Match 18873 Harley Quinn vs. Audrey 2

[broadwaybeyonder]

The bell above the door of the flower shop rang and the nerdy-looking, young man in glasses and suspenders brushed off his buttoned shirt and stood up straight to welcome his customer.  His jaw dropped at the sight of an attractive woman with blond hair in pigtails, her face painted white, wearing a revealing red and black leather outfit and carrying a gym bag.  The clerk gulped as Harley Quinn waved cheerfully at him.  “Hey, Clyde!  How’s business today?”  The man stammered as he tried to collect his senses.  “Uh uh you you you you’re Harley Quinn!” 

“The one and only!” Harley said, striding between the displays of plants.  “But you can call me Harley!  Everyone does!” 

“I I I I…”

Harley leaned over a brightly colored plant, sniffed it, then pulled a face.  “Yech!  Stinkeroonie!  Now you don’t have to be all jumpy!  I’m not here to hold you up or anythin’!  I’m wanting to buy something!” 

“Bu bu buy?” 

Harley waved.  “Okay, bye bye to you too!”  Harley turned and walked to the door, before looking over her shoulder with a grin at the still dumbstruck clerk.  “Get it?  Buy buy to you?  Sheesh, you’re pretty nervous for a guy who hangs around flowers all day.” 

The clerk finally managed to get a hold of himself, and pointed to the ‘Closed’ sign hanging in the window.  “I I I’m sorry, Miss Quinn.” 

“Ah ah ah!  Harley!” 

“Er, Harley.  But the shop is closed for renovations today.  I’m just supposed to be checking inventory.  If my boss found out about this he would kill me!” 

Harley’s gaze hardened as she drew nearer to the counter.  She stood across from the clerk, her face inches from his.  “He isn’t the only one who would do that, flower boy.”  The clerk froze as Harley fixed him with her glare, before she suddenly burst out laughing.  “Hahaha!  Come on, pal.  Lighten up!  Like I would kill somebody this close to Valentine’s Day!” 

“Va… Valentine’s Day?” 

Harley hopped onto the counted and sat on it as she explained.  “Yeah!  That’s the reason I’m here!  I have this friend, see.  And she’s really into plants.  I mean, reeeeally into plants.” 

“You… you mean Poison Ivy?” 

“Ha!  Somebody’s been reading the gossip rags!  Yeah, Red and me have been pals for a long time, and to commemorate our friendship, I decided to give her a brand new plant for her greenhouse.” 

The clerk looked nervously at the window.  “I… I don’t know.”  Harley gently turned the clerk’s face back to her and brushed his cheek.  “Aw, come on, be a pal!  You show me the best plants you got, and I’ll pay you double for the one I want.  Your boss wouldn’t have a problem with that, would he?” 

The clerk’s face instantly lit up, especially when he glanced down at the gym bag that Harley had left open on the floor.  It in were multiple stacks of hundred-dollar bills. 

For the next hour, Harley sat in a chair and watched with increasing boredom as the clerk brought out the flower shops best flora. 

“No.  Nope.  No way.  Too stinky!  Too plain.  Too small.  Too nasty!  Too spiky!” 

Finally, the clerk leaned exhausted against the counter as Harley looked absent mindedly around the shop.  “Miss Quinn, er, Harley.  I’ve shown you every flower and shrub we have in stock.  Just what is it are you looking for?” 

“Something better than the stuff you’ve shown me, that’s for sure!  I want to give Red something really special!” 

Suddenly Harley’s eyes widened as she looked at a door at the back of the shop that had been padlocked shut.  “Hey!  What’s in there?”  The clerk bolted in front of Harley and blocked the door with his body.  “Nothing!  Er, nothing!  It’s just the basement!  Where we… keep… things.”  Harley grinned and sprang out of her chair.  “’Things’, huh?  Like the extra expensive, extra special flowers?” 

“No!  I assure you, there is nothing valuable down there!” 

“Then why all the locks?  Open it up!  I want to see what you got!” 

“Well, umm.  You see, the thing is, ummm.  I don’t have the key!  Right!  That’s it!  My boss the key.  So I can’t get in.  Nope.  Not without a key.” 

Harley reached into the gym bag, and pulled out a hammer that telescoped out into a giant size.  “Don’t worry, flower boy.  I got my own key!”  Before the clerk could say anything, Harley swung the hammer and smashed the door into splinters.  The clerk looked through the doorway with his hand over his mouth in horror as Harley winked at him.  “And when I said key, I meant a giant hammer!  Now come on!  Show me what you’re hiding down here!”  The clerk sighed and followed after Harley as she walked into the dimly lit basement. 

“Phew!  Sure is toasty in here!” said Harley walking down the stairs.  “I’m telling you, Miss Quinn, there isn’t anything down here!” pleaded the clerk.  “Please, just come back upstairs!  I just remember some gardenias that I think your friend would love!” 

“Not before I see whatcha got down hURGH!” 

Harley lurched forward and tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs.  The clerk hurried down to where she had faceplanted on the concrete floor.  “Harley!  Are you alright?” 

“Me?  Oh I’m fine!” Harley groaned.  “Not the first time I’ve been hit on the head, you know.  You shouldn’t leave hoses lying around like that.  I might have broken my…” 

Harley stopped talking as her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she could see what was on the stairwell that had tripped her.  It wasn’t a watering hose, but a large, green vine with spikes.  Harley’s gaze followed the vine back to it’s source, until she finally saw an enormous plant.  It filled the entire corner of the basement and looked like a mix between a Venus flytrap and an avocado.  It was covered in leaves and vines, and it slowly raised and lowered it’s ‘head’ like it was sleeping. 

“Holy Toledo!” Harley shouted.  “Look at the size of that thing!”  The clerk shushed Harley urgently.  “Please, Miss Quinn!  Not so loud!  You need to leave now!  Quickly!  While you still have a chance!” 

“Slow your role, buster!  This beauty is just the thing I’ve been looking for!  Ivy would plotz if she saw it!  The best Valentine’s Day gift ever!” 

“No no no, Miss Quinn!  I’ll give you any plant you want!  Free!  No charge!  Just please come with me before it’s too late!” 

“What’s the matter with you?  I want that plant!  And I’ve got the money to pay for it!  So what do ya say?  $100k?  $200k?  What do I have to do to get that plant?” 

“FEED ME!” 

Harley pulled a face at the clerk.  “Are you asking me out to dinner or somethin’?”  The clerk just stared at the plant behind Harley as it rose to the ceiling, it’s mouth opening to reveal rows of sharp teeth.  Harley turned and saw the plant and winced.  “Oy.” 

“WELL, WELL, WELL!  YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF, KRELLBORN,” Audrey II cackled.  “NOT ONLY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME SOME GRUB, BUT SHE LOOKS DELICIOUS TOO!” 

“Excuse me?!” said Harley, turning and glaring at Krellborn.  “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he whimpered.  “I have to keep feeding Audrey II.  It’s promised me everything I ever wanted, as long as I keep giving it what it needs to grow.” 

“And what is that supposed to be?” asked Harley, one hand reaching into the gym bag. 

“BLOOD!  SWEET, SQUISHY, FRESH BLOOD!” Audrey II howled.  “AND TONIGHT, HONEY, IT’S YOURS!” 

Audrey II’s vines shot towards Harley, who pulled out a baseball bat from the gym bag and swatted them away.  “Think again, Jolly Green!” she snarled.  “Time to do a little pruning!” 

Seymour Krellborn bolted up the stairs to the sounds of Harley doing battle with Audrey II. 

OK:

Audrey II is as big as he is in the video below. 

Harley has all her Injustice weapons and animated series gear. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Harley Quinn
Read more about Harley Quinn at Wikipedia
Official Site: DC Comics Links: Wikipedia Entry Harley's Haven Gotham Girls website

Audrey 2
Read more about Audrey 2 at Wikipedia
Official Site: Warner Bros. Links: short Wikipedia Entry IMDB's Little Shop of Horrors entry Makers of Audrey 2 Puppets (for the play

[broadwaybeyonder]

Little Shop Of Horrors - Mean Green Mother From Outer Space - YouTube

 

[Venom 2009]

I like the match and give the setup a 5.0.

[patrickthekid]

If we're being honest, Harley is used to taking care of unsavory plants.

[DSkillz]

Another good set-up, broadway. Been hearing about Little Shop of Horrors most for much of my life, but I've never sat down and watched it. The main things I know about it are Audrey II's voiced by the Four Tops' Levi Stubbs (who went on to voice Mother Brain), and co-starred Ticha Campbell and Tichina Arnold (her debut) of Martin fame. 

Anyways, I've been watching some of Harley Quinn series recently and this could very well work as one of its episodes. In fact, as alluded to, Harley is used to dealing with talking plants and the like: 

I don't think Audrey's nearly as friendly as Frank, so Harley would end up battling it out until she either managed to kill the thing or fled to alert Poison Ivy. Not sure if the latter would count as a win? 

A Pamela/Audrey confrontation would also be very interesting, especially in the context of the series.  

[broadwaybeyonder]

6 hours ago, DSkillz said:

Another good set-up, broadway. Been hearing about Little Shop of Horrors most for much of my life, but I've never sat down and watched it. The main things I know about it are Audrey II's voiced by the Four Tops' Levi Stubbs (who went on to voice Mother Brain), and co-starred Ticha Campbell and Tichina Arnold (her debut) of Martin fame. 

Anyways, I've been watching some of Harley Quinn series recently and this could very well work as one of its episodes. In fact, as alluded to, Harley is used to dealing with talking plants and the like: 

I don't think Audrey's nearly as friendly as Frank, so Harley would end up battling it out until she either managed to kill the thing or fled to alert Poison Ivy. Not sure if the latter would count as a win? 

A Pamela/Audrey confrontation would also be very interesting, especially in the context of the series.  

Thanks, @DSkillz!  I'm glad to see this match up getting more attention.  As far as Ivy is concerned, I would say that Harley would need to beat Audrey II on her own.  

[JohnnyChany]

Another superb Valentine's Day set up Broadway. A surprisingly natural confrontation given the circumstances. This would be very entertaining to see especially if Audrey 2 threatens Harley through song, and 100% Harley would be into it. I think in the end, she has the experience and the tools to trim down the alien.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - JohnnyChany
4.70 - DSkillz
5.00 - StormChaser
5.00 - patrickthekid
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.90 - Boratz

FPA Calculation:
6 Total Votes cast
29.60 Total Combined Score
29.60 / 6 = 4.93 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Harley Quinn: 4
Audrey 2: 2

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

Harley dodged as giant vines burst out from the concrete underfoot.  She swung her hammer and batted the spike covered greenery away as Audrey II laughed hungrily.  “GIVE IT UP, CLOWN GIRL!  THERE’S NOTHIN’ YOU CAN DO THAT CAN HURT ME!” 

“Fine time for me to leave the weed wacker at home,” grumbled Harley as she grabbed a pair of shears off a table and started slashing at Audrey II. 

“OOH!  OWIE!  STOP THAT HURTS!”  Audrey II said in fake alarm.  “PLEASE!  YOU BETTER HAVE SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT IF YOU WANT TO TRY TO MAKE THIS A FIGHT!” Three vines shot towards Harley who nimbly cartwheeled out of the way.  As Harley continued to battle off the vines, Audrey II began to sing. 

You got nothin’ on me, clown! 

So how about you stop messin’ around? 

You’ll be buried like me 6 feet in the ground! 

You’re gonna get it! 

 

Shame to let that blood go to waste,

In a girl with goofy makeup over her face! 

Wanna find out just how clowns taste! 

You’re gonna get it! 

 

I’m a plant from outer space! 

You can’t escape your doom! 

I’ll crush you flat and then the Bat

Will help my flowers blooooom! 

 

So don’t waste my time trying act rude! 

In Gotham City I’m the baddest dude! 

And I’m about done playing with my food! 

You’re gonna get it! 

As Audrey II sang, a vine snagged Harley’s ankle and yanked to the ground.  She kicked the vine and strained to grab something out of the gym bag.  Soon more vines wrapped around her legs and hoisted Harley into the air upside down in front of Audrey II.  The plant cackled as Harley glared at him.  “Of all the ways I thought I was gonna get it,” said Harley.  “I didn’t think it was going to be being fed to a talking plant.” 

“LIFE’S FULL OF SURPRISES, LADY!” Audrey II howled.  “NOW JUST RELAX!  AND KNOW THAT WITH JUST A FEW MORE UNWILLING VOLUNTEERS, I’LL BE BIG ENOUGH TO BLOW THIS DUMP, AND THEN NOBODY IN THIS BURG WILL BE SAFE!  AND THEN?  HA!  THE WORLD WILL BE MY GARDEN!  SO LONG, CLOWN GIRL!” 

Audrey II drew it’s vines and Harley closer to it’s gaping jaws.  “Wait!” Harley shouted.  “That song you were singing?  You were saying you wanted to know how clowns tasted?”  Audrey II paused and crinkled it’s pod in annoyance.  “AND I’M GOING TO FIND OUT AS SOON AS YOU SHUT UP!” 

“Okay, but I should warn you about clowns.”  Harley raised the grenade she had pulled out of the gym bag and grinned dangerously.  “We taste funny.” 

Harley flicked the pin out of the grenade and hurled it into Audrey II’s open mouth.  Upstairs Seymour heard and felt the explosion from the basement.  He dropped to the floor and covered his head as pots fell and smashed next to him.  When the rumbling had stopped, Seymour peeked up at the doorway leading to the stairwell.  He creeped over and tiptoed down the stairs to find Harley Quinn, standing in a pile of vines, leaves, and green sap.  “Thanks for all the help, creep,” Harley snarked. 

“Please, Harley!” 

“Miss Quinn.” 

“I didn’t want you to get eaten!  Honest!  I warned you not to go in there!  I had to keep feeding Audrey II!  I had to!  Please!  I’ll do anything to make up for it!  Anything!” 

Harley tilted her head in thought.  “Anything?” 

 

Poison Ivy stood in her greenhouse hidden outside of Gotham City in stunned disbelief.  The greenhouse was now completely filled with dozens and dozens of new plants.  “Harl, you really shouldn’t have!” she said, Harley sitting on top of a table.  “Some of these specimens are so rare!  Where did you steal all of these?” 

“Actually, Red, I didn’t steal any of ‘em!” 

Ivy raised an eyebrow.  “Don’t tell me you paid for them all?” 

“Ha!  What do you think I am, crazy or somethin’?”  Harley brushed a couple of leaves off her shoulder and put her arm around Ivy.  “Let’s just say the guy was in a real generous mood and let me have ‘em for free!  I knew you’d like ‘em!” 

“I… I don’t know what to say!” 

Harley pulled in Ivy for a hug.  “Just say ‘Happy Valentine's Day’, Red!”  Ivy stood unsure for a moment, then smiled and returned the hug.  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Harley.” 

As the two Gotham Girl’s continued their embrace, they failed to notice where the Audrey II leaves that Harley had brushed off had landed.  The leaves lay in the soil for a moment, before roots sprung from them and started burrowing into the ground.  Slowly the leaves began to come together to form a small, teeth-filled mouth.