Match 18760 Pokemon vs. Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

[broadwaybeyonder]

In front of the doors of a dilapidated Pokémon gym, Jesse and James sat at a table in suits looking over a clipboard.  Over the doorway was hung a hastily painted sign: “Sweet 16 Pokémon Tournament!  Cash Prize for Winner!  Qualifying Battles Today!” 

“You do realize it’s your fault, you know?” James sighed.  “MY fault?!” gasped Jesse.  “You and Meowth were the ones who didn’t get our signs back from the printers!” 

“And you were the one who suggested we set up this scam out here, in the middle of nowhere,” whined James.  “Where not only is it hot and smelly, there’s hardly any Pokémon trainers around!” 

Jessie fumed and snatched the clipboard from James hands.  She then clonked him on the back of his head with it.  “Listen, James!” Jessie said through gritted teeth as James held his head.  “I’m not the one who tried to steal a Bulbasaur that just so happened to belong to the chief of police of the last city we were in!  We need to lie low, and get our hands on a Pokémon, fast!” 

“I know, I know!” James moaned.  “I’m sorry, Jesse.  Ow!  Why does evil-doing have to be so painful?” Jesse pointed at the clipboard.  “We already have 15 names.  These silly trainers will go anywhere to battle.  All we need is one more naïve contestant, and we can have 16 Pokémon in our tournament!”  James grinned and put his arms around Jesse.  “And when we have a winner, we can steal that powerful Pokémon to have as our very own!”  Meowth peeked his head out from under the tablecloth to glare at his teammates.  “Will you two knock it off?  I’m trying to take a nap down here!” 

“Um, excuse me?” 

Team Rocket instantly turned to see a boy with grey hair wearing a strange horned hat.  Jesse and James quickly shoved Meowth back under the tablecloth and smiled friendly at the trainer.  “Hello!” Jessie sang.  “Are you here to take part in our tournament today?” 

“If you are we can get you signed up right away!” chimed in James. 

The boy nodded.  “Yes.  Is there still a spot available?”  Jesse and James looked at the clipboard with only 15 of the 32 available spots filled.  “Well, we have been pretty busy, but I’m sure we can squeeze you in,” said James.  “What’s your name?” 

“My name is Tim.” 

“And where are you from, Tim?” 

“Camelot.” 

Jesse and James looked dumbstruck at Tim. 

“Camelot?” 

“Camelot?”

“Camelot?” asked Meowth from under the table.  Jesse and James kicked Meowth to stay quiet then looked back at Tim.  “Camelot, huh?” said Jesse, trying to sound sincere.  “It sounds… charming.” 

Tim shrugged.  “Well, actually it’s rather silly place.  But when I heard you were looking for monsters for your tournament, I knew I wanted to try out.” 

“But we do need to see the Pokémon you are going to be using for the tournament,” said Jesse.  “You do have it with you?”  The boy pulled out a Poke Ball and held it out for Team Rocket to see.  “I certainly do!  The most feared creature in all the land.  Countless foes have fallen to it’s might!”  James clung to Jesse’s arm.  “It sounds really scary!” 

“And just like the kind of Pokémon we’re looking for!” said Jesse.  “Let’s take a look at it!”  Tim hurled his Poke Ball at the table.  “I choose you!”  Team Rocket shielded their eyes as the Poke Ball opened and red light shot out of it.  When the light had faded, Jesse and James looked down at the table to see…

“A bunny rabbit?” Jesse asked in disbelief.  The white rabbit sat in front of the pair as Tim gazed proudly at it.  “Ooh, it’s so cute!” cooed James.  “But it’s not a Pokémon!” said Jesse.  “But I thought this was a tournament for monsters!” said Tim.  “And there is no monster more monstrous than the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog!” 

“I don’t care if it’s the Killer Rabbit from Cairo Bannon!” shouted Jesse.  “It’s not a Pokemon, it’s a bunny rabbit!”  Tim shushed Jesse and pointed at the rabbit.  “Shh!  Please, don’t let him hear you say that!  He’s got a vicious streak a mile wide!” 

“I’ll show you vicious if you keep wasting our time, you little…”  James covered Jesse’s mouth with his hand.  “Could you excuse us for a moment?”  James pulled Jesse underneath the table with Meowth.  “This kid is nuts!” said Meowth.  “I agree,” huffed Jesse.  “The idea, bringing a bunny rabbit to a Pokémon tournament!” 

“But maybe we could let them compete anyway?” asked James.  Jesse raised an eyebrow at James.  “Did I hit you too hard with that clipboard?” 

“No, Jesse.  But we need a 16^th Pokémon for this tournament.  If this fuzzy thing is as dangerous as Tim says, he might be useful for us.” 

“And if he isn’t,” continued Meowth.  “At least he won’t be around long.” 

“But it clearly isn’t a Pokémon!” snapped Jesse. 

“Oh, people are finding new types of Pokémon all the time!” said James.  “We’ll just say that it’s some rare kind of Pokémon that has just been discovered and the paying customers will buy it!”  Jessie thought for a moment, then hugged James.  “Oh, James!  That’s brilliant!”  James shrugged.  “What can I say?  I’m a genius!” 

“Um, are you alright down there?”  Team Rocket collectively banged their hands on the table as they tried to get out from under it.  Jesse offered up an application form to Tim.   “We’ve talked it over, and we decided that you and your… monster will be more than welcome in our tournament!” 

“Just fill out these forms and pay your P30 application fee and you’re all set!” said James. 

That evening, the gym had begun to fill up with spectators.  Sitting on folded open risers they sat around the rectangular battlefield and chatted in excitement.  James stood on the field in a referee shirt and waved to the crowd.  “Welcome one and all!  It’s time for our tournament to begin!  We were planning on having some qualifying rounds tonight, but since our 16 competitors are such amazing trainers, we are going straight to Sweet 16 tonight!”  The crowd cheered as James pulled out a piece of paper and read off it.  “And for our first match up, from Saffron City, Polly!”  A girl in pigtails and dressed in a green pantsuit jogged onto the battlefield and waved to the crowd.  James glanced down at his paper and gulped.  “And her opponent, from… Camelot, Tim!”  There was an awkward applause as the strange boy strode to his position.  Jesse and Meowth peeked out from behind a curtain at the two competitors.  “I hope this Polly ends this quick, so we can get out to some real competition!” muttered Jesse.  “Yeah!” said Meowth.  “Rabbit stew is on the menu tonight!” 

“Trainers ready?” asked James grandly.  Dolly and Tim nodded and James threw his arms in the air.  “Begin!” 

Polly reached into her purse, pulled out a Poke Ball and threw it.  “Let’s start this tournament off with a win!  Vulpix!  I choose you!”  The six tailed Pokémon emerged from the Poke Ball and stood at the ready.  Tim tossed his Poke Ball into the air.  “Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog!  I choose you!”  The crowd laughed at the sight of the rabbit lazily hopping onto the battlefield.  Polly smirked.  “Your Pokémon may be cute, but don’t think that’ll make me go easy on you!  Vulpix!  Quick attack!” 

“Vul!”  The Vulpix charged at the rabbit as James covered his eyes.  “I can’t look!”  

“Killer Rabbit!  Pounce!” shouted Tim.  The rabbit leapt into the air just as the Vulpix was on top of him.  The Vulpix looked up to see the rabbit come crashing down on it.  “Now use Bite!” called Tim.  The Killer Rabbit opened it’s mouth and chomped down on the Vulpix.  The crowd gasped in shock as blood spurted out of the fox Pokémon’s neck.  “VULPIX!” Polly wailed.  The Killer Rabbit let go of it’s grip, leaving the Vulpix bloody and dazed.  James looked on in amazement before pulling himself together and raised his arms to the crowd.  “Vulpix is unable to battle.  Killer Rabbit wins!”  There was a tepid applause from the crowd as Jesse smiled in approval.  “Well, well.  That bunny isn’t looking funny anymore.  In fact, if it wins this tournament, it may be just the kind of Pokémon we were looking for.  What do you think, Meowth?”  Meowth was looking green at the sight of Polly nursing her mortally wounded Vulpix.  “I.. think I need to lie down for a while.  I have a feeling this night is going to be pretty… messy.” 

 

OK:

The Killer Rabbit has already advanced to round 2.  His potential opponents are:

                Charmander

                Squirtle

                Bulbasaur

                Pikachu (Not Ash’s)

                Zubat

                Raticate

                Mankey

If the Killer Rabbit is able to defeat three Pokémon in the tournament, he wins. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Pokemon
Read more about Pokemon at Wikipedia
Official Site: Nintendo Links: Wikipedia Entry Pokemopolis! Official Pokemon Site

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
Read more about Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog at Wikipedia
Official Site: Monty Python Links: Killer Rabbit's Wiki Article Badass of the Week Killer Rabbit in Action

[Venom 2009]

Good Match! I give the setup a 5.0.

I think the rabbit got this since he can move very fast.

This maybe off topic, but here is some Pokemon news. After 25 years, Ash Ketchum will be leaving the Pokemon anime. While I have stop watching Pokemon in a long time, it's sad to know that Ash is going to be gone. But hey, from what I heard, Ash is now a Pokemon Master.

[IKA]

I love the story, though I do wish there was some explosions from Tim. 

 

I'm voting the Rabbit. 

[Boratz]

Great ser up and Match

I have to go with the Killer Rabbit on this one. Unless the Pokémon have a Holy hand grenade 

[JohnnyChany]

Great matchup Broadway. A really funny visual. I'm throwing my vote behind the killer rabbit as well.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.50 - JohnnyChany
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.40 - Boratz
5.00 - StormChaser
4.50 - IKA

FPA Calculation:
5 Total Votes cast
23.40 Total Combined Score
23.40 / 5 = 4.68 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Pokemon: 0
Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog: 5

[IKA]

It's becoming more and more uncommon for everyone who votes to also rate. Speaks volumes of the work, good job.

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

It had come down to the finals, and things were not looking well for Tim and his Rabbit.  The Rabbit had managed to devour Bulbasaur’s leaves, and then chased Mankey out of the building.  But now he was facing his toughest opponent: Pikachu. 

Pikachu’s trainer Craig shouted instructions as Pikachu used Agility to run circles around the Killer Rabbit.  “Keep it up, Pikachu!  Don’t let it get too close!” 

“Pika pi!” squeaked Pikachu. 

“All you speed will be for naught!” proclaimed Tim.  “Killer Rabbit!  Use Pounce!” 

“Dodge it!” shouted Craig. 

The Killer Rabbit sprang at his opponent, only for Pikachu leap out of the way.  “Now use Iron Tail!” called Craig.  Pikachu’s tail began to glow as it jumped into the air and brought it crashing down on the Killer Rabbit.  The crowd gasped as the Rabbit was sent crashing to the ground in front of Tim. 

Jessie and Meowth continued looking on from behind the curtain as James nervously watched from the sidelines.  “Maybe this Rabbit has a weakness for Electric type Pokémon,” said Jessie.  “I knew that long eared lug wouldn’t keep this up,” grumbled Meowth. 

“Come on, Killer Rabbit!” urged Tim.  “I know you still have it in you!” 

“Pikachu!” called Craig.  “Hit ‘em with Iron Tail again!” 

“Pikaaaaa CHU!”

Pikachu swung his tail but this time the Rabbit was able to jump over the attack. 

“Quick, switch to Thunderbolt! Now!” 

“Use Bite and finish this fight!” 

“Piiiiiiii kaaaaa CHUUUUUUUUUU!” 

With a crackle of electricity, the entire building was enveloped in an explosion of light.  Everyone shielded their eyes until the burst of energy had subsided.  But when the audience’s vision had cleared they saw Tim’s Killer Rabbit with Pikachu’s tail in his mouth.  With a vicious yank, the Rabbit pulled the tail off of Pikachu’s body.  Pikachu was left moaning in agony as James struggled to lift his jaw off the floor.  He looked at Jessie and Meowth, who both gestured to him to say something.  James cleared his throat and raised his hands to the crowd.  “Pikachu… is unable to continue.  Your winner is the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and trainer Tim!” 

There was a tepid applause as Craig recalled Pikachu into it’s Pokeball and Tim lifted the Killer Rabbit into his arms.  “I knew you could do it!  We’ve won the tournament!” 

But then the lights went out in the building.  People murmured in confusion until three spotlights came on and shined down on Jessie, James, and Meowth. 

Jessie: Prepare for trouble!  You think you’ve won? 

James: Well make it double, cuz we’ve just begun! 

Jessie: To protect the world from devastation! 

James: To unite all peoples within our nation! 

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love! 

James: To extend our reach to the stars above! 

Jessie: Jessie! 

James: James! 

Meowth: And Meowth are our names! 

Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light! 

James: Surrender now or prepare to…

“Hold it right there!”  Team Rocket looked annoyed at the man and woman standing next to Tim.  “And just who the heck are you supposed to be?” asked Meowth.  The woman pulled out a badge.  “Pokémon Rangers!  And we are here to place you under arrest for running an illegal tournament not cleared by the Pokémon League!”  Jessie and James shared a nervous laugh.  “Really, that’s absurd!  We sent our paperwork in the mail weeks ago!” 

“Don’t play games with us, Jessie!” barked the male Ranger.  “You are coming with us!” 

“Ha!” scoffed James, trying to sound confident.  “Nothing will stop us from getting our hands on that Rabbit!” 

“Oh, I can think of something!” said Tim.  He pulled out another slightly larger Pokeball.  “I have more monsters to show!  And since you liked my Killer Rabbit so much… Black Beast of Argh!  I choose you!” 

To Team Rocket’s terror, out of the Pokeball emerged the largest monster they had ever seen.  A giant, green monstrosity with countless eyes and a hungry mouth.  It roared at the hapless trio, who could only scream in response. 

“Time to live and fight another day!” said Jessie. 

“In other words?” asked James. 

“RUN AWAY!” screamed Meowth. 

The Black Beast of Argh chased Team Rocket around the building until Tim rolled up his sleeves.  “If you don’t like my monsters, maybe you’ll get a bang out of this!”  Tim forcefully pointed a finger at Team Rocket and suddenly the ground beneath them exploded.  The three were sent crashing out through the ceiling and into the night sky.  “Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!” they wailed, before disappearing into the distance. 

The two Rangers looked on in confusion at Tim’s monsters.  “These are certainly… unique Pokémon you have here,” the woman said.  “Perhaps you should come along with us,” offered the man.  “There might be a place for you with the Rangers.” 

“Thanks,” said Tim, as he recalled the Rabbit and the Beast to their Pokeballs.  “I’ll have to think it over.  I don’t necessarily want to go back to Camelot.  It is a silly place.”  The crowd slowly filtered out of the makeshift arena as the Rangers ushered Tim out.  “But you must remember, son,” said the man.  “There is more to being a Ranger than fighting.  You have to use your brains.” 

“Oh, I have those, sir,” said Tim as they walked out the door.  “I know all sorts of things.  For instance, do you know the airspeed velocity of unladen Spearow?”