13:16 - Wendy vs. GEICO Gecko

[UMPIRE]

SEASON 13, ROUND 16

Wendy

Slot: The Team's Mascot
Season Wins: 2
Season Losses: 0
Fantasy Team Page
Read more about Wendy at this Wiki
Official Site: Wendy's

GEICO Gecko

Slot: The Team's Mascot
Season Wins: 2
Season Losses: 0
Fantasy Team Page
Read more about GEICO Gecko at this Wiki
Official Site: GEICO

Battle Terrain
Team Mascot Challenge: President

[DSkillz]

The Gecko easily has more charisma, that's for sure.  

He's also more popular at this point. 

 

[Mercenaryblade]

No one is voting for a gecko. Wendy will unleash a smear campaign unlike any other against the gecko. 

[DSkillz]

7 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

No one is voting for a gecko. Wendy will unleash a smear campaign unlike any other against the gecko. 

Heh, Wendy barely even speaks for herself. In fact, I've rarely ever actually seen her specifically in her own franchise's ads besides on the logo. 

Meanwhile, aside from his charisma, the GEIKO Gecko can also promise the world over various forms of insurance. 

[Mercenaryblade]

2 minutes ago, DSkillz said:

Heh, Wendy barely even speaks for herself. In fact, I've rarely ever actually seen her specifically in her own franchise's ads besides on the logo. 

 

You must not get out much. 

 

Yeah this girl is running the smear campaign... Geico Gecko is going to be toasted. 

[DSkillz]

15 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

You must not get out much. 

 

Yeah this girl is running the smear campaign... Geico Gecko is going to be toasted. 

The Gecko does social media, too. 

Also, the Gecko could point out that Wendy herself never actually makes public appearances. Not sure how much of the over-35 crowd (which makes up the biggest chunk of the electorate) would listen to someone that never attends public events. 

Meanwhile, unlike Wendy, the GEICO Gecko is always willing to speak with the people out in the open. 

[Mercenaryblade]

52 minutes ago, DSkillz said:

The Gecko does social media, too. 

Also, the Gecko could point out that Wendy herself never actually makes public appearances. Not sure how much of the over-35 crowd (which makes up the biggest chunk of the electorate) would listen to someone that never attends public events. 

Meanwhile, unlike Wendy, the GEICO Gecko is always willing to speak with the people out in the open. 

The over 35 crowd is also more likely to not vote for a lizard. 

[DSkillz]

2 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

The over 35 crowd is also more likely to not vote for a lizard. 

They'd be more likely to vote for someone that promises everyone good insurance on their homes and vehicles. They are also of the age that they'd likely start to veer away from fast food. 

[Mercenaryblade]

Dramatic music plays as the screen fades from black to an image of the globe spinning. Voiceover begins.

In a world where leadership matters, two contenders step onto the global stage. Wendy, the symbol of fast food excellence, and the Geico Gecko, a mere reptile with big dreams.

[Cut to a shot of Wendy, standing tall and confident, with an American flag waving behind her.]

Wendy stands for hard work, innovation, and the pursuit of deliciousness for all.

[Cut to a contrasting shot of the Geico Gecko, looking mischievous against a murky background.]

But the Gecko? He's just a smooth-talking reptile, peddling insurance policies with a smirk.

[Cut to a series of images showing Wendy engaging with people of diverse backgrounds, smiling and serving food.]

Wendy has spent her career bringing people together, serving up smiles and satisfaction in every bite. She's a unifier, a beacon of hope in a world of uncertainty.

[Cut to footage of the Geico Gecko, surrounded by stacks of paperwork, looking overwhelmed.]

Meanwhile, the Gecko is drowning in bureaucracy, lost in a maze of paperwork. Can we trust someone who can't even navigate their own office to lead the world?

[Cut to a split-screen comparison: Wendy on one side, vibrant and engaging, and the Gecko on the other, looking small and insignificant.]

Wendy embodies strength, integrity, and the power of the people. The Gecko? He's just a corporate mascot, out of his depth in the deep waters of global politics.

[Cut to a final shot of Wendy, smiling confidently into the camera, with the slogan displayed prominently: "Wendy for World Leader: Serving Up Success for All."]

The choice is clear. When it comes to leadership, don't settle for a gecko. Choose Wendy, the true champion of the people.

[End with the image of Wendy's smiling face and the sound of a bell ringing, signaling victory.]

[Mercenaryblade]

50 minutes ago, DSkillz said:

They'd be more likely to vote for someone that promises everyone good insurance on their homes and vehicles. They are also of the age that they'd likely start to veer away from fast food. 

While it's true that older voters may prioritize insurance and financial security, it's essential to consider the broader qualities needed in a world leader. Wendy's appeal transcends mere promises of insurance; she embodies values that resonate with people of all ages.

Firstly, Wendy represents reliability and consistency. Just as her restaurants have stood the test of time, Wendy offers a steady hand in turbulent times. Her commitment to quality and service mirrors the values cherished by older voters who appreciate dependability.

Moreover, Wendy's leadership isn't just about fast food; it's about community engagement and empowerment. She's proven herself as a philanthropist, supporting causes that matter to everyday people, regardless of age. This demonstrates a genuine concern for the well-being of society as a whole.

Additionally, Wendy's innovative spirit ensures she adapts to changing times. While older voters may be concerned about insurance, they also value adaptability and forward-thinking leadership. Wendy embodies these traits, constantly evolving her brand and offerings to meet the needs of diverse communities.

Lastly, Wendy's inclusive approach to leadership fosters unity and understanding across generations. She's a symbol of shared experiences and shared values, bridging divides and bringing people together.

In contrast, while the Geico Gecko may offer insurance promises, he lacks the depth and resonance needed to lead on a global scale. His appeal is limited to a single industry, whereas Wendy's vision encompasses broader societal concerns.

Ultimately, older voters recognize the importance of leadership that transcends narrow interests and speaks to the broader aspirations of humanity. Wendy embodies those aspirations, making her the ideal choice for voters of all ages.

[DSkillz]

35 minutes ago, Mercenaryblade said:

- cut -

We're writing full scenarios for rebuttals now?  

I mean, those are nice public service announcements on Wendy's behalf, but the problem is that we never see Wendy herself make those statements. Much like you just did, someone is always promoting the franchise on her behalf, whether it's Dave Thomas (the franchise's actual creator) or an actual red-headed actress that kinda posed as her back in the 2010's. 

Meanwhile, while Geico has other mascots, the Gecko is always at its forefront. 

1 hour ago, Mercenaryblade said:

While it's true that older voters may prioritize insurance and financial security, it's essential to consider the broader qualities needed in a world leader. Wendy's appeal transcends mere promises of insurance; she embodies values that resonate with people of all ages.

So does GEICO's. It has its own philanthropic foundation, after all. 

1 hour ago, Mercenaryblade said:

Firstly, Wendy represents reliability and consistency. Just as her restaurants have stood the test of time, Wendy offers a steady hand in turbulent times. Her commitment to quality and service mirrors the values cherished by older voters who appreciate dependability.

And what represents reliability more than reliably having your home and vehicle insured? GEICO's been in business since 1936 for a reason, and it really hit its stride when the Gecko came along. 

1 hour ago, Mercenaryblade said:

In contrast, while the Geico Gecko may offer insurance promises, he lacks the depth and resonance needed to lead on a global scale. His appeal is limited to a single industry, whereas Wendy's vision encompasses broader societal concerns.

We don't see much of Wendy's own vision because she rarely shows up to promote her product. Meanwhile, the Gecko not only has his own social media accounts, but he also has several different ads out at any given time. The lizard is not afraid to engage the masses himself.

[Mercenaryblade]

1 hour ago, DSkillz said:

We're writing full scenarios for rebuttals now?  

I mean, those are nice public service announcements on Wendy's behalf, but the problem is that we never see Wendy herself make those statements. Much like you just did, someone is always promoting the franchise on her behalf, whether it's Dave Thomas (the franchise's actual creator) or an actual red-headed actress that kinda posed as her back in the 2010's. 

Meanwhile, while Geico has other mascots, the Gecko is always at its forefront. 

So does GEICO's. It has its own philanthropic foundation, after all. 

And what represents reliability more than reliably having your home and vehicle insured? GEICO's been in business since 1936 for a reason, and it really hit its stride when the Gecko came along. 

We don't see much of Wendy's own vision because she rarely shows up to promote her product. Meanwhile, the Gecko not only has his own social media accounts, but he also has several different ads out at any given time. The lizard is not afraid to engage the masses himself.

I don't know why you even want to win this one so badly, you're already at the top.  You can afford to lose one. 

The presence of the Geico Gecko in advertisements doesn't necessarily translate to effective leadership qualities. While the Gecko may be charming and ubiquitous, his role is primarily as a corporate spokesperson. Leadership demands more than just visibility; it requires empathy, vision, and a genuine connection with the people. Wendy embodies these qualities, even if she doesn't always appear in commercials.

Regarding Geico's philanthropic efforts, while commendable, they do not overshadow Wendy's own contributions to society. Wendy's restaurants actively engage in community outreach, supporting local initiatives, charities, and disaster relief efforts. Wendy's commitment to making a difference in people's lives goes beyond the confines of a marketing campaign.
 Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

 Wendy's Distributes More Than $275K to Charities across the World - Columbus Urban League Columbus Urban League (cul.org)

The reliability of insurance coverage is indeed important, but leadership extends beyond financial transactions. Wendy's leadership is about inspiring and uplifting communities, fostering a sense of belonging and unity. Her vision for the world transcends insurance policies; it's about creating a better future for all.

Lastly, Wendy's approach to engagement may differ from the Gecko's, but it doesn't diminish her effectiveness as a leader. Wendy's focus is on substantive action and genuine connection, rather than flashy marketing gimmicks. Her authenticity speaks volumes, resonating deeply with those who value integrity and sincerity in leadership.

In essence, while the Geico Gecko may have a strong presence in advertisements, Wendy's leadership qualities shine through in her actions and the values she represents. In a world hungry for genuine leadership, Wendy stands as a beacon of hope and inspiration for us all.

Also your dude can easily get crushed by a clumsy aid, and let's not even get into the recent scandals with Geico: 

GEICO to face class action over allegations of privacy breach | Insurance Business America (insurancebusinessmag.com)

Geico must face California class action claiming it overcharged on car insurance | Reuters

Oh dear. It's a proper election campaign now. The mudslinging has begun. 

 

[DSkillz]

2 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

I don't know why you even want to win this one so badly, you're already at the top.  You can afford to lose one. 

Hey, man, why not?  I don't exactly have an insurmountable lead at the moment. Besides, a little more debate may be good for forums traffic. 

2 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

The presence of the Geico Gecko in advertisements doesn't necessarily translate to effective leadership qualities. While the Gecko may be charming and ubiquitous, his role is primarily as a corporate spokesperson. Leadership demands more than just visibility; it requires empathy, vision, and a genuine connection with the people. Wendy embodies these qualities, even if she doesn't always appear in commercials.

Wendy has the same role, but she's barely been even that because virtually the only time she's ever seen are the portraits of her on the product. Leadership may not just involve visibility, but it would be pretty difficult to effectively lead if you're not being seen in person by the very people of which you're campaigning for. 

Meanwhile, the Gecko has shown plenty of empathy, vision, and one-on-one connection through the multitudes of ads he's personally been in the past couple of decades. 

2 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

Regarding Geico's philanthropic efforts, while commendable, they do not overshadow Wendy's own contributions to society. Wendy's restaurants actively engage in community outreach, supporting local initiatives, charities, and disaster relief efforts. Wendy's commitment to making a difference in people's lives goes beyond the confines of a marketing campaign.
 Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

 Wendy's Distributes More Than $275K to Charities across the World - Columbus Urban League Columbus Urban League (cul.org)

GEICO hasn't been too shabby in the donation department, either. For the past 40+ years, the GEICO Philanthropic Foundation has averaged $6-8 million in donations annually. Adding it all up, that comes out to around $240-320 million in donations in its time: 

GEICO Philanthropic Foundation Grant | Instrumentl 

Not to mention the numerous non-monetary donations they've made over the years. 

2 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

Also your dude can easily get crushed by a clumsy aid, and let's not even get into the recent scandals with Geico: 

GEICO to face class action over allegations of privacy breach | Insurance Business America (insurancebusinessmag.com)

Geico must face California class action claiming it overcharged on car insurance | Reuters

Let's not then forget all the Rule 34 that's been applied to Wendy (which I'm obviously not going to post here, heh), and there's likely a lot more of on her than the Gecko. To make matter worse, she won't even show up to defend her own honor. 

2 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

Oh dear. It's a proper election campaign now. The mudslinging has begun. 

Heh, heh, yeah, if we go too much deeper, we both might get kicked from the site for getting too political. XD. 

[Mercenaryblade]

3 hours ago, DSkillz said:

Hey, man, why not?  I don't exactly have an insurmountable lead at the moment. Besides, a little more debate may be good for forums traffic. 

Wendy has the same role, but she's barely been even that because virtually the only time she's ever seen are the portraits of her on the product. Leadership may not just involve visibility, but it would be pretty difficult to effectively lead if you're not being seen in person by the very people of which you're campaigning for. 

Meanwhile, the Gecko has shown plenty of empathy, vision, and one-on-one connection through the multitudes of ads he's personally been in the past couple of decades. 

GEICO hasn't been too shabby in the donation department, either. For the past 40+ years, the GEICO Philanthropic Foundation has averaged $6-8 million in donations annually. Adding it all up, that comes out to around $240-320 million in donations in its time: 

GEICO Philanthropic Foundation Grant | Instrumentl 

Not to mention the numerous non-monetary donations they've made over the years. 

Let's not then forget all the Rule 34 that's been applied to Wendy (which I'm obviously not going to post here, heh), and there's likely a lot more of on her than the Gecko. To make matter worse, she won't even show up to defend her own honor. 

Heh, heh, yeah, if we go too much deeper, we both might get kicked from the site for getting too political. XD. 

While it's true that Wendy's public appearances may be limited compared to the Gecko's frequent presence in ads, effective leadership is not solely determined by personal visibility. Wendy's role extends beyond marketing; it's about embodying enduring values and making a tangible impact.

Wendy's presence on product packaging is a testament to her iconic status, serving as a reminder of the values she represents. In a world saturated with images, Wendy's simplicity stands out, reflecting a commitment to timeless values that resonate with the public.

The Geico Gecko's personal appearances in ads do showcase his charisma, but leadership requires more than just charm. It demands substance and a deep understanding of the challenges people face. Wendy's history of community engagement, philanthropy, and support for various causes demonstrates a hands-on approach to leadership, even if it's not always in the spotlight.

While Geico's philanthropic efforts are commendable, Wendy's impact is not solely measured in monetary terms. Her leadership is about fostering a sense of community and shared values, creating a lasting connection with people. Wendy's commitment to making a difference is evident in the tangible support her restaurants provide to local communities.

Regarding the issue of inappropriate art, it's important to recognize that public figures, including mascots, can face challenges in managing their public image. Wendy's decision to not engage with inappropriate content may be a strategic choice to maintain focus on her positive impact and values rather than getting entangled in controversies. People making R34 art is not reflective on Wendy, and her choosing to not engage is a good strategy, as it would only add more attention to it. Take Blizzard clamping down on Overwatch R34 stuff. It merely fanned the blaze.

Also in the end humans are more likely to vote for another human than a reptile. In fact there's probably a good potion of the population that will bring up the whole Reptilian conspiracy theory, this would be the perfect smoking gun for them.  

[DSkillz]

On 1/28/2024 at 5:10 AM, Mercenaryblade said:

While it's true that Wendy's public appearances may be limited compared to the Gecko's frequent presence in ads, effective leadership is not solely determined by personal visibility. Wendy's role extends beyond marketing; it's about embodying enduring values and making a tangible impact.

Wendy's presence on product packaging is a testament to her iconic status, serving as a reminder of the values she represents. In a world saturated with images, Wendy's simplicity stands out, reflecting a commitment to timeless values that resonate with the public.

The Geico Gecko's personal appearances in ads do showcase his charisma, but leadership requires more than just charm. It demands substance and a deep understanding of the challenges people face. Wendy's history of community engagement, philanthropy, and support for various causes demonstrates a hands-on approach to leadership, even if it's not always in the spotlight.

While Geico's philanthropic efforts are commendable, Wendy's impact is not solely measured in monetary terms. Her leadership is about fostering a sense of community and shared values, creating a lasting connection with people. Wendy's commitment to making a difference is evident in the tangible support her restaurants provide to local communities.

Regarding the issue of inappropriate art, it's important to recognize that public figures, including mascots, can face challenges in managing their public image. Wendy's decision to not engage with inappropriate content may be a strategic choice to maintain focus on her positive impact and values rather than getting entangled in controversies. People making R34 art is not reflective on Wendy, and her choosing to not engage is a good strategy, as it would only add more attention to it. Take Blizzard clamping down on Overwatch R34 stuff. It merely fanned the blaze.

Also in the end humans are more likely to vote for another human than a reptile. In fact there's probably a good potion of the population that will bring up the whole Reptilian conspiracy theory, this would be the perfect smoking gun for them.  

You keep repeating how effective of a leader Wendy apparently could be without actually pointing out anything she'd do better than the GECIO Gecko. Since she's not even an active spokeswoman for her own brand, we don't know how much effect she actually has on it behind the scenes. 

[Mercenaryblade]

26 minutes ago, DSkillz said:

You keep repeating how effective of a leader Wendy apparently could be without actually pointing out anything she'd do better than the GECIO Gecko. Since she's not even an active spokeswoman for her own brand, we don't know how much effect she actually has on it behind the scenes. 

You haven't denied your candidate is a cog in the reptilian takeover. 

Also Wendy controls all aspects of her franchise, mean tweeting Pippi Longstocking for the win. 

[DSkillz]

3 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

You haven't denied your candidate is a cog in the reptilian takeover. 

Maybe because only a relatively-small part of the population actually buys into that type of thing? 

3 hours ago, Mercenaryblade said:

Also Wendy controls all aspects of her franchise, mean tweeting Pippi Longstocking for the win. 

Still waiting to see proof of that. 

[DSkillz]

On 1/27/2024 at 8:44 PM, Mercenaryblade said:

Dramatic music plays as the screen fades from black to an image of the globe spinning. Voiceover begins.

In a world where leadership matters, two contenders step onto the global stage. Wendy, the symbol of fast food excellence, and the Geico Gecko, a mere reptile with big dreams.

[Cut to a shot of Wendy, standing tall and confident, with an American flag waving behind her.]

Wendy stands for hard work, innovation, and the pursuit of deliciousness for all.

[Cut to a contrasting shot of the Geico Gecko, looking mischievous against a murky background.]

But the Gecko? He's just a smooth-talking reptile, peddling insurance policies with a smirk.

[Cut to a series of images showing Wendy engaging with people of diverse backgrounds, smiling and serving food.]

Wendy has spent her career bringing people together, serving up smiles and satisfaction in every bite. She's a unifier, a beacon of hope in a world of uncertainty.

[Cut to footage of the Geico Gecko, surrounded by stacks of paperwork, looking overwhelmed.]

Meanwhile, the Gecko is drowning in bureaucracy, lost in a maze of paperwork. Can we trust someone who can't even navigate their own office to lead the world?

[Cut to a split-screen comparison: Wendy on one side, vibrant and engaging, and the Gecko on the other, looking small and insignificant.]

Wendy embodies strength, integrity, and the power of the people. The Gecko? He's just a corporate mascot, out of his depth in the deep waters of global politics.

[Cut to a final shot of Wendy, smiling confidently into the camera, with the slogan displayed prominently: "Wendy for World Leader: Serving Up Success for All."]

The choice is clear. When it comes to leadership, don't settle for a gecko. Choose Wendy, the true champion of the people.

[End with the image of Wendy's smiling face and the sound of a bell ringing, signaling victory.]

This actually got some of my creative juices flowing, so late as this is, here we go: 

As the GEICO Gecko stands on his podium, he can only shake his head and smile at his opponent's bombastic display. 

"Wonderful show, love," says the Gecko with a chuckle. "I'm sorry to say, though, that I feel that I'm being misrepresented here. Allow me to remind the audience what I am really about." 

A huge, widescreen monitor slowly lowers from above the stage the Gecko is speaking from until it is a few feet from the stage floor and a few yards behind the GEICO mascot and his podium. 

Seconds later, a full montage showing various moments of the beloved reptilian mascot's various encounters with citizens around the globe plays on the monitor. 

"As you can see, I am certainly not the type to stay behind a desk all day long," the Gecko says after the montage concludes, eliciting some giggles from the audience. "I have gladly made many appearances, I have talked to and helped out the people, and I've always presented myself as the honest, self-depreciating bloke that I am. As your president, I can not only provide my earnest approach to lending a helping hand, but I can also promise to save you all hundreds on the best car and home insurance in the world. Sure, fast food will whet your appetite for a little while, but nothing will bring you most lasting comfort than having dependable insurance for the rest of your days." 

For almost a full minute, the audience in attendance cheers after the Gecko's speech, only slowly subsiding when he gently gestures his hands. 

"But, since I am a gentleman and am willing to give anyone a sporting chance, and since my opponent went to the trouble of making such an elaborate video, surely Wendy herself is willing to come forward and present her case to the world. We were supposed to have a debate today, after all."

A few minutes of silence are followed by a low, curious murmur from the audience while all await the arrival of the fast-food giant's leading lady. 

"Bu-but ..., " a woman stammers in the distance, breaking the relative quiet. 

"Go, go! The company needs you out there!" another voice loudly whispers. 

Everyone's attention is diverted as a red-headed woman stumbles down a lane between the seats after being roughly shoved forward. 

"Here I am. Hi, everyone!" the woman announces with a nervous giggle as she steps toward the stage. 

"Well, if it isn't the lady of the evening herself!" the Gecko says. "Give her a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen!" 

The audience begins to cheer before it is interrupted by a voice yelling out.  

"Wait a minute! That ain't the little girl from the logo!" 

"Yeah, that's the lady from Wendy's commercials from way back when!" another voice chimes in. 

"Nah, wasn't she in Veep?" another voice asks. 

There is a loud murmur from the audience, followed by a chorus of boos as they recognize the woman as actress Morgan Smith-Goodwin, the one-time Wendy's spokeswoman. Morgan herself then runs off in embarrassment. 

"Come back! Without you standing in, Wendy doesn't stand a chance to --, " another woman shouts, her voice trailing off as she runs after Morgan. 

"Settle down, ladies and gentlemen," the Gecko urges to the crowd after his initial shock at the situation, shaking his head. "It's a shame that Wendy's did that to one of their own girls, but I guess it shows that it pays to have good representation for the people. If Wendy herself isn't willing to present her case in-person, then I guess that she may not be the woman for the job after all." 

"As your president, I can promise that I will always be there for the people of Earth," the Gecko concludes. "A vote for me is a vote for dependable insurance for life!" 

The crowd erupts in cheers and applause. 

[UMPIRE]

Match Final Results

Wendy: 6
GEICO Gecko: 2

[Mercenaryblade]

2 hours ago, UMPIRE said:

Match Final Results

Wendy: 6
GEICO Gecko: 2

The people have spoken.

Wow, actually won one of these where I had to debate. 

[Opening Scene: Bright and uplifting music plays as the screen transitions from black to a bustling cityscape, filled with diverse people going about their daily lives.]

Voiceover: Today, we celebrate a victory—a victory for truth, integrity, and genuine leadership.

[Cut to footage of supporters cheering and waving flags emblazoned with Wendy's iconic logo.]

Voiceover: Against all odds, the people have spoken. They have chosen Wendy as their champion—a beacon of hope in a world of uncertainty.

[Montage of Wendy engaging with people from all walks of life: serving food, lending a helping hand, and sharing smiles.]

Voiceover: Wendy's victory is not just a win for her, but for each and every one of us. It's a testament to the power of community, compassion, and the unwavering spirit of humanity.

[Transition to scenes of celebration, with confetti raining down and people embracing in joyous hugs.]

Voiceover: Today, we stand united, inspired by the values that Wendy represents—hard work, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of excellence.

[Cut to a final shot of Wendy, standing tall and proud, with a radiant smile lighting up her face.]

Voiceover: Congratulations, Wendy, on your well-deserved victory. Together, we look forward to a brighter future, guided by your leadership and the promise of a better tomorrow.

[End with the image of Wendy's smiling face and the sound of applause, echoing the hope and optimism of a new era.]

[DSkillz]

6 hours ago, UMPIRE said:

Match Final Results

Wendy: 6
GEICO Gecko: 2

Definitely didn't see this coming.