Match 16892 Robots (I, Robot) vs. The Prawns

[broadwaybeyonder]

Nicolaas Andries sat in a café in Johannesburg, South Africa looking impatiently at his watch.  His brow was furrowed in irritation as he loosened his tie.  He hated being kept waiting, almost as much as he hated Johannesburg.  Nicolaas had been working with Multinational United for 5 years, and in that time he had been on many trips to their offices across the globe.  But Johannesburg?  Nicolaas loathed the heat, the crowds, the noise.  Not to mention the bloody Prawns. 

He glanced up to see a woman in a blue pant suit and sunglasses making her way down the street.  Her brown hair was pulled into a bun, and she seemed to be utterly unfazed the squalor surrounding her.  She strode to the table Nicolaas was sitting at and smiled as she took off her sunglasses and tucked them in her shirt.  “Nicolaas Andries?  Gretchen Harrington.  Pleasure to meet you.  Sorry to keep you waiting.”  She offered her hand to Nicolaas, who coughed nervously as he rose from his seat to shake it.  “Waiting?  Oh no, not at all.  I was just feeling concerned that you may have gotten lost.  Even in the daytime, Johannesburg can be dangerous place.”  Nicolaas gestured to the seat opposite him, and Gretchen sat down.  “Your concern is appreciated, Mr. Andries.  But I’ve been to my fair share of ‘dangerous places’.” 

Nicolaas took his seat and drank some water.  “Now then, er, I read your message, and you said something about a proposal for Mr. Smit.  I’m, er, a little confused why you would come to me then, instead him.”  Gretchen waved off a waiter and leaned closer to the table.  “Because this proposal is particularly delicate, and my employer would prefer it to be dealt with in a manner that won’t bring themselves or Mr. Smit under scrutiny.” 

“And just who is your employer, anyway?”  Gretchen grinned and raised a finger to her lips.  “Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?  Let’s just say I’m like you, a small piece of a much larger organization.  One that at times fails to show the appreciation my talents merit.  Until a day like today comes along.”  Nicolaas’ cough came back again as he took another sip of his water.  “Ahem.  But what do you want to do with me?  Err, what do you want with me?”  Gretchen ignored Nicolaas’ stammering and went on.  “Mr. Andries, the people I represent want to help you and MNU with your problem.  Tell me, how would your superiors feel if the Prawn population in District 9 ceased to exist?”  The bluntness of the question nearly made Nicolaas spit out his water.  “Multinational United has invested millions in manpower and equipment to maintain District 9,” he said wiping his mouth with a napkin.  “We would need at least a few of the Prawns in order to continue our experiments with their technology.  Off the record, it would technically be more cost effective to run an environment of a handful of Prawns than an entire district.” 

“I figured you would feel that way,” said Gretchen.  “And I am sure there are many corporations that would love to assist you in your studies, and share in the dividends that those studies produce.  Corporations like U.S. Robotics, perhaps.”  Nicolaas subconsciously looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening.  He turned his attention back to Gretchen.  “You work for USR?”  Gretchen looked coyly at Nicolaas.  “I didn’t say that.  But I have heard on the news that the USR has had some security troubles lately.  NS-5s disappearing off the assembly line, transports hijacked…” 

“Robots falling off of trucks?” Nicolaas smirked.  Gretchen smiled and shrugged.  “It’s embarrassing to be sure, but every system does have it’s loopholes.”  Nicolaas looked over the rim of his glass at Gretchen.  “And just how many of your tin men have slipped through these holes?”  Gretchen’s voice grew serious and low as her facial expression remained cheerful.  “1.5 million.  Over 900k have been positioned in Johannesburg.   The rest will be here by the end of the week.”  A waiter walked to the table and offered a pitcher of water to Nicolaas.  “Refill, sir?”  Nicolaas pushed the pitcher aside and glared.  “No!  Can’t you see I’m having a conversation?  Go pester someone else!” 

The waiter skulked off as Nicolaas set his glass aside.  “You are aware, Miss Harrington, that there are 2 million Prawns encamped in District 9.  Are you sure your robots would be up to the task?  Besides I thought they had rules against killing.”  Gretchen nodded.  “We’ve run the scenarios.  Given that many of the Prawns are either young or elderly, the NS-5s should be more than capable of dealing with any hostiles.  As for the Three Laws, they were designed to keep robots from killing humans.  And Prawns aren’t humans, are they?”  Nicolaas was liking this woman more and more as this meeting went on. 

“After the Prawn population has been euthanized,” continued Gretchen, “USR will be sending a force of robots to deal with the rogue NS-5s.  It will be assumed that they were reprogramed by some anti-Prawn hate group and destroyed.  But the NS-5s will recover the younger Prawns that had been taken prisoner, remanding them to the custody of MNU.  With a little training, and the gold mine of information on the Prawn genome you will gather from the autopsies, we should be able to get their technology working for us in no time!”  That snapped Nicolaas out his daze.  “Hmm?  Us?  What do you mean us?” 

“Well, U.S. Robotics would be more than willing to lend a hand in the rehabilitation of the Prawns,” said Gretchen, placing her hand on the table next to Nicolaas’.  “And with assisting in the experiments with the Prawn tech.  A merger of resources would only bring swifter results and greater profits for all parties.”  Nicolaas started looking over his shoulder again as Gretchen placed her hand on his.  “I think you can see the big picture here, Nicolaas.  USR NS-5s enhanced with MNU technology?  We are on the verge of a breakthrough that could change the world.  A change that we both could be a part of.  Together.” 

Nicolaas looked into Gretchen’s face, and gently took her hand.  He smiled confidently at her.  “I will bring your proposal to Mr. Smit.  I don’t think you will have roadblocks from him.”  Gretchen leaned closer to Nicolaas.  “Good,” she said softly.  “So,” grinned Nicolaas as he held both his hands around Gretchen’s.  “You were mentioning something about mergers?”  Gretchen smiled politely but swiftly pulled her hand away.  “Unfortunately, I don’t have the time.  I need to get back to my hotel to inform my employer.  Perhaps then we can discuss this after my business here is finished.”  Gretchen rose from her chair, and Nicolaas followed.  Gretchen offered another handshake.  “It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Andries.”  Nicolaas took her hand and looked in her eyes.  “Believe me, the pleasure was mine.  But when you make your report to your, heh, ‘employer’, make sure to tell them these robots better get the job done.”  Gretchen’s eyes flashed dangerously and her smile grew cold.  “Don’t worry, Mr. Andries.  They will.” 

 

OK:

Robots: 1.5 million NS-5s.  All in perfect working order. 

Prawns: 2 million, some young/elderly.  Access to the Prawn tech in District 9, minus the ship. 

Robots win by destroying District 9 and taking the young Prawns prisoner.  Prawns win by destroying the Robots. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Robots (I, Robot)
Read more about Robots (I, Robot) at Wikipedia
Official Site: 20th Century Fox Links: Wikipedia Wikia Wikia

The Prawns
Read more about The Prawns at Wikipedia
Official Site: TriStar Pictures Links: Wikipedia District 9 wiki official site

[Pizzaguy2995]

Never saw District 9 sadly. But I remember the robots from I Robot being pretty badass and strong, so I’ll back them.

[Venom 2009]

I give the match a 5.0.

[DSkillz]

Good set-up, broadway. I've seen I, Robot, but not District 9 (after looking it up, I kinda wish I had). 

After looking up the Prawns, the NS-5's just look more durable and powerful. Head-to-head, I think the NS-5's manage to subdue them.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.20 - Pizzaguy2995
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.70 - DSkillz

FPA Calculation:
3 Total Votes cast
13.90 Total Combined Score
13.90 / 3 = 4.63 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Robots (I, Robot): 2
The Prawns: 3

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

“Will you hurry up?” Nicolaas hissed.  He was running up the stairwell of Johannesburg hotel as Gretchen tried to keep up.  She was wearing a dress that was not designed for speed and she was carrying her heels in one hand.  “They’re coming!  Nicolaas, they’re coming!”  Nicolaas grabbed her by the arm and dragged up the next flight of stairs until they reached the door to the roof.  He slammed the door behind them and searched in vain for something to block it.  “You and your bloody robots!” he grumbled.  “Foolproof, you said.  The best that USR has ever made, you said.” 

“Oh shut up and do something!” Gretchen screeched.  “How are we going to get down from here?!”  There was a loud thud of something slamming against the steel door to the roof.  Gretchen rushed to Nicolaas and tried to hide herself behind him.  There was nowhere for the two to go.  The door flew off it’s hinges as three NS-5’s walked onto the roof.  “Look,” begged Nicolaas.  “It wasn’t our fault!  I mean this wasn’t our idea!  We didn’t know the Prawns were going to fight back like that!” 

“I am an employee of the USR!” Gretchen shouted at the robots, her voice shaking.  “Verify me!  You will not harm us!  Confirm command!”  The robots continued to move into position.  They slowly continued advancing on the couple, forcing them closer and closer to the edge of the roof.  “We have a message for Miss Gretchen Harrington and Mister Nicolaas Andries,” the lead robot intoned.  Gretchen and Nicolaas held onto each other in fear.  “M m message?  What message?” stammered Nicolaas. 

“From the board of directors of US Robotics and Multi-National United,” the robot went on.  “Thank you for all of your years of hard work for our companies.  However, due to recent setbacks, your services will no longer be required.  Best of luck in your future endeavors.”  The robots continued their advance, and Nicolaas and Gretchen screamed and begged as they drew nearer to the edge. 

A South African newspaper detailed the incident in District 9 as an unfortunate result of anti-alien terrorists tampering with USR technology, and that MNU was relieved that casualties to the Prawns was minimal.  There was also a brief story detailing the apparent suicide of Nicolaas Andries and Gretchen Harrington.  The article said that the authorities concluded that the couple had an argument following being fired from their jobs, and tragically fell from the roof a Johannesburg hotel.  An unfortunate accident.