Match 19322 Bulk and Skull vs. The Three Stooges

[broadwaybeyonder]

In Ms. Appleby’s classroom in Angel Grove High School, Jason and the other Power Rangers sat with their fellow classmates in nervous anticipation.  Principal Caplan stood before the class with arms folded.  “Well, students, I have some good news for you before you begin your studies today.  Ms. Appleby called me yesterday to let you know that she’s doing just fine.  Thankfully that tumble down the school steps wasn’t as injurious as the doctors feared, and she should be back on the job some time within the next few weeks.”  There was a cheer and some applause from the students. 

“For the time being,” Principal Caplan went on.  “You will be having a substitute teacher fill in for Ms. Appleby while she’s recovering.  Unfortunately, that teacher appears to be running late this morning, so I shall be filling in for them until they get here.  So, if you will please open your textbooks to page…” 

There was a sudden banging at the door.  Caplan shot an accusatory look at the students.  “Did one of you children look this door?” 

“Nobody did, Mr. Caplan,” said Billy. 

“Maybe it got stuck,” offered Kimberly. 

Caplan sighed, strode over to the door, and gave the handle a sharp tug.  The door instantly swung open, and three men fell over each other into the classroom.  They each were dressed in graduation caps and gowns, which they struggled to untangle themselves from to stand up.  The students could only look on with a mix of shock and amusement as the man with the bowl cut whirled on the other two.    

“Spread out!” snapped Moe.  “Why don’t you idiots look where you’re going?” 

“I was, Moe,” said Curly.  “I was going through the door and to the floor!” 

“Aw, a wise guy, eh?”  Moe gave a slap to Curly and Larry jumped in between them.  “Hey, there’s no need to be rough on him!” 

“You mind your own business!”  Moe went for an eye poke on Larry, only for Curly to catch his arm as he pulled back.  “Nyuck nyuck nyuck!” Curly chortled.  “Outsmarted ‘em that time!”  Moe gave a deceptively cheerful smile.  “Oh you want something that smarts, do ya?”  Moe yanked his arm back sending his elbow into Curly’s face, then finished by delivering the eye poke to Larry. 

“Gentlemen, please!” Caplan shouted as some of the students started laughing.  “Would you be so kind as to explain what you’re doing in my school?”  The Three Stooges stood to attention and raised their right hands in the Boy Scout salute.  “We are your substitute teachers,” they said in unison. 

“But there must be some mistake,” said Caplan.   “I requested only one substitute teacher for this class.”

“You must’ve filled it out in triplicate!” said Larry.  “You moron, he filled it out in the school!” barked Moe, punctuating his words with a yank to Larry’s nose. 

“Well,” said Caplan, desperately trying to regain control.  “I suppose we’ll just have to make the best of it.  I trust you all have been properly trained in education.  Do you know grammar?” 

“Certainly!” said Curly.  “Grammar is married to Grampa!” 

“No, no no!” said Caplan.  “Not grandma!  Grammar!  For example, how would you spell inconsequential?” 

“Wrong every time!  Nyuck nyuck nyuck!”  Moe yanked on Larry’s ear.  “You trying to louse this job up for all of us, peabrain?!” 

“Oh, don’t mind him, boss,” said Larry.  “I know education.  I got a free ride to Yale!” 

“A free ride to Yale?  How did you do that?” 

“Hitchhiked!”  Larry laughed loudly, only stopping when Moe delivered a punch to the gut to him and Larry. 

Trini could only sit in her seat in disbelief at the scene before her.  “These guys are crazy!” 

“Yeah!” laughed Zack.  “They’re great!” 

“Can you gentlemen at least call the roll?!” yelled Caplan, sweat causing his toupee to start to slip loose.  “Sure thing, captain,” said Larry.  He scrambled onto the teacher’s desk and called out.  “Roll!  Here, roll!  Come here, roll!”  The class roared with laughter as Moe swung his arm and swept Larry’s legs out from under him.  He smashed through the desk and looked up in confusion at the furious Moe.  “You bozo!  He means we need to find out who’s here!” 

“Oh, that’s easy!” said Curly.  He stepped toward the class and waved.  “Okay, boys and girls!  Anyone who isn’t here, raise your hands!”  There were some looks of confusion and giggles from the students as Moe whirled on Curly.  “How they supposed to raise their hands if they ain’t here, stupid?” 

“Oooooh!” said Curly.  “I got ya!  Okay, boys and girls!  Anyone who isn’t here, don’t raise your hands!  Nyuck nyuck nyAHHH!” 

As Moe fish hooked Curly’s ear and Caplan struggled in vain to keep the peace, Bulk and Skull peeked around the doorframe into the classroom.  “Now this is just perfect!” said Bulk.  “With everybody watching those idiots, we can sneak in late and not get noticed!”  Skull nodded and grinned.  “Yeah!  They won’t even notice you, Bulk!  And that’s sayin’ something!  Hahaha!”  Skull’s piercing laughing died on his lips from Bulk’s glare.  He shoved Skull ahead.  “Just move, dope!” 

Bulk and Skull tiptoed into the classroom as Moe delivered a final slap to Larry and Curly.  “Now enough of this foolin’ around!”  Caplan shoved a paper with students’ names written on it.  “Just call the names and get on with it!”  The Stooges gathered around the paper, and Moe poked his head up to call the names. 

“Zack Taylor?” 

“I’m here!” 

“Kimberly Hart?” 

“Here!” 

“Angela Thompson?” 

“Here!” 

“Eugene Skullovich?” 

Without even thinking, Skull raised his hand.  “Here, teach!”  Bulk froze halfway to his seat and stared in disbelief at his friend’s stupidity. 

“Bulkmeir!  Skullovitch!” barked Caplan.  “What are you doing out of your seats?” 

“Uh, just stretching our legs, sir,” said Bulk. 

“Yeah!” said Skull.  “Exercise is good for you!” 

Caplan turned to address the Stooges.  “It appears you have a couple of tardy students.  And it’s not their first time either.  What would you say would be an appropriate punishment?”  A dangerous glint came to the Stooges eyes. 

“Hang ‘em by their thumbs!” said Moe. 

“Lock ‘em in the stockade with no bread and water!” said Larry. 

“Send them to their room!” said Curly. 

Caplan shook his head in exasperation.  “How about something a little less extreme?”  The Stooges thought for a moment, then Larry snapped his fingers.  “Hey!  When I was in school and did something bad, my teacher made me clean the erasers!” 

“Say, good idea, porcupine,” said Moe.  He pointed at Bulk and Skull.  “Okay, you two.  Those erasers won’t clean themselves, so hop to it!”  Bulk and Skull looked unimpressed.  “Are you kidding?” asked Bulk.  “It’s either cleaning erasers or spending the next week in detention after school,” threatened Caplan.  Bulk grumbled to himself then grabbed Skull by his collar and dragged him to the blackboard to collect the erasers.  “Okay,” said Moe to the class.  “With all that out of way, let’s get on with the lesson.  Today we are going to talk about the War of 1812.” 

“Oh I know that one!” said Larry.  “Mrs. Fleegle was yelling at Mr. Fleegle cuz he’d been staying at work late, and she thought it was because him and his secretary were…”  Moe swatted Larry on the back of the head.  “You maroon!  That didn’t happen in 1812!” 

“It sure did!  I was in apartment 1814 and heard the whole thing!” 

Bulk shot Skull a dirty look as the class continued laughing at the Stooges antics.  “You just had to open your big mouth!” 

“Sorry, Bulk.  Do we really have to clean these erasers?” 

“Of course not, numbskull!  I got an idea to get us out of here!  Hold that eraser and do as I do!”  Bulk turned around and called out.  “Mr. Caplan!  Sir!  I think there’s something wrong with this eraser!” 

“What on earth are you talking about, Bulkmeir?” 

“Skull’s found something in the eraser!  See for yourself!”  Caplan facepalmed as Moe shoved Curly forward.  “You go over there and see what the boy hippopotamus over there is talking about!”  

“Sure thing, Moe!”  Curly marched over to Bulk and Skull, Skull holding the eraser cloth up.  “What can I do for you, boys?” 

“Just look at this eraser, teach.  There’s something in it.”  Curly dutifully bent over the eraser and looked it up and down.  “I don’t see nuthin’!” 

“You got to look closer.  Right, Skull?”  Skull looked hopelessly lost but nodded when he saw a scowl from Bulk.  “Oh, yeah!  Closer!”  Curly shrugged and leaned down closer to the eraser, his nose almost touching the cloth.  Bulk then reached over and hit Skull’s hand, sending the eraser right into Curly’s face.  The Stooge spluttered and coughed as chalkboard dust coated his face.  Bulk and Skull raucously laughed as Curly slapped his face and gasped for breath.  “Ahh… ahhhh….ahhhhh CHOOOOOOOOOOO!” 

The force of Curly’s sneeze sent him flying across the room into the other Stooges and Caplan.  Bulk grabbed Skull by the shoulder.  “Come on, Skull!  Let’s get out of here!” 

“Right behind you!” 

Bulk and Skull bolted for the door as Caplan and his teachers struggled to their feet.  “Get off of me, you dumb walrus!” snarled Moe.  “It wasn’t my fault!” whined Curly.  “Something got in my nose!” 

“Well, here’s something else for your nose!”  Moe grabbed Curly by the nose as Caplan jumped in.  “Stop this fighting!   You have two students skipping your class!  If they do that, they will flunk!  You know what that means?!”  The Stooges looked at each other in horror. 

“They won’t get to grad-iate!” said Moe. 

“They won’t go to college!” said Larry. 

“We won’t get paid!” said Curly. 

“Come on, boys!” cried Moe.  “After ‘em!” 

The Stooges stampeded for the door, getting stuck for a moment before squeezing out.  Caplan adjusted his toupee as he followed them, along with the rest of the class.  The Power Rangers were the last students in the room. 

“I never had a class like that before,” giggled Kimberly. 

“Yeah, let’s follow them!” said Zack.  “I want to see what those crazy guys do next!” 

Suddenly, Jason’s wrist communicator started beeping.  “Hold on a second, guys.”  He gave a last look around the room then activated the communicator.  “Come in, Alpha.  What’s up?” 

“Ay yi yi yi!  Rangers, Zordon is detecting a squadron of Putties have landed in Angel Grove!  You need to morph and stop them!” 

Zach looked disappointed at the door.  “Aw, man!  I wanted to watch the show!” 

“Sorry, Zach,” said Jason.  “We got business of our own to take care of.  Teleport us there, Alpha!” 

The rangers beamed away as the school bell rang for passing period and Bulk and Skull ran for their lives from the Three Stooges. 

 

OK:

The Stooges need to catch Bulk and Skull and get them back in the classroom.  There is also another squad of putties that will appear at the school to create even more chaos. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Bulk and Skull
Read more about Bulk and Skull at Wikipedia
Official Site: Hasbro Links: Wikipedia

The Three Stooges
Read more about The Three Stooges at Wikipedia
Official Site: Official Site Links: Wikipedia: The Three Stooges Three Stooges Archive Stoogeworld

[Venom 2009]

Good match. I give the setup a 5.0.

Hard to say who would win here. But I'm going ahead and vote for Bulk and Skull since this is their first match.

[leroypowell3]

I don't think Bulk and Skull are a match for the Three Stooges.

[Boratz]

Good job, Broadway

I'm leaning toward the Stooges but I really don't know much about Bulk and Skull

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.00 - Boratz
5.00 - StormChaser

FPA Calculation:
3 Total Votes cast
14.00 Total Combined Score
14.00 / 3 = 4.67 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Bulk and Skull: 1
The Three Stooges: 3

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bulk and Skull raced through the entrance to the school cafeteria.  Students shouted in alarm as the two bullies pushed them out of their way down the lunch line.  “Bulk!” shouted Skull.  “I think we lost ‘em!”  Bulk looked over his shoulder but kept right on running.  “Yeah!  I knew we could outrun those three weirdos!” 

“Hey, Bulk!  Watch where you’re…!” 

But Skull’s warning came too late.  Bulk tripped over his own feet and was sent careening across the cafeteria towards a table set up for a class bake sale.  The table was covered in pies. 

SPLAT! 

Bulk landed face first in a lemon merengue as Skull gave his ear-piercing giggle.  Bulk slowly turned to see his friend laughing at him, along with the rest of the students in the cafeteria.  He brushed aside crust and filling from his face and glared at Skull.  “Oh, you think that’s funny, screwball?”  Bulk grabbed a pecan pie and hurled it at Skull, who ducked out of the way just in time. 

Across the room, the Stooges burst into the cafeteria.  “Spread out, boys,” called Moe.  “And be prepared for anything!”  The pecan pie caught him square in the face.  Larry and Curly laughed for a moment until Moe wiped his face off and slapped his partners with the remnants of pie.  “Get ‘em, you maroons!” 

“Don’t worry, Moe,” said Larry.  “We’ll get MMMMPH!”  A pie thrown by Skull lodged in Larry’s open mouth.  Curly grunted and jumped up and down as he revved himself up to charge at Bulk and Skull.  “Listen you!” 

SPLAT!  SPLAT! 

Two more pies found their mark and Curly crashed into one of the tables covered with pies.  The deserts catapulted through the air and smashed to earth as students scrambled to get out of the way.  They moved towards the walls, laughing and ducking as Bulk, Skull, and the Stooges grabbed more ammunition and hurled it at will. 

The merriment came to a screeching halt when a platoon of Putties teleported into the cafeteria.  The students screamed and ran away, but the pie throwers continued their struggle.  A Putty snuck behind Curly, who held a pie in both hands.  He swung the pie tins back, and the pies slipped out and landed on the Putty.  Curly turned to see the befuddled foot soldier as it babbled and hissed.  “Oh, sorry, pal.  I was aiming for those two…”  Curly’s voice faded as he finally realized that the person he was talking to wasn’t human.  He let out a wail and ran towards Moe.  “Moe!  Moe!  The Martians have landed!” 

Bulk and Skull pointed and screamed at the Putties as they advanced.  “Putties!  Run for it, Skull!” 

“Right behind you, Bulk!” 

The two bullies slipped and slid across the floor on pie tins and filling.  As they slid along flailing their arms and legs, they inadvertently kicked and slapped the Putties that tried to block their path.  Curly yanked on Moe’s arm, causing the pie in Moe’s hand to hit him.  “What’s the matter with you?!” 

“Moe!  The Martians are here!  The Martians are here!” 

“Ah, you’ve been seeing Martians, eh?  How would you like to see some stars?!”  Larry pointed at the Putties as Moe delivered the eye poke.  “It’s no joke, Moe!  What are those things?!”  Moe’s eyes widened at the approaching creatures.  “Well, why don’t you take a closer look at ‘em?”  Moe gave Curly a kick in the pants that sent the largest Stooge colliding with the Putties.  Moe and Larry took off running as a couple Putties leapt after them, only for them to crash into the out-of-control Bulk and Skull.  The two Stooges opened the door to the cafeteria to reveal a furious Mr. Caplan.  “What in the world is going on in there?!”  Larry slammed the door shut and blocked it with his body.  “We’re trapped like rats!” he said to Moe. 

“Then we better cheese it!” snapped Moe.  He dragged Larry by the ear as Curly slammed his gut into a Putty and sent him flying over a table.  Moe and Larry each grabbed a pie as two Putties snuck up on Curly.   “Hey, Martians!” shouted Moe.  The Putties turned around just in time to get hit by the pies. 

Bulk and Skull’s slip and slide journey sent Putties flailing to the floor.  “Bulk, I’m getting sick!” Skull moaned.  “How do we get outta here?” 

“How should I know?” wailed Bulk.  “I’m no wussy figure skatEEEEER!” 

The two bullies finally stopped when they slammed into a garbage can.  Meanwhile the Stooges hurled pies, pokes, and punches at the hapless Putties.  They all held up a pie to throw at the few Putties left standing.  “Alright, boys!” called Moe.  “Let ‘em have it!” 

The Stooges threw their pies in their tins like frisbees.  The pie tins conked the Putties then inexplicably flew backwards like pinballs to clobber Bulk and Skull.  The pies flipped out of their tins and landed on the heads of Bulk and Skull.   

The Stooges gathered around the fallen bullies.  Larry’s face beamed with pride.  “Hey, Moe!  Look at us!  We got our truants!” 

“I thought he played for Brooklyn?” wondered Curly. 

“That’s Durant, knobhead!” snarled Moe. 

“And we stopped those Martians!” went on Larry.  Curly tilted his head.  “Hey!  Do you hear somebody whistling?” 

“Nobody’s whistling!” said Moe. 

Larry looked around nervously.  “Maybe it’s more of them Martians!”  Moe picked up a couple of pies left and handed them out to Curly and Larry.  “The bozo may be right.  Keep your guard up!” 

Technicolor lights flashed and the Power Rangers beamed into the cafeteria.  “Hyah!” shouted Tommy.  “Let’s kick some Putty tail!” 

Instantly the Rangers were hit by a deluge of pies.  Curly hid his face in embarrassment.  “Uh oh!  We goofed!” 

“Let’s blow this crazy school!” said Moe.  The Stooges bolted for the door, each with a pie in hand.  The door opened and Caplan stormed in.  The Stooges ran over the principal and tossed the pies into the air as they sprinted out the door.  All three pies splatted onto Caplan as the Rangers tried to wipe pie filling off their helmets. 

“Does anyone have a clue what just happened?” asked Billy. 

Bulk and Skull opened their eyes and took in the sight of the Rangers, fallen Putties, and a pie covered principal.  They shared a look confusion, then sunk to the filling and crust covered ground.