Tournament - MST3K vs. Athena (Tomorrowland)

[JohnnyChany]

Mike Nelson strolled onto the bridge of the Satellite of Love, greeted by the sight of Crow and Tom Servo engaged in a heated debate. 

"You take it back, Servo, you take it back right now. Mickey Mouse is the epitome of joy and happiness! He has brought smiles to millions of faces worldwide," Crow exclaimed.

Tom Servo shook his head. "You're deluded, Crow. Mickey Mouse is nothing but a symbol of corporate hegemony, a tyrant in disguise, seeking to control and commodify every aspect of our lives!"

Their bickering came to an abrupt halt as Mike entered the scene. 

"What's going on here?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow at the feuding bots.

Crow turned to Mike, his golden beak twitching with indignation. "Mike, you gotta settle this. Is Mickey Mouse a benevolent icon or an imperialistic tyrant?"

Mike chuckled and shrugged. "I don’t know if I have an answer. I can see both sides of the argument." 

His demeanor then changed as the inanity of the argument served as another bitter reminder of his day to day to life on the Satellite talking about nothing. His eyes fell on the flashing button in front of them, signaling an incoming call from Pearl Forrester. Mike pressed the button, and the screen flickered to life, revealing Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy, their faces grinning with mischief.

"Hello, Satellite of Love! Ready for today’s experiment?" Pearl's voice rang out, dripping with malicious glee.

Mike exchanged resigned glances with Crow and Tom Servo. "What do you have for us this time, Pearl?"

Pearl leaned in. Her eyes gleamed with ill intent. "Since you seem to have Disney on the brain, I've got the perfect movie for today's feature. Get ready, because I promise it'll be a magical ride to a land full of wonder!"

Crow briefly perked up. “That sounds promising.”

“Today's feature presentation is the 2015 flop, Tomorrowland, starring George Clooney, Britt Robertson, and Hugh Laurie. A bright teenage girl and a bitter old inventor are whisked away to another dimension where futuristic minds are gathered to bring about the technology of tomorrow. High off the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean, the House of Mouse decided to see what other theme park attractions they could bleed for a buck on the big screen, and well you'll see the results," she announced. “Because why settle for a Disney classic when you can have a critical disaster?”

Crow hung his head in disappointment, his hopes for a Disney marathon dashed by Pearl’s sadistic choice.

“We don’t have time to be sad, we’ve got Movie Sign!” Mike noted.

Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo filled their way into the theater and to their seats. Their silhouettes partially blocked the lowest portion of the screen.

As the title card for the movie flashed across the screen, Mike and the bots began making commentary with their trademark sardonic banter.

 

"Tomorrowland, the dreamland of the procrastinators. We promise to get there.... eventually."

"I personally can't wait for the film adaptation of my favorite theme park experience, the line for the last churro."

 

 

"Do you think the casting director took it as a challenge to find a kid who looks the least like George Clooney?"

"Challenge accepted and challenge completed!"

 

 

"Girl! Girl! Stay calm you've trained for this day."

"Who at Tomorrowland came up with the novel idea of luring a young nerdy shy inventor with the attention of a pretty girl? They really are geniuses over there."

 

 

"I had already forgotten that Diet Coke Jennifer Lawerence was starring in this picture."

"Is it really accurate to say starring in this picture? Wouldn't it be more apt to say contractually obligated to this picture?"

 

 

"We've got the blue light special in aisle 8, suckers!"

"If you aren't intimidated yet, wait until we turn on the flashers."

 

 

"I'm just going to come out and say it. Clooney was more convincing with the bat nipples."

 

 

"She is easily the most charming propagandist recruiter that I have ever come across."

"Yeah and she kicks butt. A major win in my book."

"I will follow you anywhere, Athena."

 

 

"I'm sorry, but the diagnosis for a record setting 18th time this week is Lupus. How would you like to die?"

"You know the thing that made Dr. House so engaging was that he was a witty, funny, asshole. They have managed to bring over only one of those traits with this guy."

 

 

"Mike, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. I feel like somebody needs to stop this and the proper authorities need to be contacted."

"She isn't actually a little girl you know; she is a machine. She is probably older than he is."

"Is that supposed to make it better?"

"I don't think it is a romantic look anyway, more of an appreciation and fondness for their past and their connection. It's kinda sweet."

"Don't defend this, Nelson."

 

After the credits rolled, Mike found himself alone on the bridge of the Satellite of Love. 

“A hidden rocket in the Eiffel tower that no one had ever noticed before, how absurd. What was that about?” he mused.

Suddenly, Athena from Tomorrowland approached him, holding out the Tomorrowland pin.

"Mike Nelson, would you like to do some real good in the world with your robotic engineering genius, or are you content to make friends to poke fun at movies with?" she asked, her voice calm and serene.

Mike blinked, thinking it was some elaborate joke. "Crow? Tom Servo?"

The robots appeared, equally surprised by Athena's presence.

Crow gasped. “Whoa! Athena’s here. How did you pull that off, Mike?”

Mike was confused. “You guys aren’t behind this.”

Tom Servo shook his head. “No, not even a little bit.”

Mike regarded Athena. “You are actually here and actually real?”

“As real as you are,” Athena replied with a smile. “I have come for you, Mike Nelson. Just as you have just watched this movie about us, we have been watching you and want to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime.”

Mike was quiet for a moment as he absorbed what was happening.

“So you know, I didn’t actually create Crow or Tom Servo or Gypsy, that was a guy named Joel,” he finally stated.

“No need for modesty, Mike, we have seen you maintain and even improve upon the robots here. But you could be doing so much more. That is unless you are content to spend the rest of your days mocking movies in this isolated space prison.” 

Mike was taken aback. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Panic began to rise inside Tom Servo. “I know what you should say, no. Say no and step away from the adorable little British android.”

“You can’t abandon us now, Mike. You just can’t. It’ll be like Joel all over again. We’ll develop a complex,” Crow pleaded.

Mike looked back and forth between his robotic pals and Athena and her Tomorrowland pin, unsure of what to do.

[Callisto]

Learn More About
MST3K
Read more about MST3K at Wikipedia
Official Site: Best Brains (only sells merch) via offic Links: Wikipedia Entry MST3K temple MST3K Official Info Site

Athena (Tomorrowland)
Read more about Athena (Tomorrowland) at Wikipedia
Official Site: Disney Links: Wikipedia

[Venom 2009]

Nice to see a match with the MST3K crew. I give the setup a 5.0.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - Pizza Guy
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.70 - Boratz
3.20 - C.T.

FPA Calculation:
4 Total Votes cast
17.90 Total Combined Score
17.90 / 4 = 4.47 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
MST3K: 4
Athena (Tomorrowland): 0