Match 19848 The Wrecking Crew vs. Female Furies

[broadwaybeyonder]

The Female Furies milled around the courtyard in front of Darkseid’s palace on Apokalips.  Bernadeth stood with arms folded behind her back as she observed the scene.  Lashina impatiently cracked her whips and Gilotina thrusted with her sword.  Speed Queen and Mad Harriet dashed from one end of the courtyard to the other, annoying Artemiz as she tried to focus on hitting a passing Parademon for target practice.  Stompa stood looking like her usual dimwitted self.  The only Fury who stood at attention unmoving and focused was Big Barda, her mega-rod held at the ready. 

The doors to the palace opened and Granny Goodness walked into the courtyard flanked by two Parademons.  The other Furies swiftly moved into formation alongside Barda.  Granny gave a sickening smile as she addressed them. 

“My Furies, our sovereign Darkseid has decreed that the time has come to put an end to interference from Earth.  Too long has the Kryptonian Superman stood with Highfather and those naughty boys and girls on New Genesis.  But no more!  Today is the day that the Superman dies by the hands of the most powerful warriors of Apokalips!  It is the will of Darkseid!” 

“All Hail Darkseid!” the Furies shouted in unison. 

Granny reached into her cloak and pulled out a Mother Box.  She extended it towards Bernadeth, who walked forward and knelt down in front of her.  “Bernadeth, Darkseid has decided that you will be the field commander for this mission.  You will be entrusted with the Mother Box.” 

“I live to serve Darkseid’s will, Granny,” said Bernadeth, taking the Mother Box. 

“And it is Darkseid’s will that your second in command will be…” There was a noticeable look of anticipation among the Furies. 

“Big Barda.” 

Lashina bristled as Barda stepped out of the line and knelt next to Bernadeth.  “Barda, dear,” said Granny.  “You know the importance of this mission and your purpose in it, don’t you?” 

“Yes, Granny,” Barda intoned.  “Bernadeth’s word is your command, and your command is Darkseid’s will.” 

“You’ve got to be kidding!” muttered Lashina.  “She’s barely been a Fury longer than Speed or Artemiz!  Now she’s going to be second in command?” 

“Don’t take it so hard, Lashina,” smirked Gilotina.  “Even if Barda wasn’t here, you still wouldn’t be in charge.” 

“Oh really?  Because you would be in charge?” 

“Seeing as how I’m the stronger, better fighter you don’t have to be Darkseid to figure that out.” 

“Furies!  Silence in ranks!” 

The Furies stopped squabbling under Granny’s glare.  “This bickering will not accomplish anything!  Do not disgrace your Granny in front of our sovereign Darkseid!” 

Granny pointed with a mega-rod towards a balcony of the palace overlooking the courtyard.  The Furies instantly stood up straighter at the unmistakable frame of Darkseid looking down on them. 

“Together not even the Superman can stand against you, my dearies!” proclaimed Granny.  “And once he is dead, there is not a single, so-called hero who will oppose our master’s will!  Who are you?” 

“The Female Furies!” the eight women howled back. 

“What is your home?!” 

“Apokalips!” 

“Who is your granny?!” 

“Granny Goodness!” 

“And who is your god?!” 

“Darkseid!” 

Granny flung her arms wide and Bernadeth and Barda rose to their feet.  “Then fly, my dearies!  Fly and destroy the Superman of Earth!  It is the will of Darkseid!” 

“All Hail Darkseid!” 

Bernadeth and Barda turned and marched back to the Furies.  Bernadeth pointed and pressed a button on the Mother Box to summon a Boom Tube.  “Remember, Furies, when we reach Earth, you will follow my orders to the letter!” 

“Yeah, yeah, come on!  Let’s get going!” said Speed Queen. 

“Yes!  Less talking, more slicing!” giggled Mad Harriet.  She extended her claws and slashed at the air, swinging wildly.  One slash narrowly missed Artemiz’ face.  “Save it for the Kryptonian, Harriet!” she snapped.  But Harriet was too busy laughing maniacally, waving her claws in excitement.  Until one strike hit the Mother Box controls. 

The color of the Boom Tube changed from white to green to red.  “Stompa likes the pretty colors,” Stompa said.  Bernadeth desperately pressed buttons on the Mother Box.  “It’s not working!  Harriet, you idiot!  You’ve damaged the controls!” 

“Uh… not my fault.” 

“Bernadeth,” said Barda.  “Let me take a look at Mother Box.  Perhaps we can fix it before…” 

Suddenly the Boom Tube started letting out a series of explosions.  The eight Furies could feel themselves being pulled towards the entrance to the portal.  Speed Queen tried to race away and Lashina tried to catch a hold with her whip but it was no use.  Within seconds the Furies were sucked into the Boom Tube which disappeared with a louder that normal explosion.  Granny stood dumbfounded with the Parademons and gave a nervous look up to the balcony.  She watched Darkseid slowly turn and walk back into the palace.  The Furies had received their orders.  It was up to them to carry them out.  It was Darkseid’s will. 

 

The door of the bank vault smashed open as Bulldozer charged through it.  Wrecker, Piledriver, and Thunderball followed their partner as his momentum carried him into the wall.  Piledriver looked over his shoulder and winked at the bank employees and customers who were sitting on the floor, faces taut with panic. 

“Don’t mind us, folks!  We’re just gonna make a withdrawal and get out of your hair!” 

“And if anyone tries to play hero, Bulldozer will do the same thing to you that he did to that door!” Wrecker barked.  “Got it?!” 

There was only a quiet sob and nods of defeat in response.  The Wrecking Crew piled into the vault, using their weapons to smash open safe deposit boxes and grab whatever was inside.  “Robbing banks,” Thunderball grumbled.  “We’re four of the most powerful men on the planet and we’re robbing banks.” 

“What’s the matter, Thunderball?” said Bulldozer, picking bits of insulation off his costume.  “You think your too good for this?” 

“Knock it off!” snapped Wrecker.  “We can use our powers to do whatever we want to do!  We need cash!  So just shut up and get your hands on as much as possible!  And if any cops or Avengers show up we’ll pound ‘em into…” 

Wrecker was interrupted by the sound of an explosion from the bank lobby.  A glowing portal opened in the ceiling and eight figures tumbled out of it.  The bank hostages screamed and took off running for the doors.  The Wrecking Crew were too shocked by the appearance of the intruders to try to stop them. 

“Barda!  Give our current location and status of Mother Box!” 

“I’m unable to get a clear reading, Bernadeth.  Mother Box says were on Earth, but not if we’ve landed in the Superman’s Metropolis!” 

“This wouldn’t have happened if Darkseid put me in charge!” grumbled Lashina. 

“No.  We would have ended up on New Genesis instead.” 

“Say that again, Gilotina!” 

“Hey, hey, hey!  Ladies!” 

The Furies finally realized the presence of the Wrecking Crew.  Piledriver took a step forward, grinning as he looked the Furies over.  “Get a load of this, fellas!  This job just got even better!  It’s like the Beach Boys said.  ‘Two girls for every boy!’” 

“Humans!” Bernadeth shouted.  “I am Bernadeth of Apokalips!  I am the leader of the Female Furies!  We are here to slay the Superman of Krypton by order of our master Darkseid!  Hand him over to us and we may spare your lives!” 

The Wrecking Crew looked at each other, then burst out laughing.  Bernadeth stood flustered as Wrecker pointed at her with his crowbar.  “Lady, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!  So you listen up!  This is our job, and we aren’t gonna have a bunch of broads messing it up!  So how about you go back to Apokalips or Barbie Land or wherever the hell you come from?  Unless you want to know how the Wrecking Crew got it’s name!” 

Big Barda’s grip on her mega-rod tightened as the Wrecking Crew readied their weapons.  “Your orders, Bernadeth?”  Bernadeth’s eyes narrowed.  “Protect Mother Box.  And kill these fools who mock the servants of Darkseid.  Furies!  Attack!” 

 

OK:

Wrecking Crew: Wrecker, Bulldozer, Piledriver, and Thunderball.  Full strength. 

Female Furies: Bernadeth, Big Barda, Stompa, Lashina, Mad Harriet, Gilotina, Speed Queen, and Artemiz.  Full strength. 

Last team standing wins. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
The Wrecking Crew
Read more about The Wrecking Crew at Wikipedia
Official Site: marvel Links: wikipedia.com marvel.com hellfire.com

Female Furies
Read more about Female Furies at Wikipedia
Official Site: DC Comics Links: Wikipedia DC Wikia Comic Vine

[patrickthekid]

Okay, this is going to be very interesting. Most of the Furies go down early, but Granny Goodness herself will likely take them down herself. That and I think the Furies are better at tactics in general even if they have less power in average.

[leroypowell3]

Powerful as they are, The Wrecking Crew don't have any training. The Furies aren't really teamwork oriented, more thugnificent beat down tactics but there are more of them and they are more vicious than what the Wrecking Crew is used to.

 

Female Furies win.

[RakaiThwei]

I'm thinking that maybe the Female Furies got this.

[JohnnyChany]

I feel like the Furies may get their first victory.

[RakaiThwei]

11 hours ago, JohnnyChany said:

I feel like the Furies may get their first victory.

Looking at their records... OUCH!

[Pizzaguy2995]

Great write-up Broadway. Going with the majority here and saying the Furies claim their first CBUB Win!

[DSkillz]

Good set-up, broadway. One minor quibble, though, is that you kept misspelling "Apokolips". You sure do like the idea of a pre-reformed Barda with the Furies in your stories, don't you? 

As for the match, the fight's gonna get pretty vicious, but the Furies should likely prevail with greater numbers, experience, and ferocity. 

On 12/12/2023 at 5:12 AM, patrickthekid said:

Most of the Furies go down early, but Granny Goodness herself will likely take them down herself.

Except, per the set-up, Granny didn't get transported with them. 

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.70 - DSkillz
4.00 - Pizzaguy2995
4.30 - JohnnyChany
4.00 - Boratz
5.00 - patrickthekid

FPA Calculation:
5 Total Votes cast
22.00 Total Combined Score
22.00 / 5 = 4.40 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
The Wrecking Crew: 2
Female Furies: 7

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

Stompa slammed her foot down, causing cracks to race across the floor towards the oncoming Bulldozer.  The force of the hit sent the Wrecking Crew member into the air, and Stompa leapt up to meet him. 

“Stompa lifts them up…” 

Both of Stompa’s feet crashed onto Bulldozer’s head, smashing open his helmet.  The brutish supervillain was instantly knocked unconscious as he fell back to earth, making a crater out of the bank’s tiled floor.  Stompa landed next to his body and nodded.  “Stompa puts them down.” 

Wrecker ran towards Stompa with his crowbar raised high.  “You’ll pay for that, you fat piece a…!” 

Big Barda’s Mega-Rod blocked Wrecker’s strike as Piledriver and Thunderball raced past to engage the rest of the Furies.  “The only one who will pay is you for opposing the will of Darkseid!” she snarled. 

Thunderball swung his ball and chain, making the Furies leap out of the way. 

“Remember your training, Furies!” shouted Bernadeth.  “Gilotina!” 

The sword-wielding Fury drew her weapon and charged at Thunderball, who easily blocked her strike with his chain.  “Listen, lady, just face facts!” Thunderball said.  “We are the four strongest people on this planet!” 

“Good thing I’m not from this planet, then,” Gilotina sneered.  She flipped over Thunderball and landed on his shoulders.  She raised her sword to strike only for Thunderball’s weapon to swing back and knock her down.  Gilotina gasped for breath as she reached for her fallen sword, only for Thunderball to stamp down on top of it.  “You’ve brought this on yourself,” said Thunderball.  He pulled back to hit the finishing blow only for Lashina’s whip to wrap around his wrist.  “Such a strong boy,” Lashina hissed.  “Don’t tell me two women are too much for you?” 

The whip crackled with electricity and Thunderball groaned in pain.  Gilotina pulled the sword from under Thunderball’s foot and thrust the blade into his gut.  The two Furies stared at each other as Thunderball dropped down bleeding. 

“So, you’re the better fighter?” 

“Shut up, Lashina.” 

Meanwhile, Bernadeth was directing traffic with the other Furies.  At first Piledriver had liked the idea of fighting a team of attractive women, but now he was beginning to have second thoughts.  Mad Harriet leapt from the columns in the bank to strike him with her claws while Speed Queen raced around him delivering blow after blow with her chakram. 

“Stay still so I can clobber you, ya crazy OWCH!” 

“Sorry!” snarked Speed Queen.  “Staying still isn’t my thing!” 

“Yes!” cackled Mad Harriet.  “We’ll stay still when your blood we spill!” 

“Now, Artemiz!” shouted Bernadeth. 

The archer of Apokolips aimed and fired two arrows that pierced Piledriver in both shoulders.  The arrows carried him back until they pinned him to the stone wall of the bank.  Piledriver looked shocked at the blood dripping out his wounds as Bernadeth advanced with her Fahren-Knife drawn. 

“I’m… I’m shot?  Lordy!  I’ve been…” 

The rest of Piledriver’s words were lost in his screams as Bernadeth’s knife began to burn him up from the inside. 

The Wrecker swung wildly at Big Barda, but she was able to block every strike with her Mega-Rod.  “I don’t need these losers!  I can beat you broads all by myself!  I’m the toughest guy around!” 

Big Barda delivered a headbutt that forced Wrecker back then aimed at him with the Mega-Rod.  “Let’s put that boast to the test.  Hail Darkseid!” 

The blast of energy from the Mega-Rod forced Wrecker off his feet and flying into the vault.  He shuddered on the ground for a moment, tried to rise up to a knee, then collapsed. 

“The battle’s done!  We’ve won, we’ve won!”  cheered Mad Harriet. 

“Furies!” barked Bernadeth.  “There was nothing gained by defeating these lesser men.  Mother Box is damaged and has brought us to the wrong location.” 

“So what?” said Speed Queen.  “If those guys were the best this place has to offer, we’d have problem taking out anyone else here.” 

“Speed Queen’s right,” said Gilotina.  “We could be running this place!” 

“And by we you mean you?” said Lashina. 

Any further argument was interrupted by the sound of an opening Boom Tube.  The Furies turned to see the immense figure walking out of the portal, then dropped to their knees. 

“All Hail Darkseid!” 

The ruler of Apokolips glanced at the carnage surrounding him.  “Bernadeth, report.” 

Bernadeth kept kneeling and looking down as she spoke.  “There was a malfunction with the Boom Tube, Lord Darkseid.  We encountered hostiles and we were victorious.  Would you wish for us to continue the assault?” 

Darkseid gave a look of disgust at the fallen Wrecking Crew.  “No.  You were not trained to waste your skills on these insects.  Granny Goodness was able to track the signal from your Mother Box.  Now you shall go back to Apokolips, where we shall continue your training for your final battle with Kal-El.” 

The Furies silently rose to their feet and marched single file into the Boom Tube.  Speed Queen smirked and blew a raspberry at the Wrecking Crew only to be shoved in by Bernadeth. 

Wrecker finally managed to crawl out of the vault, his crowbar held limp in his hands.  But when he saw the enormous figure of Darkseid, he quickly scooted back into the vault.  Maybe it would be better to just wait until the heroes showed up to arrest them.