Match 19354 Tai Lung vs. Death (Puss In Boots)

[Pizzaguy2995]

Tai Lung vs Death

“Teachers open the door, but you must enter it by yourself,” -Chinese Proverb.

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Soothing Chinese background music plays as the scene opens up to the Spirit Realm, a usually peaceful plane of reality, where the souls of deceased kung fu masters go to find enlightenment and be at peace after a long lived life. But sadly for all, one resident is decidedly not at peace with his current predicament.

“PO! SHIFU! DAMN YOU BOTH TO HELL!”

Upon one of the countless floating temples within the Spirit Realm, loud roars and broken pieces of furniture and walls rang as the restless soul of one seriously enraged leopard tore through the floating building, yelling curses at those who he believed had wronged him in life!

“IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT WAS MY DESTINY! AND YOU STOLE IT FROM ME!” 

After throwing one of the round pillars through the stone wall and into the sprawling abyss, the disgraced martial arts prodigy let out one final bellow of fury before falling to his knees. He had been raging and throwing his hissy fit for what felt like ages, so now he was too tired to continue his rampage. 

“It’s not fair! It should have been me! Why wasn’t it me?” The snow leopard’s growling voice gradually turned to low whispers as a single tear dropped down his eye. “Why wasn’t I good enough? What more did I need to do? I trained until my bones cracked every day, I mastered every martial arts technique in the books, all for that stupid title. And it still wasn’t enough? What else could I have done? Was I destined to fail no matter what I did?”

“The universe is not so cruel old friend, but as I once told your master; one often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” 

Tai Lung’s ears shot up and his eyes widen as he heard a voice he thought he’d never hear again. Emerging from the hole in the wall, in a golden hue came the form of a very elderly tortoise who the fallen king Fu prodigy knew all too well.

“Master Oogway?”

“Hello old friend.”

“ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!”

The snow leopard leaped at the elderly reptile sage with a ferocious roar! But just like last time, Tai Lung was no match for the wise old master, and Oogway quickly incapacitated him with paralyzing nerve strikes to the chest.

“A pity. You still haven’t let go of all that anger, all that hatred. Even after it destroyed you in life,” Master Oogway shook his head sadly as he walked around the immobile feline.

“YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE OLD MAN! This all happened because of you! You took away my destiny! My master! Everything that I ever loved!” Tai Lung roared in fury as he strained himself trying to get up.

“Just let it all out child. I can only imagine what it’s like carrying all that rage for so long,” Oogway spoke with sincere understanding.

“Don’t you dare patronize me Oogway! Don’t you dare act like you don’t know what you did! I trained myself bloody and bruised everyday to be worthy of that scroll and you had to nerve to say I wasn’t worthy? I GAVE YOU AND SHIFU EVERYTHING I HAD!” Tai Lung roared in fury!

“Oh… Oh dear… Yes I see now. So it really was my fault that you turned out the way you did wasn’t it?” Master Oogway asked as though he had just solved a very difficult riddle.

“YES! Of course it was you senile old fool!” Tai Lung once again bellowed out his rage.

“Ah. I see. And those villagers were also to blame for your robbed destiny as well right?” The long lived tortoise surmised.

“Precisely you miserable old- what did you say?” Tai Lung asked, caught off guard

“The villagers Tai Lung. The ones who lost their lives when you laid waste to the Valley after I rejected you. Tell me, was it their fault as well that your destiny was robbed?” The old Master asked the younger man.

“I-I don’t… I didn’t mean… I did not want that to happen! I never wanted to harm anyone!” Tai Lung insisted, though with much less fire then before.

“And yet you did old friend. Those villagers were just trying to live their lives in peace and you took everything from them. Surely you do not think that was a justified action?” Oogway asked him.

“No of course not! I never- shut up! Don’t try to confuse me! That would have never happened if you had just given me what I wanted!” Tai Lung growled in anger again.

“So you’re saying you killed me because you didn’t get a blank scroll?”

“Wh-what are… what did-“ Tai Lung’s voice caught in his throat as he was suddenly surrounded by the souls of those he had murdered in life.

“Why was my life not as important as a scroll?”

“Why couldn’t you just control your temper?”

“If someone refused to sell you noodles would that also be grounds to murder them?”

“How could you call yourself the Dragon Warrior after you’ve killed so many?”

“How could you possibly be the good guy after everything you’ve done?”

“HOW?”

“WELL?”

“ANSWER US DAMMIT!”

“Please stop! I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” The usually fierce and indomitable Tai Lung had been reduced to a weeping mess in the face of all the sins he’s committed in life. “I lost control. I was so angry that it blinded to everything else around me. I’m so sorry for what I did. I’m so sorry.”

The dead souls of all the Kung Fu leopard’s victims regarded him with unreadable expressions. Then in a puff of smoke all of them turned back into soul orbs and flew off to parts unknown to the snow leopard.

“The road to forgiveness is a long process, and everyone reserves the right to not take it,” Master Oogway sighed sadly before looking over Tai Lung again. “But I hope now you understand why I refused to name you the Dragon Warrior. And why I gave Po that title instead.”

“Because he’s too much of a harmless Panda to get mad at anyone. Especially when you gifted him the title on a silver plater,” Tai Lung muttered in annoyance.

“Ohohoho, is that how you think it happened?” The old tortoise chuckled to himself. Then with a spiral of his cane flashbacks to times past played in front of Tai Lung’s face.

“One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.”

“Yeah, or could at least touch his toes!”

“Or even see his toes!” 

“You don’t belong here!”

“A big, fat, panda, who treats it like a joke.”

“Like you Po faced much resistance in his quest to become the Dragon Warrior. The difference was that Po, instead of giving into despair and hopelessness, chose to work hard to improve upon himself. To make himself worthy of the title, and to protect the ones he calls friends,” the great Oogway explained. “I had hoped you’d also take that same route Tai Lung. I really hoped that you would.”

“What is even the point of you telling me this? It’s too late isn’t it? He’s the Dragon Warrior and I’m the bad guy who betrayed my master and terrorized the Valley!” Tai Lung sadly surmised.

“It is never too late to find inner peace old friend. The path of redemption is one that is open to all who would seek it,” The tortoise sage assured.

“But to the land of the living, I’ll always be the bad guy. The villain that parents tell their children to never be like,” Tai Lung insisted.

“Well then perhaps you should take a page out of the Dragon Warrior’s book, and work hard to change their minds,” Master Oogway suggested, smiling as he saw the shocked look on the leopard’s face.

“What? But how? I’m dead now aren’t I?” The prodigal son asked.

“If you were truly dead then how did you feel the pain of my pressure points?” Master Oogway rhetorically asked, once more using a serious of pressure points on Tai Lung’s chest, freeing him from his paralyzed state. “You were send to the spirit realm in a most unique way Tai Lung. Your body is not quite alive but also not quite dead. And as long as a flitting bit of life resides in your body it can be healed and sent back to realm of the living.”

“Please master, tell me how to do it. I promise you I only seek redemption for my actions. So please give me one more chance. Please,” Tai Lung begged, bowing his head in a sign of humility.

“Far to the north you must go. To insure your body is fully healed then you must seek out the most legendary of items. One that once drunken will heal all wounds and diseases so thoroughly, it was said to make the drinker immortal,” Oogway exposited.

“The Elixir of Life! It is here? To the North?” Tai Lung could hardly believe it.

“Go now Tai Lung, your journey to redemption starts now. But be warned, just because I believe you can change does not mean there aren’t others that do not. Be careful young warrior.”

Tai Lung once more bowed in gratitude to Oogway and then took off towards the north, bouncing on top of the floating rocks until he was out of sight.

(Ominous Whistling)

“(Sighs) I’ve done everything I can to help you old friend. I pray it’ll be enough. Farewell.”

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Tai Lung moved swiftly across the hovering rocks, not slowing down even as the region changed from the welcoming golden glow to a darker, greenish hue that would spook those with weaker constitutions. But after traveling for an undetermined amount of time (it was impossible to tell within this realm) Tai Lung saw something in the distance. Something that looked like an altar for something very important.

(Whistle of Death)

Tai Lung stopped short of the altar and looked around. The hairs on the back of his stood on edge and he let out a menacing growl as he searched for the location of that echoing whistle.

“Who is there? Show yourself!”

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Heeeeeeeeere kitty, kitty, kitty.”

Tai Lung let out a warning snarl and then jumped onto the rocky platform that contained the altar. Rushing up to it, Tai Lung felt his anger once again spark as he saw his treasure was not there. The Leopard warrior roared and smash the altar in fury.

“Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU!”

“Here.”

The Kung Fu master backflipped just in time to avoid the slash of the sickle. Landing on a nearby floating rock, he growled once more as he took in his opponent: a large, silvery-white wolf in a long black cloak, dual wielding a pair of sinister looking sickles.

“Well isn’t this my lucky day. The legendary Dragon Warrior himself. Oh wait that’s the panda right? You’re just the Kung Fu dropout who had temper tantrum because daddy sent you away and then replaced you with someone better. How tragically pathetic,” the wolf flashed a smile full of sharp teeth.

“What did you do with the Elixir?” Tai Lung demanded, eyes narrowing as he saw the wolf pull the vial out of his cloak. 

“You weren’t planning to cheat death with this, were you Gato? You really thought you could be the first one to beat me at my own game? To escape your well earned fate? No Gato, that’s not gonna happen I’m afraid,” The Wolf put the vial away and swung his sickles around menacingly. “Cause me and you have some unfinished business we have to settle.”

“If you know who I am, then you know it’s a mistake to get in my way,” Tai Lung snarled at the cloak wearing wolf.

“Oooh so scary. So tell me Gato, have you figured out who I am yet? Go on, say it out loud,” The Wolf licked his chops as he regarded his foe.

“I stopped fearing you a long time ago Yama, and that was before I died. Now give me the Elixir of Life before I tear you apart piece by piece,” Tai Lung threatened Death itself.

“Oh death is just the beginning for you my little Gato. How does having your soul completely destroyed sound to you?” Death darkly asked.

“ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!”

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So it’s Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda) vs Death (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish) in the spirit realm, think where Po and Kai fought in Kung Fu Panda 3. Tai Lung wins if he gets the Elixir from Death and escapes back to the real world, Death wins if he kills Tai Lung (where if he dies in the Spirit Realm his soul is completely destroyed). Who wins?

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Tai Lung
Read more about Tai Lung at Wikipedia
Official Site: Dreamworks Links: Wikipedia

Death (Puss In Boots)
Read more about Death (Puss In Boots) at Wikipedia
Official Site: Dreamworks Links: Wikipedia

[Mercenaryblade]

Good to see Death getting a match. 

Sorry Tail, I don't think you're going to cheat Death.  

[Pizzaguy2995]

Almost forgot to give videos of our fighters for reference:

 

[Peypeypeypey]

Eh, I actually think, going strictly by what we see in each movie, Tai Lung takes this. They're both very capable fighters, but Tai took out all five of the Furious Five at once and took on dozens of those rhino guards without breaking a sweat. Death in Puss in Boots is great and I really like the character, but as far as personifications of Death go, he's definitely not the strongest. Puss was able to give him a good fight, and giving Tai a win con in the scenario means it's only a matter of time before he wins, in my eyes.

If we use the logic of the movies, obviously Death would win. Going strictly by feats, Death can be hurt and damaged, so Tai Lung's skills, speed, and power should be enough to grab the elixir

[Boratz]

Great job, PizzaGuy

Admittedly I've never seen any of the Kung Fu Panda or Puss in Boots movies. I definitely need to do some catching up. 

[Macklemore]

I unironically am of the belief that Tai Lung could hit the pressure points of Death and just take the jug away. Death, while a cool character within the Shrek universe, would be out of his depth against any one character from the Kung Fu Panda series. He gets absolutely shown up by Tai Lung, who as said previously, is stronger, more durable, infinitely more skilled, and faster in combat.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - patrickthekid
5.00 - Boratz
5.00 - Macklemore
4.60 - Mercenaryblade

FPA Calculation:
4 Total Votes cast
19.60 Total Combined Score
19.60 / 4 = 4.90 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Tai Lung: 2
Death (Puss In Boots): 3