Match 20629 Jessie vs. James (Pokémon)

[broadwaybeyonder]

Jessie and James stood at attention in a circular, metallic chamber.  They stared up at the screen that loomed over them that displayed their boss Giovanni sitting in his chair and stroking his Persian, his face obscured by shadows.  In the back of the room, Jessie and James’ Wobbuffet shifted nervously on it’s legs as Giovanni’s voice echoed in the chamber. 

“I have ordered you two to capture the Pikachu belonging to Ash Ketchum.  1,000 times you have tried, and 1,000 times you have failed!  Miserably!  But this latest fiasco is a level of failure I did not believe even YOU were capable of!” 

“It’s not my fault, Giovanni sir!” Jessie wailed, pointing at James.  “James didn’t throw the bomb when I told him!” 

“But you didn’t fly the hot air balloon like I told you!” James whined. 

“Woooooobbuffet!” 

“SILENCE!” 

Team Rocket and their Pokemon clung to each other in terror.  “Of all the times for Meowth to go on vacation!” moaned James.  “He’d know what to say to get us out of this dilemma!” 

“And straight into a new one!” said Jessie. 

“Woooobbuffet!” 

“ENOUGH!” 

Jessie and James whimpered as Giovanni shooed away his Persian.  “I have made my decision.  I will not allow my organization to be made a mockery by your constant bungling!  Therefore, one of you will be fired from Team Rocket!” 

Jessie and James gasped.  Their Wobbuffet just stood in confusion trying understand what Giovanni meant by ‘fired’.  “Well, Jessie,” James sighed, pulling her in for a hug.  “We’ve had some great times.  I sure will miss you when you are gone.” 

Jessie nodded solemnly, then instantly her face became taut with anger.  “What do you mean when I’M gone?!”  She slapped James who fell on his backside.  “I’m much more qualified to be a part of an evil organization than YOU are!” she yelled.  “Besides I’m too pretty to go on unemployment!” 

“Well, I don’t want to go!” James snapped back as he scrambled to his feet.  “Where else could I go to steal other people’s Pokemon and get paid for it?!” 

Jessie whirled around to the screen and put on her best smile.  “Giovanni, sir.  Surely you wouldn’t ever dream of firing me, would you?” 

“I promise I can do better, sir!” chimed in James.  “I’ll capture Pikachu!  I’ll catch any Pokemon you want!  I’ll empty Persian’s litter box!” 

“Stop your brown nosing, both of you!” snarled Giovanni.  “There is only one way for you to save your job.  The two of you are going to face off, one on one, in a fight!” 

Jessie and James froze and glanced at each other.  The Wobbuffet looked even more confused. 

“Wobbbuffet?” 

“A fight?” asked Jessie. 

“Like a Pokemon battle?” asked James. 

“No, you dopes!” said Giovanni.  He cleared his voice before starting again.  “No Pokemon, just you!  Last member of Team Rocket standing keeps their job!” 

“But mother told me to never hit a woman!” said James. 

Jessie instantly delivered a right hand to James’ face that sent him into the wall.  “Then this should be an easy victory for me!” she smirked.  James nursed his jaw, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a bomb.  “Then again, mother never told me anything about throwing a bomb at a woman!” 

“Wait!” 

“What, Jesse?” 

“Don’t you think we could do the thing?  One more time?” 

“What thing?” 

“You know what thing!  The thing we always do!” 

“Oh!  That thing!  I suppose, for old time’s sake.” 

Jessie and James nodded and stood across from each other as they went into the Team Rocket motto. 

“Prepare for trouble!  There’s no way to avoid!” 

“And make it double!  You’ll be unemployed!” 

“To protect the world from devastation!” 

“To unite all peoples within our nation!” 

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!” 

“To extend our reach to the stars above!” 

“Jessie!” 

“James!” 

“Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!” 

“Surrender now or prepare to fight!” 

“Woooooooobbuffet!” 

Giovanni groaned.  “Sheesh.  Maybe I’ll get lucky, and they’ll kill each other.” 

 

OK:

Jessie and James have access to their Team Rocket equipment.  They are not allowed to use their Pokemon.  Last one standing wins. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Jessie
Read more about Jessie at Wikipedia
Official Site: Nintendo Links: Wikipedia Entry Pokemopolis TR page Official Pokemon Site

James (Pokémon)
Read more about James (Pokémon) at Wikipedia
Official Site: Nintendo Links: Wikipedia Entry Pokemopolis TR page Official Pokemon Site

[RakaiThwei]

No one's commented on this yet?

I'm going with Jesse.

[Venom 2009]

Good match. I give the setup a 5.0. I think Jesse will win here.

-------

To @IKA, I try to click on James' profile, but I keep getting this message that says, Bad Request.

Edited: I got it fixed. It was happing to all characters that had (Pokémon) in their name. Just needed to change the links and edited the e's in the names of the Pokemon characters.

[DSkillz]

Good set-up, broadway. I haven't watched Pokémon in a looooonng time, but from what I remember, you seem to have everyone right in-character. 

As for the match? From what I remember, Jessie and James fought mainly with their Pokémon with some underhanded tricks thrown in.

Without their Pokémon? I guess Jessie would win, since she seemed to be the more ruthless of the two. I somehow don't think things would get deadly or even that serious between them, though. As often as they screwed up and got each other mad, they always tended to stick by one another. Given the nature of the show, I could see them start to fight when they're interrupted by yet another opportunity to capture Pikachu.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.50 - DSkillz
5.00 - Venom 2009

FPA Calculation:
2 Total Votes cast
9.50 Total Combined Score
9.50 / 2 = 4.75 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Jessie: 3
James (Pokemon): 0

[broadwaybeyonder]

THE BOTTOM LINE

James hurled three bombs at Jessie and the blast sent her flying into the chamber wall.  Her head snapped back and clanged against metal making her see stars. 

“No, mother, don’t make me go to school today,” she moaned incoherently. 

“Another hit like that and you’ll blasting off for the final time!” James said with glee.  He pulled out another bomb and hurled it, but Jessie fell down face first and the bomb blew the wall apart instead, filling the room with smoke and debris. 

“Stop wrecking my headquarters, moron!” Giovanni snapped.  “Get in there and finish her off!” 

James gave a quick salute.  “Yes sir, Giovanni sir!  I’ve got it all under control!” 

James stumbled over the rubble to where he saw Jessie fall, but his partner was nowhere to be seen.  “Well, this is unusual,” said James.  “Maybe I used too big an explosive and she…” 

Jessie leapt out of the smoke behind James and tackled him to the ground.  She yanked James’ arm behind him and repeatedly slammed his head on the metal tiles.  Jessie shrieked with rage with every hit.  “You betrayed our friendship!  You tried to blow me up!  And worst of all… YOU RUINED MY HAIR!” 

“OW!  Jessie!  OW!  Stoppit that hurts!  You know I don’t like pain OWWW!”    

 After laying in a few more shots, Jessie released James and sprang to her feet.  She tossed her hair and smiled up at the screen.  “Well, I guess that’s that.  James has surrendered, so I win!” 

“Are you kidding?!  Just like that?!  That was barely a fight!  You two losers can’t even have a fight to the death right!” 

James nursed his arm and looked at Jessie in confusion.  “I don’t remember the boss ever sounding like that before.  Do you, Jessie?” 

Jessie’s eyes narrowed as she took a step forward.  “No, I don’t, James.  And that voice is starting to sound almost familiar.” 

“Enough of this!  I order you to have another fight, and this time you’ll be using your Pokémon!” 

Jessie raised a finger to her lips and gestured to James.  The pair peaked out of the hole in the wall left behind by James’ bomb.  Down the hallway they could see a closed door with the voice of ‘Giovanni’ coming from the other side. 

“Now you better follow my orders!  I might just fire both of you from Team Rocket!  I want some action and I want it now!” 

Jessie and James walked on tip toe to either side of the door.  Wobbufet crawled out into the hallway after them, nursing it’s injured head and moaning.  “Wo wo wooooobbufet!” 

“Shush, Wobbufet!” Jessie hissed.  “Now get over here, and knock down this door so we can get down to the bottom of this!” 

Wobbufet shrugged and nodded.  “Wo bu.  WooooooooooBBUFEEEEET!” 

Giving a mighty yell, Wobbufet charged passed Jessie and James, and through the door, leaving a Wobbufet shaped hole behind it.  Jessie and James squeezed through the gap to see a figure in a suit sitting at a desk. 

“Giovanni, sir!” James gulped.  “We’re so sorry to disturb you!”  There was a thud as Wobbufet finished their headlong dash into a filing cabinet.  However, ‘Giovanni’ remained frozen in his chair.  “Er, well, that’s alright,” said ‘Giovanni’, no longer sounded as confident.  “Just clear off and I’ll let you both stay on Team Rocket!” 

“I’ve got a better idea!” said Jessie.  She stamped over to the table and grabbed at the figure.  “How about you tell us where our boss is, you phony!” 

The figure in the suit began to morph and shift, causing the suit to fall limp in Jessie’s hands.  In surprise she dropped it to the floor.  A second later, a purple face peaked out from the pile of clothes. 

“Ditto!” 

“A… Ditto?!” gasped James.  “We’ve been outplayed by a Ditto?!” 

“Don’t be silly, James!” snapped Jessie.  “A Ditto can only look like other people.  It can’t talk like them!” 

“Then where was that voice coming from?” 

“Wobu!  Wobu!” 

Jessie and James turned to see Wobbufet urgently pointed at the filing cabinet.  Sharing a nod, Team Rocket walked over to the filing cabinet, and yanked open one of the drawers to find… 

“MEOWTH?!” 

The cat Pokémon was curled up in the filing cabinet clutching a microphone.  Next to him was a head piece designed to resemble a Persian.  He chuckled nervously as he looked up at his allies.  “Oh, hi guys!  How’s it going?” 

“Don’t play cute with us!” shouted James. 

“You were manipulating us to fight each other!” yelled Jessie. 

“I was just messing around!” begged Meowth.  “I didn’t mean nothing by it!” 

Jessie and James glanced at each other.  “Well,” said Jessie.  “It was a pretty underhanded thing to do.” 

“Which is exactly the kind of thing we want from a member of Team Rocket!” said James. 

Meowth let out a sigh of relief.  “So you guys aren’t steamed about me pretending to be the boss?”  Jessie and James’ smiles had a definite edge to them as they helped Meowth out of the cabinet.  “Of course not, dear Meowth,” soothed James.  “We’re glad to have you on Team Rocket.” 

“Provided you pass our little test,” said Jessie, reaching into her belt and pulling out a bomb. 

Meowth gulped as he noticed Jessie and James both arming themselves.  “Heh heh.  I really was never one for tests.  Is this open book?” 

“More like open season,” said James. 

“On Meowths!” sneered Jessie. 

The pair hurled their bombs and the explosion sent Meowth flying into the hall.  “Guess I better hurry before I start blasting off again!” the hapless Pokémon groaned.  As he ran down the hallway, James offered Jessie a hand to help step over Ditto.  “You know, James, there’s no one I’d rather be bad with than you.” 

“I guess you could say that’s ‘ditto’ for me, Jessie!” 

“Don’t push it.  Now let's bomb that Pokémon!” 

Team Rocket ran off after Meowth, leaving Ditto to gaze up at the still supremely confused Wobbufet. 

“Ditto?” 

Wobbufet could only shrug.  “Wooooobbufet.”