Tournament - Richie Rich vs. Santa Claus

[JohnnyChany]

Santa’s elves piled into a brightly lit auditorium. They were confused as to why they were summoned to this place, but they were put at ease at the sight of Mrs. Claus.

Mrs Claus: Thanks everyone for coming, please hurry and find a seat. We are just about to begin.

Edmure the Elf: Why are we here?

Mrs. Claus: We are here to discuss the future of Christmas.

Edmure was perplexed. The silk curtain was raised and two podiums were erected on center stage. One red and white with a green bow wrapped around it and the other black with a gold dollar sign. Santa Claus emerged from the left side of the stage and stood behind the red and white podium. The richest kid in the world, Richie Rich entered from the right side of the stage accompanied by his butler, Cadbury, and his robotic maid and bodyguard, Irona. Cadbury placed a wood crate behind the black podium for Richie to stand on.

Richie Rich: Thank you for coming everyone. I know your time is valuable, but I have no doubt that this discussion will prove worthy of your time investment.

Santa Claus rolled his eyes.

Edmure: Is this a debate?”

Richie Rich: No. Not a debate. Like I said it’s just a discussion. I even brought along someone to help with the discussion. Someone with a great amount of knowledge about the pressures of holiday preparation and production. Ladies and gentlemen, elves of all ages, please join me in welcoming the Easter Bunny.

Richie Rich clapped earnestly as the Easter Bunny appeared from behind the curtain and hopped over to a desk situated in front of the first row of chairs. He stopped along the way to hand out Christmas themed Easter eggs to the elves sitting in the front row.

Edmure: That’s a moderator!

Mrs. Claus: Edmure, please, they have traveled a long way to come here and talk with us. We need to grant them our respect and hospitality.

 Easter Bunny: Thank you for having me. I have always wanted to travel to the North Pole. With that being said, Richie Rich you can start.

Richie Rich: I know what some of you are thinking. You are thinking some rich spoiled brat is here to try and attempt a hostile takeover for Christmas. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, this event was my idea because I wanted to share with you all my vision while affording St. Nick the opportunity to state his opposition. First and foremost, you should all know that I love Santa Claus. He is a living legend and should be treated as such. There should be an ice statue of him constructed at the entrance of the North Pole.

Santa Claus: If you really felt that way, I don’t believe we would be here right now.

Easter Bunny: Now Santa, you will have your turn, let Richie finish.

Richie: I would never deny all the good that Santa Claus has done, but the ugly truth is that joy and merriment are at an all time low around the globe. There are many reasons for this that have nothing to do with work being done up here, but Christmas isn’t as effective as it used to be at bringing cheer to all the children. What I am proposing is a systemic upgrade from top to bottom funded by yours truly. Together, we can make Christmas a true juggernaut of joy again. You can put your faith in me. I know what kids enjoy. I have been a kid for over sixty years. 

Easter Bunny: What specific changes do you envision, Richie?

Richie: First of all, a proper living wage for the workforce. Santa has been paying you all in sweets and candy for generations. What you deserve is monetary compensation, which I will provide.  There will be a salary scale and the most hardworking, inventive elves will receive the best pay and incentives. Next on my agenda would be improving the delivery system. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and all the rest are iconic and also living legends. They deserve an overdue retirement. I will hire the best breeders in the world to ensure their successors are stronger, faster, and better able to handle the stress of having to deliver presents to an exponentially growing population. I will also invest into scientific research on Rudolph’s shiny red nose. If it is a genetic trait that we can harness and engineer into other reindeer, then it will become a better situation for all involved. No longer will storm navigation be the sole responsibility of one deer. That isn’t fair. As you can hopefully tell by now, all I want to do is help if you will allow me to.

Easter Bunny: Santa?

Santa: What this child is suggesting may appear to be helpful, but let us all call it what it really is. He wants to reboot Christmas. Everyone dislikes reboots, they are never as good as the original, and their ideas for improvement just make things worse. I ask you my dear elves, what would you even do with cash? We do not live in a materialistic society in the North Pole. You are the most skilled craftsmen in the world, whatever item you want you can create.

Richie: There are certain items that you guys don’t own the patent on, so it would be illegal to make them. If an elf wanted to have one, they would to purcha…

Easter Bunny: Richie, we agreed on no interrupting, remember?

Richie: Sorry.

Easter Bunny: Santa, please continue.

Santa: If we meddled with Christmas, the risk would be too great. Our current system may not be perfect, but we have years of proof that it works. In this job you need to have reliability and you need to have experience. If we change things up and hand over the reigns to outsiders, the whole thing could collapse. Do any of you want to feel the responsibility for the destruction of Christmas? I know that I don’t. Remember that this holiday is based in traditions because tradition is important. If we had tried to change with the wind every time something new came along, we wouldn’t be the institution we are today. Not to mention, no offense Easter Bunny, everyone’s favorite holiday . I am not willing to risk all that we have built over one child’s opinion. An opinion that I believe may be coming from someone else. I spend most of the year talking to children, and none of them talk like Richie does here. I have concerns he is just a mouthpiece for someone else with perhaps more nefarious movies. 

The Easter Bunny took notice of Richie Rich’s wide eyed gasp.

Easter Bunny: Richie Rich, would you like a rebuttal?

Richie Rich: Absolutely, I resent that attack on my vocabulary. A kid who has been in my position for as long as I have tends to pick up all sorts of business vernacular. I would think such a thing would be celebrated, not criticized. For those unsure of my motives, I would direct you to my 2011 comic book run where I traveled the world to help poor children. All of this time, I have been looking for the best way to help the world using all my time and endless resources. This is that way. Santa, I realize you are stubbornly devoted to the old ways, but as I told you privately I am not against tradition. Yes, I want to run things behind the scenes. However,  you can still be the face of Christmas. I wouldn’t dream of trying to replace all the songs announcing your arrival that are always sung with such glee. You can still be the official representation of Christmas at all the malls.  You will be our figurehead. It would be like Stan Lee and Marvel Comics. Everyone loves Stan Lee. 

 Easter Bunny: Any final thoughts, Santa?

Santa Claus lifted up a long scroll covered in names written in red ink.

Santa: I didn’t want to have to do this because such knowledge is usually confidential, but I ask all of you, can you really put your trust in a child who has recently made an appearance on the Naughty List?

Richie Rich: I have been on the Nice List for decades. You have been tampering with the lists, old man!

Easter Bunny: I think we need to end this now before it gets too personal. Thank you all for attending.

 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Richie Rich
Read more about Richie Rich at Wikipedia
Official Site: Harvey Entertainment Links: Wikipedia Classic Media Comicvine

Santa Claus
Read more about Santa Claus at Wikipedia
Official Site: Public Domain Links: Wikipedia St. Nicholas Center Santaland

[Boratz]

Interesting set up! I really enjoyed it a lot and was very original!

I feel like Santa would win this one at the end. I think he has had many years of experience and knowledge that I believe would be the ultimate deciding factor in this debate. I do think Richie would bring in some excellent points that would cause Santa to eventually want to adapt to the changing times. Overall I think Santa will be victorious

[Fox]

Fantastic and creative match. 

Very clever pitting traditions against modernization embodied by these characters.  it's a fun read but also this match has a little philosophical food for thought in it.

I like Santa's chances here.  I'm fairly certain that in his long history, going back to the early days of Yule, there's been a takeover attempt or three.

Thanks for the great read!

 

[DSkillz]

Oh! Santa actually went to the Naughty List!  

Very nice entry, Johnny. Give the shots Santa was taking at Richie, I'm thinking he might be a bit miffed at the idea of changing up the Christmas tradition. Though Rich might have good intentions, I think Santa's right in the end that a more capitalized way of running Christmas may get the holiday corrupted in the long run, and in ways it already has in the real world.

[SSJRuss]

Fun match up for this time of year. Glad I got to it in time.

I think knowing that Richie is on the Naughty List is going to be his demise. Whatever else he has to say isn't going to fly with them. The elves are loyal to Santa and that won't change here.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
patrickthekid - CBUB Match Judge : 4 Stars x 2
Fox - CBUB Match Judge : 5 Stars x 2
Peypeypeypey - CBUB Match Judge : 4 Stars x 2
DSkillz - CBUB Match Judge : 5 Stars x 2

FPA Calculation:
4 + 4 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 8 Total Votes
( (4 * 5) + (4 * 4) + (0 * 3) + (0 * 2) + (0 * 1) ) = 36 Total Stars Score
36 / 8 = 4.50 Total Rating

MATCH SCORE
Richie Rich: 0
Santa Claus: 6

[Fox]

15 minutes ago, Callisto said:

Match Final Results

 

MATCH SCORE
Richie Rich: 0
Santa Claus: 6

 

WOW! Richie Rich is removed from the premises by security!

Mess with Santa and get the Claus!

[SSJRuss]

Richie got yeeted out of the North Pole. They take that being on the Naughty List very seriously.