Match 16314 The Dreadnoks vs. The Misfits

[broadwaybeyonder]

In his two bedroom apartment that doubled as the offices of Misfits Music, Eric Raymond sat at his desk.  Before him was the sum total of all that the Misfits had acquired from their latest PR stunt: a mountain of injunctions, lawsuits, complaints, fines, and bills.  “Cost of hiring the hot air balloon…fine for flying a hot air balloon without a license…damages made to Mr. Macpherson’s barn…lost wages due to destroyed eggs and scared chickens…”  Eric tossed the paperwork to the floor in disgust.  If only Pizzazz and the rest of the Misfits would just follow basic instructions, he would have made them the greatest rock band on the planet.  But Pizzazz would always be obsessed with showing up Jem and her Holograms by any means necessary.  True, Eric wanted to run Jerrica Benton and her prized group out of the music business, too, and he wasn’t afraid to bend or break the law to do it.  But whenever one of his plans  backfired, usually it was the Misfits’ impatience and childishness that were the reason for it.  Eric did sometimes wonder why Jerrica hadn’t taken him and the Misfits to court for their actions.  Surely they had given her enough cause to put them behind bars for the next decade.  But time after time, neither Jerrica, Jem, or the Holograms had pressed charges.  Maybe they were hiding something?  Something that Jerrica didn’t want to come out in a trial.  She always seemed too goody-goody for Eric’s liking.  No one got ahead in the music business by keeping their hands as clean as Jerrica and Jem had. 

Eric’s thoughts were interrupted by the knocking at his door.  He quickly swept piles of paper off the desk into a drawer and tried to arrange the rest into a more orderly state.  “Yes, you can come in,” said Eric, adjusting his tie.  The door opened, and two men in matching, blue suits entered the apartment.  Other than the fact that one of them had a scar on his cheek, they were practically identical.  “Hello, Mr. Raymond.  We’re so glad to see you’re in.  We tried to call you but, we only reached your answering machine.”  Eric took no time to be confused by the twins finishing each other’s sentences as he rose out of his chair with a scowl on his face.  “Oh, great.  You people again?  Look, I heard your message, and you can forget it!  I don’t want any part of Extensive Enterprises!”  The twins moved to either side of Eric’s desk, both smiling pleasantly.  “Come, come now, Mr. Raymond.  Surely you can see how selling us a controlling interest in Misfit Music would be profitable for all parties concerned.” 

“Profitable for you, maybe,” sneered Eric.  “But I don’t need you or your company’s help.”  “Really?” both twins said in unison.  “You couldn’t tell that from reading the papers these days.  The analysts are predicting that at the rate Misfits Music is hemorrhaging money, you and the Misfits will be out of business by the end of the year.  Sooner, if they keep crashing blimps into chicken farms.”  Eric glared at the twin without the scar.  “I may have issues keeping the Misfits in line, but I’m not so desperate that I’m going to get in bed with guys who do business with terrorists!” 

“Oh please,” groaned the twins as they rolled their eyes.  “If you are referring to the rumors of Extensive Enterprises association with Cobra, those stories are extremely exaggerated by certain news outlets.  And besides, when was the last time that Eric Raymond, was concerned with a little illegality?”  Pushing past the twins, Eric went to the door and held it open.  “I have enough headaches right now without worrying about G.I. Joe coming down on me, too!  Now both of you clowns get out of my office!” 

The twins smirked at each other.  “This apartment barely qualifies as an office.”  “It barely qualifies as an apartment, brother.”  “OUT!” Eric yelled as the twins calmly walked out of the apartment.  The twins made their way down the hall as the echoes of Eric’s slammed door followed after them.  “A pity that we couldn’t secure a deal, brother,” said Tomax.  “True, brother,” said Xamot. “Misfits Music would have been a very useful tool in Cobra’s money laundering operation.”  The two continued walking down the stairs.  “Perhaps it could still be.”  “Yes, brother.  Maybe Mr. Raymond just needs…” “A little persuasion.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Stormer and Jetta rushed offstage followed by a chorus a boos and a few beer bottles.  “Pizzazz!  Roxy!  Let’s get out of here!”  The other two Misfits stood on the roadhouse stage as the crowd expressed their displeasure.  “Ahh shut up!  None of you people in this two-bit town got any class!”  Pizzazz picked up one of the beer bottles and threw it back into the crowd.  “You don’t deserve to hear the Misfits sing!” 

“Nobody deserves to hear you creeps sing!” someone yelled.  “It’s cruel and unusual punishment!”  The crowd laughed and hurled more debris at the stage.  Roxy grabbed a pool cue off the wall and swung toward the tables near the front of the stage.  “Come on!  Stay that one more time, ya bunch of hicks!”  The owner of the bar rushed through the crowd to the stage, and grabbed the microphone.  “Folks!  Folks!  Please calm down!  Please don’t throw your drinks at the stage!”  He turned to Pizzazz and Roxy with a glare.  “I wanted you to sing, not start a riot!” he hissed under his breath, as the crowd continued to mutter angrily.  “I’ll deal with you later.  Go back to the dressing room and stay put ‘till I get back.”  Pizzazz shrugged and walked offstage with Roxy.  “We were going back to our room anyway.  You deal with these losers.”  A final hail of beer bottles clattered against the wall as the Misfits met in the hall behind the stage. 

“Real Yank hospitality, huh?” sneered Jetta.  “You’re one to talk, Jetta!”  snapped Roxy.  “Where were you?  You were running away faster than Stormer!”  Stormer fidgeted with her skirt and looked nervously toward the stage.  “Don’t be mad at her, Roxy.  Those people were throwing stuff at us.” 

“Those clowns don’t know nothing about rock n roll!”  Pizzazz grumbled as she reached the door to the dressing room.  “When we get back to the city I’ll let Eric know we’re never gonna work in a dump like…”  Pizzazz’ voice faded away, as she noticed that the door to their room was already open slightly.  Before she could remark on it to the other Misfits, it opened all the way, revealing a man in glasses and a blond ponytail standing in the door way.  “ ‘ello, ladies!  We didn’t expect to see you so soon!” 

“Great.  Another one of you,” Roxy muttered to Jetta.  “Shut it, rockhead!  Maybe listening to someone who speaks the Queens English might teach you something.”  Pizzazz cut through the bickering a pointed a finger at the man.  “Just who are you supposed to be?  What are you doing in my dressing room?”  The man gave a bow to the Misfits as he backed up further into the room, revealing two other bearded men sitting inside.  “Sorry, girls.  Me friends call me Buzzer.  And these are me mates, Ripper and Torch.”  Torch waved to the Misfits with a dirty look.  “Evenin’, ladies.  Nice to meet ya.”  Pizzazz stormed into the dressing room fuming as the other Misfits followed her in.  “Did Eric put you up to this?  Is this his idea of a joke?” 

“Oh, it’s no joke, darlin’,” said Buzzer.  “We were sent here to escort you from the buildin’ after the show.  Nice and safe like.”  “Forget it!” said Roxy.  “We’re not going anywhere.  Not until we get paid for this show.”  Buzzer’s smile grew decidedly less friendly, as Ripper and Torch took positions blocking the door behind him.  “I don’t think you songbirds quite understand.  You’re comin’ with us, right now.  Or we’ll have to get rough with you.” 

“Why you little creep!” cried Pizzazz, charging forward before being stopped by Jetta grabbing her arm.  “Easy, Pizzazz.  I’m sure we can sort this out.”  She turned toward Buzzer and gave her best attempt at a smile.  “Surely you wouldn’t want to get rough with me, a fellow Brit?”  Buzzer snorted as Jetta drew closer to him.   “Don’t try any of that ‘God Save the Queen’ stuff with me, girlie.  We’ve a job to do and we’re gonna do it.”  Jetta wrapped her arms around Buzzer’s neck and looked into his eyes.  “And so will I, mate.” 

Jetta jammed her knee into Buzzer’s groin, causing him to groan in pain and collapse onto Ripper and Torch.  “Jetta!” gasped Stormer.  “What are you doing?”  “What do you think she’s doing, nitwit?” snapped Pizzazz.  “She’s getting us outta here!  Let’s move, Misfits!”  The four rock stars scrambled over the fallen Dreadnoks and ran out of the dressing room.  Ripper and Torch got to their feet and helped out Buzzer.  “Great job, Buzzer,” Ripper said sarcastically.  “I knew we should have told Zartan about this mission.”  Buzzer glared at his partners.  “What?  And share the gold that Xamot and Tomax are paying?  We don’t need Zartan.  They’re just a bunch of birds!  Come on!  After ‘em before they get away!” 

The Misfits ran back onto the stage and nearly right into the owner.  “Didn’t I tell you four to stay in the dressing room?  I’ve just calmed these people down from the last time you were on!”  A group of locals started making their way to the stage, with their leader in front armed with a pool cue.  “Don’t send them away just yet.  We want to hear them say some more nice things about us.  You want to call us hicks and losers now?”  Pizzazz looked behind her to see the Dreadnoks rushing onstage.  She turned back to the ringleader and smirked.  “I’ll call you whatever I want to, pigface.  If you want to get me, you’ll have to deal with my private security team.”  She pointed her finger right at the Dreadnoks.  The ringleader gave a dangerous smile.  “Good.  It’s gonna be a fun night after all.”  “Oh bollocks,” said Buzzer. 

 

 

OK:

The Dreadnoks win by capturing the Misfits and getting them out of the bar in one piece.  No weapons.  The Twins want them alive.  

The Misfits win by creating enough chaos in the resulting barfight that they are able to escape. 

Game On!

[Callisto]

Learn More About
The Dreadnoks
Read more about The Dreadnoks at Wikipedia
Official Site: Hasbro Links: Wikipedia GI Joe Wiki My Useless Knowledge

The Misfits
Read more about The Misfits at Wikipedia
Official Site: Hasbro Links: Wikipedia Jem and the Holograms Wiki Rock Jem

[broadwaybeyonder]

Just to give you an idea of who we're dealing with for this match.

The Dreadnoks have a philosophical debate - YouTube

The Misfits - Makin Mischief (6/187) - YouTube

[Pizzaguy2995]

I appreciate you taking the time to write up a very well written scenario Broadway, I also like it when someone tries using not so well known characters.

Thanks for adding those videos too, I’m not too familiar with GI Joe or Jem and the Holograms. Just going off the video though, the Dreadnoks seemed like the types who get distracted pretty easily, to the point they get into petty brawls over “breath mints” and “candy mints.” So if the Misfits just need to get them distracted long enough to escape, then I’ll vote for them to take the match.

[JohnnyChany]

Great scenario for this Hasbro crossover. I will echo Pizzaguy's appreciation of using lesser known characters. I am familiar with the old GI JOE cartoon so I wanted to pull for Zartan's crew, but I think this setup is a great situation for the Misfits to manipulate the situation and flee the scene.

[RakaiThwei]

A conflict between two of Hasbro's properties! Nice!

[DSkillz]

I was halfway expecting the Dreadnoks to show up as Cold Slither. Who could cause more chaos between them and the Misfits would be a real toss-up.  

But yeah, great and funny set-up, broadwaybeyonder. You really have the characterization and the atmosphere of this part of the G1 Hasbro-verse down pat. As for the match, I concur that the Misfits would cause enough chaos in the crowd to make their escape, especially since the Dreadnoks sans Zartan and Zarana aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer to being with. 

I do somehow foresee a Misfits / Cold Slither collab later on once things calm down, though.  

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - patrickthekid
5.00 - JohnnyChany
4.80 - DSkillz
4.50 - Pizzaguy2995

FPA Calculation:
4 Total Votes cast
19.30 Total Combined Score
19.30 / 4 = 4.83 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
The Dreadnoks: 1
The Misfits: 5

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

“So let me get this straight,” said Eric Raymond as he sat at his desk, hands folded.  “You started a brawl that nearly tore down a bar, because you thought some British bikers were trying to kidnap you?”  The Misfits sheepishly stood before Eric, still sporting bruises from the incident.  “But that’s what happened, Eric,” said Stormer.  “There’s no telling what those guys would have done to us.  We were lucky we got away!” 

“And we wouldn’t have been in that dump anyway if you could get us better gigs,” snarled Pizzazz.  “And how am I supposed to get you better gigs, Pizzazz, if no one wants to take the chance of you girls having another meltdown?!”  Eric sighed and leaned back in his chair.  “Look, ladies, I may have a solution.  I have been in contact with another rock group that wants to sign with Misfits Music.”  Roxy rushed to the desk enraged.  “Are you replacing us, Eric?!” 

“No, of course not, Roxy.  But by having another band might help get more eyes on both groups.  Bigger venues, more money.”  The Misfits gave each other unsure looks.  “I don’t know about this, Eric,” said Jetta.  “Trust me, ladies,” soothed Eric.  “Once I sign this group, the Misfits will be bigger and badder than ever.  Now, run along back to the hotel.  And try to go a night without wrecking it.” 

“Whatever, Eric,” said Pizzazz as she headed for the door.  “Let’s go, Misfits.”  The door slammed shut, and Eric looked through the contracts before him.  But something nagged at the back of his mind.  A few weeks ago he had turned down Extensive Enterprises’ offer, then this supposed kidnapping happens.  But then again, if Extensive Enterprises truly was trying to make a power move, and had connections with Cobra like they said on the news, surely they would have found people to do the job who could handle four stuck up rockers like the Misfits.  Probably just another excuse for another Misfit fiasco. 

The sound of the door opening made Eric look up.  He smiled as the four men in glam rock attire entered the room.  “Good afternoon, gentlemen.  I’m glad you could make it.  After listening to that tape you sent me I think you and the Misfits would work great together.  I’m sure we can get all the paperwork squared away and have your contracts all ready for legal before you leave.  Now, excuse me for asking, but er…what was your name again?”  The man in the leather vest and mask with flowing, red hair smiled and answered in a strange, echoing voice.  “Cold Slither, Mr. Raymond.”