Match 18076 Emma Peel vs. Baroness

[broadwaybeyonder]

Major Bludd stood with arms crossed behind his back as he overlooked the communications room of the Cobra relay station.  Before him a row of Tele-Vipers sat in front of computer screens, their helmets buzzing as they dissected information.  “Any sign of her?” asked Bludd impatiently.  One of the Tele-Vipers turned to Bludd, the word ‘negative’ flashing on his visor.  “No, Major.  Radar isn’t picking up the Baroness’ Rattler.”  Bludd looked out the large glass window that overlooked the topical landscape surrounding the station.  “Well, keep watching!  She’s scheduled to arrive any minute now.  And I’m not having her give a bad report to Cobra Commander because we…”

Bludd felt something clang against his helmet.  He looked down to see a poker chip clattering to the floor.  He glared behind him at the laughing faces of the Dreadnoks.  Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch sat at a folding table, each with a pile of chips and a hand of cards.  “What’s the matter, Bludd?” snickered Buzzer.  “Don’t want Mommy to give you a spanking?”  Bludd picked up the chip and threw it back to the table in disgust.  “Don’t you morons have anything else to do except mess about?  You’re here to provide security, not play cards!”  Ripper pushed some chips into the pile.  “Aw, give it a rest, Bludd.  We’ve been over this base a hundred times already!  There’s nothing on this island except a bunch of birds and monkeys, and those ruddy Joes don’t have clue where it is!”  Torch leaned back in his chair.  “Yeah!  Nobody can get in ‘ere without us knowing about itUMPH!” 

Torch’s face slammed into the table as his chair was kicked out from under him.  The table collapsed and chips and cards scattered on the floor.  Bludd and the Tele-Vipers stood frozen in surprise as they saw the Baroness standing in the doorway, hands on her hips and eyes piercing through her glasses.  “Baroness!” Bludd stammered.  “We.. We were expecting you!” 

“Stop you’re groveling, Major!” the Baroness snapped.  “Do you buffoons still remember how to salute in the presence of your superiors?”  Bludd and the Tele-Vipers quickly stood to attention and saluted.  The Dreadnoks sheepishly followed suit, with Torch still holding his jaw.  The Baroness marched past the mercenaries and down the stairs toward the row of computers.  “I sincerely hope your lack of response to my request to land was merely a technical error.  I would hate to make a note of your inefficiency.”  Bludd hurried after the Baroness and walked alongside her as she examined each Tele-Viper at their station.  “I assure you, Baroness, that everything’s in order!  We can keep track of all Cobra transmissions.  And when the Commander is ready for his new offensive, we’ll be able to coordinate the attack from here, without G.I. Joe having a clue where we are!” 

“I thought I said that,” Ripper grumbled to Torch.  The Baroness nodded in approval.  “Very good, Major.  You and your guards will leave the control room now.”  Bludd was taken aback.  He cocked his head in confusion.  “Um… leave?  Baroness, I assure you everything is in order!”  The Baroness pushed past the Tele-Vipers to sit in a rolling chair at one of the consoles.  “So you say.  I will be using the communications satellite to make my report to Cobra Commander, and I will be doing so in private.”  Her eyes narrowed as she turned her gaze back to Bludd.  “Unless you have a problem with that?  I’m sure Cobra Commander would be most interested to know why you would impede my inspection.”  Bludd spluttered for a moment, then gave a salute.  “Oh, not at all, ma’am!  Do whatever you want!”  He spun around on the Tele-Vipers and Dreadnoks.  “You heard her, layabouts!  Clear out, and stand guard outside the doors to wait for further orders from the Baroness!”  Ripper gazed longingly at the broken card table.  “Aww.  And I had a royal flush and everythin’!”  Buzzer dragged him by the arm after Bludd and the Tele-Vipers out the door.  “We’ll all get a flush if we don’t move it, Ripper!  Get a move on!” 

The metal door to the control room slid shut.  The Baroness turned back towards the screen and gave a sigh of relief, allowing an uncharacteristic smile to play on her lips.  She lightly tapped an unseen button on the side of her glasses.  “Steed?” ‘the Baroness’ said quietly in a British accent.  “Can you read me alright?” 

“Loud and clear, Mrs. Peel,” a familiar voice replied over a speaker in the glasses’ frame.  “How is your tropical holiday coming along?”  Emma Peel rose from her seat and started walking to the corner of the room where a mounted surveillance camera scanned the room.  “Oh, it’s lovely,” she said, readying a small jamming device and sticking it to the side of the camera.  “If it wasn’t for the army of reptile worshiping terrorists.  How about you?  How’s things on your end?” 

“Smoothly,” Steed said as Emma walked to another camera.  “These G.I. Joes are quite a unique bunch.  Some of them sound ready to make a move on Cobra right now.”  Emma placed the jammer on the second camera then walked back to her computer station.  “Don’t be too hard on them, Steed.  They are Americans, after all.” 

“Now don’t get me wrong,” Steed continued.  “They’re all good fellows.  In fact, there’s one operative that I find most intriguing.”  Emma raised a knowing eyebrow.  “Really?  What’s her name?”  Emma was pleased as she heard the dramatic tone in Steed’s voice.  “Mrs. Peel!  I’m shocked you would assume such a chauvinistic thing of me!” 

“I know.  What’s her name?”  Emma could hear Steed sigh as she started working through the passwords of the computer.  “Her codename happens to be Scarlett.” 

“As in the Pimpernel, the Fever, or the Letter?” 

“She’s an extremely talented agent, who has been assigned as my liaison to G.I. Joe for this mission.  She seems to be rather intrigued by me.  Perhaps by my charm?  My sense of style.” 

“Your unfailing modesty?” 

“Naturally.”  Emma rolled her eyes as she continued working through the Cobra firewalls and Steed went on talking.  “I even offered to take to her dinner after this business is over.  Monte Carlo perhaps.” 

“Purely in the interest of good diplomatic relations.” 

“Naturally.” 

“And she turned you down?”  There was a pause on the other end of the line before Steed finally replied.  “Irreversibly.” 

“Naturally,” Emma grinned.  She clicked on an icon on the screen and the screen finally opened.  Emma’s tone grew serious.  “Steed?  I think I’ve cracked it.” 

“What is it?  What have you got?”  Emma pressed another hidden button on her glasses and started scrolling through the images flashing across the screen.  “Cobra troop movements.  Supply trade lines.  They’ve even got locations of their other bases.” 

“Use the camera in the glasses to record as much as you can,” said Steed.  “But don’t take too long.  Those Cobra chaps aren’t going to wait forever.  And, Mrs. Peel?” 

“Yes, Steed?” 

“Do be careful with those glasses.  If they were to get broken, this entire plan would go belly up.”  Emma smiled confidently as she continued to record the data from the Cobra computer.  “Don’t worry, Steed.  I will do my best to not make a spectacle of myself.” 

Meanwhile, outside the door, the Dreadnoks, Bludd, and the Tele-Vipers waited nervously for the Baroness to let them back in their control room.  “What’s takin’ her royal highness so long in there?” grumbled Torch.  “Hold your tongue, mercenary!” snapped Bludd.  “The Baroness is one of Cobra Commander’s most trusted operatives.  She can take as much time as she wants!  And anyone who has a problem with that can spend the rest of their tour here in the brig!” 

“Major Bludd!”  The major spun around and his jaw hit the floor.  For standing before him further down the hallway was the Baroness.  She fumed toward the confused Cobras and glared at Bludd.  “What is the meaning of this?”  Bludd looked back and forth from the Baroness to the door to the control room.  “But… but.. Baroness, what are you doing out here?”  The Baroness slapped Bludd, sending him falling back into the Tele-Vipers.  “You fool!  I’m here for your inspection!  I had to land my Rattler myself because no one answered my request to land!” 

“Funny that, isn’t it, lads?” Ripper said to Torch and Buzzer.  “That’s what she said last time!”  The Baroness stared at Ripper with increasing impatience.  “What do you mean, “last time”?!”  Bludd coughed nervously.  “Baroness, we thought you had already arrived.  30 minutes ago.  You ordered us out of the control room.”  The Baroness looked dumbfounded at Bludd, then grabbed him the lapels of his uniform enraged.  “You idiot!  You’ve been tricked!  We have a spy in our base!”  She shouted orders to the Tele-Vipers.  “Sound the alarm!  Put the whole station on lockdown!  No communications get out until further notice!  And one of you morons open that blasted door!” 

A klaxon blared out, making Emma look away from her computer screen in concern.  “I sincerely hope that’s the dinner bell,” said Steed over the speakers.  Emma quickly started closing the files on the computer and shutting it down.  “If it is, I’m about to have guests for supper.  Alert G.I. Joe.  I need an evac quickly!”  Steed’s reply was drowned out in static.  Emma tapped on the glasses’ frame urgently.  “Steed?  Steed!” 

The door to the control room was blown open.  Emma leapt to her feet as the Dreadnoks ran in with their rifles drawn.  The Baroness stormed into the room with her pistol at the ready and Bludd by her side.  Emma pointed a finger at Bludd and put on her Baroness accent.  “Major!  What is the meaning of this intrusion?”  The real Baroness gave a look of disbelief at Bludd.  “This is the imposter you believed to be me?!” 

“Well, they do look a lot a like,” said Ripper.  “SILENCE!” both Emma and the Baroness shouted in unison.  Ripper backed up next to Torch.  “Sound a like, too,” he muttered.  The Baroness advanced on Emma.  “Well, G.I. Joe thought they could send someone to impersonate me?  I applaud you for your audacity, but your mission ends here!”  Emma slowly backed up behind the chair, hands up in front of her.  “Let’s not do anything rash,” she said in her Baroness accent.  “Why don’t we take a moment to sit down and talk?” 

Emma quickly delivered a kick to the chair, sending it flying into the Baroness.  She cried out in frustration and fired her pistol, the chair sending the shot into the computers.  Emma took off running, grabbing the remains of the card table as a battering ram to push past the Dreadnoks.  “Shoot her, you imbeciles!” screamed the Baroness.  Emma delivered a chop to a Tele-Viper then leapt over the others before dashing down the hallway.  “After her!” cried the Baroness.  “Catch that spy!  She must not escape!  But bring to me alive!  She will pay for her impudence!  COBRAAAAA!”  The cry was taken up by the Baroness’ followers.  “COBRAAAAA!” 

OK:

Both Emma and the Baroness are at full strength.  Emma is still disguised as the Baroness. 

The base is manned by a platoon of Cobra troopers, Tele-Vipers, and the Dreadnoks. 

Emma wins by avoiding capture, defeating the Baroness, and escaping the base. 

The Baroness wins by her forces capturing Emma and defeating her one on one. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Emma Peel
Read more about Emma Peel at Wikipedia
Official Site: itv Links: Wikipedia TV Acres The Avengers Forever!

Baroness
Read more about Baroness at Wikipedia
Official Site: Hasbo Links: Wikipedia Yo Joe My Useless Knowledge

[Boratz]

This was awesome!

I've been wanting to use some GI Joe/Cobra characters for a while so it is nice to see them get some love

[leroypowell3]

Sadly I've never seen the old Avengers show. Not even a clip. I assume they're pretty evenly matched so I'll just go with the good guy here unless somebody tells me something to convince me Barroness is superior.

[Venom 2009]

Good Match! I give the setup a 5.0.

[JohnnyChany]

23 hours ago, leroypowell3 said:

Sadly I've never seen the old Avengers show. Not even a clip. I assume they're pretty evenly matched so I'll just go with the good guy here unless somebody tells me something to convince me Barroness is superior.

This is pretty much where I am, although I did see the 1998 movie and was very confused at an Avengers title with no Captain America or Iron Man lol. 

[broadwaybeyonder]

In the interests of fairness, here are some clips of both the Baroness and Emma Peel.  Hope they will give you a better idea of how they match up.  

The Avengers: Emma Peel First Appearance HD - YouTube

Emma Peel - Danger Never Sleeps - YouTube

Last Hour to Doomsday | G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero | S02 | E06 | Full Episode - YouTube

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero - No Problem with the Gung-Ho Family - YouTube

 

 

[JohnnyChany]

42 minutes ago, broadwaybeyonder said:

In the interests of fairness, here are some clips of both the Baroness and Emma Peel.  Hope they will give you a better idea of how they match up.  

The Avengers: Emma Peel First Appearance HD - YouTube

Emma Peel - Danger Never Sleeps - YouTube

Last Hour to Doomsday | G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero | S02 | E06 | Full Episode - YouTube

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero - No Problem with the Gung-Ho Family - YouTube

 

 

Always helpful and appreciated

[patrickthekid]

Probably one of the best writeups I've seen on this site in a while. Great job.

Honestly, I'm torn. I'm biased towards Baroness, but Emma Peel's got a whole lot of skills to back her up. Not that Baroness isn't too bad in the marksman and fencing department either. I will have to give it to Peel due to having more experience in hands-on combat.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - JohnnyChany
4.90 - leroypowell3
5.00 - Venom 2009
5.00 - patrickthekid
5.00 - Boratz

FPA Calculation:
5 Total Votes cast
24.90 Total Combined Score
24.90 / 5 = 4.98 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Emma Peel: 4
Baroness: 2

[DSkillz]

Another good set-up, broadway. Sorry I missed this one.

As for the match, while I'm very familiar with Baroness from the '80's G.I. Joe 'toon, I haven't seen the Avengers TV show or the '98 film, so I couldn't have said how Peel would've fared against her.

[broadwaybeyonder]

AND NOW THE CONCLUSION

Alarms and klaxons rang out as Emma Peel hurried through the corridors of the Cobra station.  Three Cobra troopers ran around the corner and skidded to a halt when the saw her.  “Freeze!” the leader shouted, aiming his rifle.  Emma pointed a finger at the troopers.  “Idiots!” she shouted in her Baroness voice.  “I’m the real Baroness!  Continue your search!  The spy mustn’t get away!  COBRAAA!” 

“COBRAAAA!”  The troopers shouted as they raced past Emma.  She was just about to start breathing when the real Baroness’ voice rang out over the PA system.  “This is the Baroness!  Be on the alert!  We have an intruder!  She is in disguise as me!  Take her in custody, then bring her to me in the control room!”  The troopers stood for a moment in confusion, then glared back at Emma.  She shrugged.  “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”  She took off running as the troopers took aim.  “Shoot her!  Take her down!” the leader yelled.  Emma ducked around the corner just in time to dodge the blast of rifle fire.  The troopers gave chase, and ran around the corner just in time to see a grate slamming shut over an air vent. 

“She’s in the ventilation system!” the leader barked into his radio.  In the control room, the Baroness pounded her fist on a terminal.  “Fools!  Seal the vents!  Start pumping in the gas!  Force her into corridor 7!”  She slammed a button on a terminal, calling the faces of the Dreadnoks onto her screen.  “Dreadnoks!  Move into position in corridor 7!  The vent there will be the only one our spy will be able to access!  Be ready for her!” 

“Don’t worry, Baroness!” replied Buzzer.  “We got her trapped like a rat!”  The Dreadnoks started running down the hall, weapons at the ready.  Meanwhile, in the vent, Emma crawled through the narrow passage.  She could hear the sound of hissing all around her.  “Not.. very… hospitable,” she coughed.  She slowly pressed on through the clouds of knockout gas, reaching for something on her belt. 

The Dreadnoks aimed their weapons at the grate over the vent in corridor 7.  “That bird will come up for air here,” Buzzer sneered.  “We got ‘er now!  Ready, lads?”  Torch and Ripper grinned and nodded.  Buzzer charged up the saw on his rifle and sliced off the grate and poked his head inside the vent.  “See anythin’, Buzzer?” Ripper asked.  The three Dreadnoks were so engrossed looking at the vent, they failed to see the grate above them kicked off it’s bearings and a cloud of gas pouring out.  Emma Peel fell out after it wearing an oxygen mask with a small tank of air on her back.  She crashed down on top of Ripper and Torch, the sudden noise causing Buzzer to bang his head against the vent in surprise.  He turned around in time to see Emma deliver an overhand chop to Ripper and a kick to the gut of Torch.  Buzzer revved up his saw and swung it at Emma, but she easily trapped his arm and executed a judo throw that slammed Buzzer face first into a metal wall.  Emma took off the mask and tank and casually tossed them on the pile of unconscious Dreadnoks.  “You fellows look like you could use some fresh air.”  She quickly started running down the corridor and turned left to a large metallic door. 

The door slid open, and Emma blinked as the sun got in her eyes.  When her vision cleared, she could see that she had reached the outside of the base.  Before her was the airfield, with several Cobra Rattlers getting fueled.  Emma sped across the field towards the nearest Rattler.  Behind her she could hear Troopers shouting orders.  She ducked behind a Rattler as a spray of lasers peppered the fuselage.  She peeked her head around to get a look at the oncoming Troopers, only to feel a blow on the back of her head. 

Emma fell to the ground and looked up to see the smirking face of the Baroness.  She pointed her pistol at Emma, and motioned her to rise.  “On your feet, spy.  Your little game is over!”  Emma kicked out with her legs and trapped the Baroness by the ankles.  The Baroness fell forward next to Emma, who quickly got on top of her and put her in a headlock.   Emma picked up the fallen pistol and hoisted the struggling Baroness to her feet.  She walked forwards around the Rattler, twisting the Baroness arm behind her back.  “Hold your fire!” Emma shouted.  “I have the Baroness as my prisoner!  Hold your fire!”  The Troopers stopped their advance and stood frozen in confusion.  “Shoot her, you fools!”  the Baroness screeched.  “Now, now,” Emma said, tightening her grip.  “Good terrorists should be seen, not heard.  Now I want you to get into this jet, and order your men to give me clear passage off this island.”  The Baroness laughed ruefully.  “Or what?  You’ll shoot me?  G.I. Joe would never allow such treatment of a prisonARGH!” 

“I am not a member of G.I. Joe,” Emma said coldly.  The Baroness struggled to release herself but couldn’t break free from Emma’s hold.  “It doesn’t matter!” she groaned.  “If I got in that Rattler with you, Cobra would shoot us both out of the sky!”  Emma looked back at the Troopers as they began moving into flanking positions.  “I must say I’m not impressed by your choice of friends, Baroness.” 

“Joke all you want spy!  But I suggest you surrender!  I will gladly give my life for the cause of Cobra!”  Emma gave one last scan of the airfield then shrugged.  “Well, when you put it that way…” 

Emma shoved the Baroness to turf and quickly ran to the ladder that led to the Rattler’s cockpit.  “Kill her!” the Baroness called to the Troopers.  “Shoot her now!”  Emma slid into the cockpit and closed the canopy.  She could hear the rifle fire ricocheting off the Rattler as she fired up the engine and grabbed hold of the controls.  The Rattler’s VTOL engines roared to life and the jet lifted up into the air.  “Scramble the Rattlers!” the Baroness howled as Emma Peel took off into the sky and across the jungle. 

“Baroness!” The Baroness instantly recognized the familiar gruff voice.  She turned around to see Destro, standing in front of the Troopers and Dreadnoks.  “Destro, darling!” she breathed.  “These idiots allowed an intruder disguised as me into our base!”  Destro nodded.  “I was picking up the alarms on the Cobra channel.  I came as fast as possible to see if you required assistance.”  The Baroness pushed past Destro and ran to another Rattler.  “You can, Destro!  By helping me shoot that impudent woman out of the sky!  Major Bludd!  Get two more pilots to accompany us!”  Destro strode over to his Rattler chuckling.  “Such ferocity.  What I’ve always admired about you, Baroness.” 

Emma Peel’s Rattler was beginning to smoke from it’s engines as she finally made it over the ocean.  A warning beep from her radar caused her to look down, and see five blips moving towards her.  “I sure hope your awake, Steed,” Emma said under her breath.  The Rattler’s moved in formation with the Baroness’ in the lead. Bludd and Destro flanked her while the other two brought up the rear.  “Major Bludd!” she called over her radio.  “Order your men to engage the stolen Rattler!  Shoot her down!  COBRAAA!” 

“COBRAAA!”  The Baroness didn’t notice that only three voices returned the cry.  The squadron moved in on Emma’s damaged Rattler.  But just they were about to be on top of her, Destro’s Rattler thrust reversed behind them.  “Destro!” Bludd cried.  “What the blazes are you trying to do?!” 

“Delivering a message from some friends of yours,” ‘Destro’ said, in a distinctly British accent.  “Message reads as follows.”  The Cobras could only gawk as they heard the sound of John Steed clearing his throat before shouting at the top of his voice.  “YOOOOOOO JOE!” 

Steed’s Rattler opened fire on the others, taking out Bludd’s and one of the others in short order.  The other pilot managed to evade the first strike only for Steed’s Rattler to streak past him and deliver a burst of fire that sent the Rattler bursting into flames.  The Baroness’ eyes burned with rage at the sight of her squadron’s jets crashing into the ocean, followed by her parachuting pilots.  “I’m surrounded by spies and idiots!” she howled.  Her ravings were interrupted by a final rocket from Steed, sending her Rattler spinning into the water after her men. 

Emma picked up her radio.  “You certainly take your time, Steed,” she said smiling. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Peel.  It just takes forever to get one’s suit ready.  Are you still able to stay airborne?” 

Emma gave a quick glance at her console.  “As long as you don’t expect me to fly the Atlantic and no one starts shooting at me again.” 

“Good.  Proceed to the Joe base as planned.  Good work, Mrs. Peel.” 

Emma leaned back in her seat.  “And thank you, Steed.” 

The Baroness’ head broke the surface of the water and glared furiously up at the two Rattlers disappearing over the horizon.  She shook her fist as she clung to the wreck of her Rattler.  “Come back here!  You can’t do this to me!” She pulled the trigger of her pistol only for it to spark and water to shoot out of it.  The radio in the Rattler crackled to life, and Buzzer’s voice could be heard.  “Cobra base calling the Baroness!  We just saw that you splashed down!  Do you er… require assistance?”  The Baroness could only give an incoherent scream and throw her pistol at the radio. 

Several hours later, Emma Peel sat in her assigned quarters at the G.I. Joe base, looking over her notes for an upcoming lecture on astrophysics.  She looked up at the sound of a knock on the door.  “Come in.”  The door opened to reveal Steed, still in his Destro suit and helmet, and carrying a bottle of champagne and glasses.  Emma folded her arms in front of her as she raised an eyebrow at her partner.  “You do realize you can take that off now?”  Steed set the champagne and glasses on the table, then carefully loosened the helmet off his head.  “I don’t know.  I’m beginning to develop a taste for it.  What could be better than to be a knight in shining armor?”  Emma popped off the cork of the champagne and poured a glass.  “More like a man sized toaster.” 

“Well, we can’t all look good in disguise as you, Mrs. Peel,” said Steed holding out an expecting hand.  “All too true,” said Emma.  She returned to her seat with the glass and took a sip of her champagne.  Steed looked from the bottle to Emma in disappointment.  “None for me?” 

“In that outfit?” Emma said.  “We wouldn’t want you to rust.”  Steed chuckled as Emma grinned back at him over the lip of her glass.  “Steed, darling.” 

[Venom 2009]

Good Ending. 🙂

[broadwaybeyonder]

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