Match 18155 Aflac Duck vs. Iago (Disney)

[broadwaybeyonder]

In Memory of Gilbert Gottfried. 

Rest In Peace. 

 

The doors of the Sultan’s palace swung open and Iago sped inside, his wings flapping furiously.  “That’s it!  That’s the last straw!” he ranted.  “The next time you geniuses decide to go off another stinkin’ adventure?  Count!  Me!  Out!”  Aladdin, Jasmine, and Genie hurried after Iago, Abu riding on Carpet behind them.  “Come on, Iago!  It all worked out in the end,” Aladdin said. 

“Yes,” said Jasmine.  “The emir of Sitorstan will be willing to negotiate peace with Father, now that his daughter is home safe and sound.”  Iago turned around and glared at Jasmine.  “Yeah, wonderful.  Now they can go to daddy-daughter dances together.  But the thought of that heartfelt reunion doesn’t do much for a parrot when he’s INCHES FROM BEING EATEN BY A… A… WHATEVER THAT THING WAS!” 

Genie magically caused a blackboard with a picture of the creature on it.  He pulled a ruler out of thin air and tapped it on the board as he transformed his clothes into a graduation cap and gown.  “The ‘thing’ was a chimera, class.  Part lion, part goat, part snake, all nasty.  Scariest thing with three heads until “American Idol” gets on the air.”  Iago snatched the ruler from Genie with his talons and swung it at his head.  Genie dispersed the ruler and the rest of the props with a snap of his fingers.  Iago spiraled down and landed with a thud on the marble floor.  He looked up at the others enraged.  “I don’t care how many heads it had!  All of them were trying to eat me!  And what do I get out of it?  Nothing!  Lover boy here gets a thank you smooch from the damsel-in-distress, and I don’t even get two gold coins to rub together!”  Aladdin cleared his throat and Jasmine shook her head.  “Really, Iago.  When are you going to learn there’s more to life than treasure?”  Iago took to air and started off down the hall.  “Hopefully before you lunatics turn me into an epitaph!  Now if you excuse me, I want to be alone.  And if there’s any quests or mad wizards or curses that come up… I’M TAKING A NAP!” 

Abu leapt off Carpet to Aladdin’s shoulder, chattering and shaking his head.  “You’re right, Abu,” said Aladdin.  “I don’t think Iago’s ever gonna change.” 

“He has come a long way though,” said Jasmine.  “We wouldn’t have been able to find that chimera’s cave without his help.  I’m just glad we were able to save the emir’s daughter.” 

“Yeah,” said Aladdin.  “She was pretty.”  Jasmine shot him a look.  Aladdin coughed nervously.  “I mean uh… she was pretty grateful that we… were able to…  save her from that chimera.  Right, guys?”  Abu had already jumped onto Carpet and were speeding off, as Genie transformed into Steve Parry.  “Sorry, kid, you’re on your own.”  Genie apparated back into his lamp as Aladdin looked back to Jasmine.  Aladdin put on his best smile.  The princess folded her arms and sighed.  “The sooner we get married, the better.” 

Iago continued through the corridors of the palace.  Checking one last time to see that no one was behind him, he ducked into a sitting room.  He flew over to a bench, and started pushing the stone seat.  With grunts and groans, he finally moved the stone aside, revealing a secret compartment filled with jewels and gold coins.  Iago snickered as he reached into his plumage and pulled out a necklace lined with emeralds.  “That emir isn’t going to miss this little beauty from that freak show’s stash,” he said as he tossed the necklace with the rest of his loot.  “If I keep this up, I’m gonna have more treasure than the Sultan!  Ha!  All I have to do is keep letting those dopes think I don’t want to go on adventures, and they’ll just drag me along without suspecting a thing!”  Iago ran his wings through the gold coins gleefully.  Then he stopped, looking around to make sure he was alone.  “I better find a new place to hide this dough!  Somewhere it would be safe if something happened to me!  Which in this town is a definite possibility.” 

“AFLAC!”  The sudden cry startled Iago, causing him to trip off the edge of the bench.  He hit the ground and looked up to see a white duck staring down at him.  “Who the heck are you?” Iago asked. 

“AFLAC!” the duck replied. 

“Muzzle it!  You want the whole palace finding my loot?” 

“AFLAC!”

“Listen, flatfoot!  You didn’t see nuthin’, OK?  So why don’t you just waddle off somewhere and we can just keep this between us, alright?” 

The duck shook it’s head, then turned and started waddling toward the door as fast as his feet could carry him.  “AFLAC!  AFLAC!  AFLAC!” 

“Hey! Come back here!”  Iago screeched.  The parrot took to the air in pursuit of the duck.  “When I get my claws on you, you’re a dead duck!  You hear me?!” 

“AFLAAAAAAC!” 

“SHUT UP!” 

OK:

Iago needs to catch the Aflac Duck and subdue him before he alerts Aladdin and co about Iago’s treasure. 

Aflac Duck needs to lead Aladdin and co to Iago’s hiding place to win. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Aflac Duck
Read more about Aflac Duck at Wikipedia
Official Site: Aflac Links: Wikipedia Aflac Wiki ABCNews

Iago (Disney)
Read more about Iago (Disney) at Wikipedia
Official Site: The Walt Disney Company Links: Wikipedia Aladdin Wiki entry Aladdin at IMDB

[SSJRuss]

Nice to see something in honor of the legendary Gilbert. Thank you.

Fun match. I don't think much of Iago as a combatant and I believe Aflac has used some toon force feats that makes him the better of the two.

[Venom 2009]

R.I.P. Gilbert Gottfried. You will be missed.

As for the match, it’s good. I give the setup a 5.0.

[DSkillz]

What's a better CBUB debut for the AFLAC Duck than a Gilbert Gottfried tribute? 

R.I.P., Gottfried, a.k.a. AFLAC Duck, Iago, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Mr. Peabody., etc. 

Good set-up, broadway. Interesting way to match up two famous Gottfried characters. Everyone is pretty much right in character, too, but I'm pretty sure Genie stopped going to the lamp after the first Aladdin film. 

As for the match, though it's not really the Duck's business, I think Iago gets discovered. IIRC, there's one AFLAC commercial ad that shows its mascot catching up to a commercial jet. No way Iago can catch up to him.  

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.60 - DSkillz
5.00 - Macklemore
4.00 - SSJRuss
5.00 - Venom 2009

FPA Calculation:
4 Total Votes cast
18.60 Total Combined Score
18.60 / 4 = 4.65 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Aflac Duck: 3
Iago (Disney): 2

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE. 

The duck scurried down the hall with Iago in hot pursuit.  “AFLAC!  AFLAC!  AFLAC!” 

“Don’t you say anything else?!” Iago screeched.  “I’m gonna make foie gras outta ya, ya big billed jerk!” 

The duck made a sharp turn and came face to face with Rajah.  Jasmine’s tiger looked down on the fowl in surprise.  Iago pointed a wing at the duck.  “Rajah, buddy!  Get this guy!  He’s uh, some evil spirit thing!  Yeah!  He’s here to hurt the princess!”  Rajah’s eyes narrowed and he began to growl.  He raised a paw and extended his claws.  The duck’s eyes widened.  “Aflac?”  The duck scrambled backwards to evade Rajah’s strike.  The tiger sprang into the air and the duck fell down flat.  Rajah collided with Iago and both tumbled to the tiled floor.  “Get off of me, you stupid cat!” Iago yelled from under Rajah.  The duck jumped onto it’s feet and sped off down the hall towards the throne room.  Iago squeezed free from Rajah and took off after the duck, the tiger following suit. 

The Sultan sat on his throne and spoke to Aladdin and Jasmine, who had finished telling him about their latest adventure.  “Well done, both of you!  Once again you have shown great courage.  And I’m sure the peoples of Sitorstan and Agrabah will be forever grateful for your…”  Suddenly Jasmine gave a sudden whoop of surprise.  The Sultan and Aladdin stared in confusion at the princess.  “Daughter?” said the Sultan.  “What was that about?”  Jasmine looked embarrassed from Aladdin to her father.  “I’m sorry, father.  It’s just I felt something pinch my…” 

“AFLAC!”  The three looked down to the duck standing behind Jasmine and flapping it’s wings.  “Well, hey there, fella,” Aladdin chuckled.  “He must have wandered in from the market.” 

“Probably where he learned his manners,” Jasmine huffed. 

“AFLAC!”  The duck walked around Jasmine and started flapping it’s wings more urgently at her and Aladdin.  He pushed it’s head at them, forcing them away from the Sultan’s throne and towards the doors of the throne room.  “Jasmine!” the Sultan shouted, rising from his throne.  “Do see if you can get that bird out of here!” 

“That might be difficult, father,” said Jasmine as they reached the door.  The door swung open and Iago zoomed past them.  Rajah lumbered in at a full run, slid across the floor and collided with the Sultan.  “Where is he?!  Where is he?!” Iago shouted, flying wildly around the room. 

“AFLAC!”  Iago spun around and glared at the duck as it herded Jasmine and Aladdin out the door.  Iago’s eyes went wide in panic.  He dived down in front of the pair, hovering in front of Aladdin’s face.  “Don’t let this guy near ya!  That bird is cursed!  Stay too close to him and your hair will fall out!” 

“Take it easy, Iago,” Aladdin said, pushing the parrot to the side.  “It’s just a bird.  We’re getting it out of the palace.”  Iago gave a sigh of relief.  “Great.  Fantastic.  The sooner the better.  Get this creep outta here.  There’s room for only one bird around here, and that’s me!” 

But as the group walked past the room where Iago’s stash was, the duck came to a halt.  It flapped it’s wings wildly, shaking it’s head.  “AFLAC!  AFLAC! AFLAC!” 

“What’s gotten in to him?” asked Jasmine.  “How should I know?” snapped Iago.  “He’s a duck having a rabid fit!  Get with the evicting already!”  Aladdin reached down and pulled out the lamp.  “Genie, we could use a little help here.”  Aladdin rubbed the lamp and blue smoke started pouring out.  “Nonono!” begged Iago.  “There’s no need for the blue guy!  The duck’s just saying Aflac.  And that stands for… Aladdin’s Fate’s Lousy, Agrabah’s Cooked, or something!” 

The Genie formed out of the smoke wearing headphones and carrying a Casio keyboard.  “Have no fear, Al!  I can see we are having a close encounter of the bird kind here.  Let’s see if I can make contact!”  The Genie started pressing keys on the keyboard, each one producing a series of quack noises.  Iago hid his face behind a wing.  “Oh boy.”  The duck nodded and started quacking back, finishing with a final…

“AFLAC!”  Aladdin and Jasmine turned to Genie.  “Well?  What’s wrong with him?” asked Jasmine.  Genie made the headphones and keyboard disappear and shrugged.  “Hard to tell.  I don’t duck as well as I used to.  But I can make out that there is something in that room there that he wants to show us.” 

Iago sprang in front of the group in desperate attempt to block their path.  “Why don’t we just get this clown out of here?” he ranted.  “There’s nothing to see in there!  Absolutely nothing!”  Aladdin stepped over Iago and into the room.  “Then it won’t take long for us to check out.”  Everyone walked into the chamber, with the Sultan, Rajah, Abu, and Carpet peeking in from outside.  “Well, what do ya know?” Iago said, perching on a statue.  “Nothin’!  The Genie must be on the fritz!” 

“AFLAC!”  Everyone looked at the duck, perched on the stone bench.  Iago swooped toward the bench, claws out.  “YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I’LL…”  Aladdin grabbed Iago and held him tight in his fist.  “That’s enough, Iago!  Genie?  Could you take a look at that bench?”  The duck stepped off and Genie spiraled around the bench before morphing into a weightlifter.  “Time for some heavy lifting!” he grunted.  Genie took hold of the stone seat of the bench and lifted it up, revealing Iago’s loot. 

“That necklace!” Jasmine gasped.  “That’s the one that the emir’s daughter said she lost in the cave!”  Abu jumped on the edge of the bench and pointed at the treasure, chattering to Aladdin.  Aladdin glared at Iago.  “It looks like somebody’s been a busy, little thief!” 

“Oh please!” said Iago, desperately trying to hold on to his bluster.  “Like you have such respect for other people’s property!” 

“Iago!” the Sultan proclaimed.  “Do you realize what the people of Sitorstan would do if they knew someone in my household stole from their princess?!”  Iago chuckled weakly.  “Do they have to know?  Ugh!”  Aladdin’s grip tightened around Iago’s throat as the Sultan continued.  “Iago, you will see to it that that necklace and all that other treasure gets returned to it’s rightful owners.  Honestly, if it wasn’t for that duck leading us here we never would of… Oh.  Where did that bird go?”  Everyone looked around but the duck had seemed to disappear in thin air.  “Now he decides to be quiet,” Iago groaned. 

“That was one strange bird,” said Aladdin.  “No kidding, Al,” said Genie, wearing robes and sporting a beard.  “I was sensing a major disturbance in the Force around that duck.  Either that or that Sitorstan shawarma was backing up on me.”  Aladdin placed Iago on the bench, and the parrot begrudgingly started sorting through his treasure.  “I don’t care!” he grumbled.  “If I never hear that voice again, it’ll be too soon!” 

 

“Now was that rich or what?!”  Under the cover of invisibility, Mr. Mxyzptlk watched Iago and his friends in the chamber.  He turned to look at Gsptlsnz, who was dressed in a red version of Jasmine’s outfit and reapplying her lipstick.  Under her arm, she carried the duck.  “Really, Mxy,” Gsptlsnz said bored.  “Of all the things you could do before you step away from the Third Dimension, you choose playing with a couple of birds?” 

“Aw, come on, Gspy!  You didn’t like it?  I just love watching that little parrot freaking out!  I could listen to that voice all day!” 

“AFLAC!”  Gsptlsnz looked down at the duck.  “Well, I’m happy you enjoyed yourself, dear.  Now it’s time to put this creature back where he belongs.”  Gsptlsnz snapped her fingers to make her lipstick vanish, then snapped her fingers again.  The duck slowly started to fade away.  He looked around bewildered just as it disappeared completely.  “Aflac?”  In a twinkling, the duck was gone.  Gsptlsnz then turned her attention back to Mxyzptlk.  “And now it’s our turn, Mxy.” 

Mr. Mxyzptlk looked around the chamber and sighed.  “Do we really got to go now?  There’s so many more games we could play in this dimension.  So much more fun to be had!”  Gsptlsnz wrapped her arms around Mxyzptlk and gave him a sultry look.  “Honey?  We’re a couple of Fifth Dimensional beings with unlimited cosmic power.  Can you not imagine the kind of fun we could have?  At home?  Together?”  She gave Mxyzptlk a kiss, and the imp’s face lit up.  “Weeeeell, when you put it that way.  Gspy, you’re the greatest!  And we make quite a team, don’t we?”  Gsptlsnz gave the rarest of smiles.  “We sure do, Mxy.  I’ll get dinner started.  Znsltpsg!”  As Mxyzptlk’s wife started fading away back to Fifth Dimension, Mxy gave one last look at the Third Dimensional world.  He tipped his hat and looked to the sky.  “Kyltpzyxm!”  The imp started to disappear, and called out.  “Hey, Gspy!  Speaking of teams, that reminds me of this joke I heard once.  A talent agent is sitting in his office, and this family walks in…”  The sounds of the imp’s laughter silently echoed through the halls of the palace, before fading away for the last time.   

[Venom 2009]

I like the ending. 🙂

Alos, nice that the Aflac Duck got a win on his first match.

[broadwaybeyonder]

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