Match 18649 Ambush Bug vs. Cecil Turtle

[broadwaybeyonder]

Ambush Bug sat on the couch in his one-bedroom apartment.  He lounged in his costume as he munched on a Big Belly Burger and flipped through the channels on television.  Taking a gulp of soda, he looked up at the ceiling. 

“So, you’ve finally got back around to this whole ‘DC vs Looney Tunes’ arc?  I gotta be honest, babe, I was getting a little nervous.  But, hey!  You saw that whole ‘Night Shift’ arc through.  And that Battlesphere thing.  I knew you weren’t done with this!  So, who you got for me?  Bugs Bunny?  I know, I know, he did that thing with the Legion, but you don’t have to let that stop you!  Bug vs Bugs!  What do you say?” 

…

There was a knock on the door of the apartment.  Ambush Bug rolled his eyes and smirked.  “Oh my.  I wonder who that could be?”  He teleported to the door and swung it open.  He looked up and down the hall and saw no one there.  Ambush Bug glanced up annoyed.  “You aren’t trying to be wise guy, are you?  Who did you get me?” 

“Uuuuumm… excuse me, Mister Bug.” 

Ambush Bug looked down to see a turtle standing on it’s hind legs.  The turtle waved at the incredulous Bug.  “Uuuumm… hello, Mister Bug.  I just dropped by… uuuuumm to see if you wanted to have a race.” 

Ambush Bug glared at the heavens.  “Seriously?  Cecil Turtle?  Of all the Looney Tunes you could have given me you gave me Cecil Turtle?!  I mean, sure people call me obscure, but at least the folks at CBUB will know who I am!  You’ll need to put at least two videos of this guy in the comments section!” 

“Uuuuuuuumm, Mister Bug?” 

Ambush Bug broke off from his rant to look back at Cecil.  “It’s okay if you don’t uuuuuuuumm want to race me.  I mean uuuuuuuumm I’d understand if you didn’t want to be the reason uuuuuuumm you hero types lose again.” 

Ambush Bug’s eyes went red with anger.  “Lose?!  Listen, turtle soup, you Tunes are only up 4 to 2!  And it would have been 3-3 if it wasn’t for people thinking a souped-up bunny rabbit could beat Superman’s cousin!” 

“Uuuuumm, sour grapes,” drawled Cecil.  Ambush Bug fumed silently, then took a deep breath and extended his hand.  “Fine.  You’re on!  First one to go from Gotham City to back here wins. Deal?”  Cecil slowly shook Ambush Bug’s hand.  “Uuuuuumm, it’s a bet, Mister Bug.  Uuuuuumm, go ahead and call it.” 

Ambush Bug side eyed the ceiling.  “Just so you know, I’ll play ball, but you put more effort into giving a plot to that lame snowball fight tournament than this.” 

…

The two combatants crouched down at the ready in the hall.  “On your mark!” shouted Ambush Bug.  “Get set!  GO!” 

Cecil Turtle trundled down the hall, leaving Ambush Bug standing smug by the door.  “Easiest W of the year!  I’ll just teleport myself to Gotham, then back to my apartment in time for Wheel of Fortune, and still have an hour to spare before that dumb turtle…” 

Suddenly, Ambush Bug’s costume crackled and sparked.  “YOWCH!  What’s that for?  Alright, enough chit chat.  Time to win this race!”  Ambush Bug teleported only to appear at the end of the hallway.  His costume had developed a malfunction and now would only teleport him within line of sight.  Ambush Bug read the set-up and looked up in disgust.  “Okay, you want to play hardball, fine.  Just don’t blame me if this set-up gets less views than ‘Tigersharks vs Rapture’.” 

Ambush Bug quickly opened the door to the stairwell, and started teleporting after Cecil. 

 

OK:

Ambush Bug’s teleporter will only transport him within line of sight, he cannot just teleport to Gotham and back.  Yeah, thanks for that! 

…

Ambush Bug can use his fourth wall knowledge and Cecil can use his Toon tactics to gain an advantage.  AKA, we can cheat. 

Game On! 

…

Oh, sorry.  Do you want to say it?  Didn’t mean to step on your toes or anything. 

…

game on. 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Ambush Bug
Read more about Ambush Bug at Wikipedia
Official Site: DC Comics Links: Ambush Bug Wikipedia page Pearce Kilgoure's Ambush Bug Toonopedia's Ambush Bug page

Cecil Turtle
Read more about Cecil Turtle at Wikipedia
Official Site: Warner Bros. Links: Wikipedia Looney City Citizens Turtles Who Have Made It Big

[broadwaybeyonder]

Merrie Melodies - Tortoise Beats Hare - video Dailymotion

Looney Tunes | The Hare and Tortoise Re-Race | Classic Cartoon | WB Kids - YouTube

Told you. 

[patrickthekid]

With those limitations, I think the Turtle will find a way to outsmart Ambush Bug.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - StormChaser
5.00 - patrickthekid

FPA Calculation:
2 Total Votes cast
10.00 Total Combined Score
10.00 / 2 = 5.00 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Ambush Bug: 0
Cecil Turtle: 2

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

Hey, guys!  Sorry it’s taken longer than expected with this whole race thing.  But somebody thought they were going to try to be a big shot and limit the range of my suit.  But no biggie. I’ve managed to leap ahead of Cecil and now I’m teleporting up the stairwell of my apartment. 

And one more to get to my door, annnnnnd… bingo!  Your winner is… 

“Uhhhh, hello there, Mr. Bug.” 

Ambush Bug looked open jawed into his apartment at the sight of Cecil Turtle sitting on his couch watching the Late Show.  The turtle offered up a Big Belly Burger bag.  “Uhhhh, saved you some dinner, Mr. Bug.  I figured you’d be hungry after today.  Yuuuup.” 

Ambush Bug stammered and looked around in confusion.  Then he sighed and teleported to the couch next to Cecil.  “Just give me the dang burger,” he grumbled.  Cecil handed over the bag.  “Uhhhh, good race, Mr. Bug.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ambush Bug muttered.  He bit into his burger, slowly accepting his defeat.  And the knowledge that the DC heroes were now 5 to 2 due to his inability to…

“Oh shut up, and go write the Bottom Line for Flint and Spring Heeled Jack, ya jerk!” 

“Uhhhhh, who are you talking to, Mr. Bug?” 

He’s talking to me actually.  Congrats on the win, Cecil. 

“Uhhhhh, thank you very much.” 

“Somebody get me the commission on the phone!”