Match 20690 Uncle Sam vs. Hulk Hogan

[broadwaybeyonder]

Gorilla Monsoon: Hello, everyone!  Welcome to the World Wrestling Federation, live from Madison Square Garden!  Alongside my colleague Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura, I’m Gorilla Monsoon and together we will be calling the action that will cap off a very festive 4^th of July. 

Jesse Ventura: Or it’ll just be a complete waste of time.  I can’t believe you dragged me away from the west coast for this, Gorilla! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Take it up with Jack Tunney, Jess.  You see, folks, we here at the WWF are as in the dark as all of you.  A few weeks ago, Jack Tunney, president of the WWF, announced that he had received a letter.  We do not know the full extent of contents, only that they detailed a challenge laid out to the WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. 

Jesse Ventura: And do we know who sent the letter, Gorilla? 

Gorilla Monsoon: Well, the letter was signed Uncle Sam. 

Jesse Ventura: Suuure.  And the Easter Bunny delivered it and the Tooth Fairy licked the stamp! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Oh, will you stop! 

Jesse Ventura: You first, Gorilla!  Uncle Sam?!  This whole thing is just some publicity stunt by Hogan!  I’d stake my reputation on it! 

Gorilla Monsoon: I’m glad to see you’re betting conservatively, Jess. 

Jesse Ventura: You keep politics out of this! 

Gorilla Monsoon: The point is, fans, is that this ‘Uncle Sam’ character said in the letter that he wanted this match to take place so that the proceeds could go to the VFW.  He wasn’t interested in fighting for the WWF championship. 

Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura: Which goes to show how much of a nut this guy is!  If he even shows up! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Let’s go to the back where Gene Okerlund is with the champ Hulk Hogan.  Gene? 

Gene Okerlund: Thanks, Gorilla.  I’m here with the WWF Champion, and Hulk, I know you are feeling the excitement in the air from those Hulkamaniacs in the Garden.  But your brain must be racing thinking about this Independence Day challenge. 

Hulk Hogan: Well, let me tell ya, Mean Gene!  The Hulkster has never backed down from a fight!  No matter what the challenge, no matter the obstacle, I’ll power through and get the job done, brother!  That’s the spirit that helped give birth to this country!  It’s the spirit the lives in the hearts of all those Hulkamaniacs!  And it’s the spirit that got me to the WWF championship!  It’s the spirt of America and the power of Hulkamania!  So when Jack Tunney picks up the phone, telling me about somebody wanting to wrestle me on the 4^th of July in Madison Square Garden, I didn’t even have to think about it!  I knew that I wanted to do it for the WWF fans, all the little Hulksters out there, and give a little something back to those veterans who put it all on the line for our country, brother!  So as far my opponent, this ‘Uncle Sam’, is concerned, it don’t matter to me whether he’s Uncle Sam, Uncle Floyd, or Uncle Fester!  I’ve done the training, the prayers, and the vitamins, and I’m ready for anyone and anything that walks down that aisle and into that ring!  So the question for you is, ‘Uncle Sam’, what cha gonna do, when Hulk Hogan on July 4^th runs wild on you?! 

Gene Okerlund: The WWF Champion ready for action, folks!  Back to you, Monsoon and Ventura! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Hulk Hogan as confident as ever, Jesse. 

Jesse Ventura: Of course he is, he knows he’s not going to be fighting anybody! 

Iron Sheik Theme (youtube.com)

Gorilla Monsoon: Now what’s this all about?!  That’s the music of the Iron Sheik! 

Jesse Ventura: And there he is coming down the aisle with his buddy Nikolai Volkoff and manager Freddie Blassie! 

Gorilla Monsoon: And look at how they’re dressed!  Decked out in red, white, and blue, sporting fake Uncle Sam beards and hats! 

Jesse Ventura: The crowd doesn’t seem to appreciate the outfits!  They sure look better than some of the clowns in the audience. 

Gorilla Monsoon: Well, it is the Fourth of July, but this is certainly a switch.  Most of the time they can’t stop disparaging our country.  Now Sheik has grabbed the mic from Howard Finkel, and they make their way into the ring. 

Iron Sheik: You stupid Americans shut up when I’m speaking to you!  Don’t go chanting “USA!  USA!!” 

Crowd: USA!!  USA!!  USA!! 

Jesse Ventura: That’s the thing about these New Yorkers, Gorilla: no class! 

Gorilla Monsoon: What do you expect, Jesse?  Your man just called them stupid and told them not to chant USA on the 4^th of July! 

Iron Sheik: Sheik and Volkoff know about your Uncle Sam!  We know that he is a fake!  Not real!  That is why Mr. Blassie bring us here, to make fools of you American pigs and that animal Hulk Hogan! 

Gorilla Monsoon: I knew there had to be a catch with these two! 

Jesse Ventura: Hey, you’re the one who thought some guy on a poster was going to actually show up in the ring tonight, Gorilla. 

Iron Sheik: Now Sheik and Volkoff will show you Americans what real patriotism looks like!  You will all rise and be silent as Volkoff sings Soviet National anthem! 

Hulk Hogan Real American (official video) / Theme Song - YouTube

Gorilla Monsoon: Oh boy!  We aren’t going to be hearing from Volkoff tonight! 

Jesse Ventura: And here comes the showoff! 

Gorilla Monsoon: The Garden has gone bananas as the WWF Champion charges to the ring!  He’s pointing the finger at the Sheik!  Sheik’s backing off into the corner as Hogan corners him! 

Jesse Ventura: And there’s ol’ Nikolai with a Soviet flag to the back of Hogan’s head! 

Gorilla Monsoon: The champ is on his own!  Blassie rolls to the outside and is barking orders!  The crowd is ballistic as Sheik and Volkoff advance on either side of Hogan! 

Jesse Ventura: This is what happens when you let patriotism override your brain!  Now Hogan’s gonna pay for it! 

Lee Greenwood - God Bless The U.S.A. - YouTube

Jesse Ventura: Now what?!

Gorilla Monsoon: Jesse!  Look who’s coming down the aisle!  I can’t believe my eyes! 

Jesse Ventura: You’ve got to be kidding! 

Gorilla Monsoon:  America’s uncle!  Uncle Sam! 

Jesse Ventura:  I bet you sound like that when you see a guy dressed up as Santa Claus ringing a bell on a street corner! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Nikolai and the Sheik are stunned!  Blassie is calling them out of the ring!  The crowd is apoplectic as Hogan watches this symbol of patriotism and American pride step through the ropes! 

Jesse Ventura: Listen to these New Yorkers!  You’d think it really was Uncle Sam in the ring right now! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Who’s to say it isn’t?  Wait!  He’s picking up the microphone! 

Uncle Sam: First things first, ladies and gentlemen.  May I wish you all a Happy 4^th of July! 

Jesse Ventura: You know where I can find a bucket, Gorilla?  I think I’m gonna need one! 

Uncle Sam: It is an honor to be with you in New York City to celebrate the birth of our nation.  And I must say, Mr. Hogan, that I have nothing but the deepest respect for a man who will rise up in defense of his country’s honor!  But I reckon’ that these people came here to see a fight, and since they gave so generously to our veterans to make this happen, what do you say we give ‘em a battle to remember? 

Gorilla Monsoon: The champion glances around the arena!  The fans are going wild with excitement!  He takes the microphone offered by Sam. 

Hulk Hogan: Well, Uncle Sam, I say that it ain’t 4^th of July without fireworks!  So let’s you and me throw down right here right now and blow the roof right off this joint, brother! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Oh my!  It’s on!  The official Joey Marella climbs into the ring as Sam tosses aside his hat and jacket!  He rolls up his sleeves as the Hulkster tears off his shirt!  Think of it, Jesse!  Two pillars of American patriotism going to battle in the ring on the 4^th of July! 

Jesse Ventura: Who knows?  If we’re lucky maybe they’ll smash each other unconscious! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Joey Marella checks both competitors.  He gives the final instructions.  Gives the signal to the timekeeper!  And there’s the bell!  Uncle Sam vs Hulk Hogan! 

 

OK:

DC Universe Uncle Sam and 1980s Hulk Hogan. 

Sam is as strong as he can be in the world of comics, Hogan is as strong as he can be in the world of pro wrestling. 

Win by pinfall or submission. 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Uncle Sam
Read more about Uncle Sam at Wikipedia
Official Site: DC Comics Links: Uncle Sam's Wiki Article Toonopedia International Hero

Hulk Hogan
Read more about Hulk Hogan at Wikipedia
Official Site: VH1.com Links: Wiki for Hulk Hogan WWE Official Website Wiki for Hogan Knows Best

[leroypowell3]

Good one. Hogan could do this but I think Sam honestly is just a higher level.

[JohnnyChany]

I am glad someone got up a 4th of July themed fight. I was thinking of doing something with Uncle Sam and G from Street Fighter.

As for this match, Uncle Sam can't lose on the 4th of July, not even to Hogan. That's not good wrestling business. Especially not in the patriotic fervor of the era. Hogan isn't going to job clean though, brother. I predict interference from the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff that distract Hogan long enough to cost him the match. 

[Pizza Guy]

Sorry but my dad was the biggest Hulk Hogan fan in 80s and I just can’t vote against him. Not even against Uncle Sam. Throwing a heavily bias vote towards Hollywood Hogan.

[DSkillz]

Good, patriotic set-up, broadway.  Wish I had actually read it on the 4th. It really reminds me of those WWF shows from the '80's. 

As for the match, I think even a Hulked-up Hogan is overmatched here. DC's Uncle Sam once exchanged blows with Black Adam, and given that it's the 4th of July for the match, Sam is at his peak. The fact that Sheik, Volkoff, and Blassie are still ringside likely means they're going to interfere in the recap, but it shouldn't change the outcome. 

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.60 - DSkillz
4.70 - JohnnyChany

FPA Calculation:
2 Total Votes cast
9.30 Total Combined Score
9.30 / 2 = 4.65 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Uncle Sam: 3
Hulk Hogan: 1

[broadwaybeyonder]

AFTER AN ETERNITY, THE BOTTOM LINE

Gorilla Monsoon: Uncle Sam with a right to Hogan, another sends him towards the corner! 

Jesse Ventura: But look at Hogan!  Shaking his head, his arms!  These people know what’s coming! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Another right by Sam!  But the Hulkster’s right back up! 

Crowd: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Wagging the finger is Hogan, in the face of Uncle Sam! 

Jesse Ventura: Some American hero he is!  Doing that to the symbol of our country! 

Gorilla Monsoon: I thought you said you didn’t believe he was…

Jesse Ventura: Oh shut up and call the match, Gorilla! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Sam tries for another right hand but Hogan blocks it!  Now a right from Hogan!  Hogan is rallying to the cheers of the Hulkamaniacs!  He’s forced Uncle Sam to the center of the ring!  Whips him into the ropes! 

Jesse Ventura: Heads up, Unc! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Rebounds right into the big boot!  The Hulkster has put away countless men with that maneuver!  All that’s left is if the leg drop!  He looks to the fans!  He urges them to be louder! 

Jesse Ventura: Stop your showboating and pin ‘em already! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Hogan hits the ropes, he leaps up, and comes crashing down with the big leg!  He covers!  Ref counts 1!  2!  NO! 

Jesse Ventura: Unbelievable, Gorilla!  That’s what Hogan gets for playing to these fans!  It gave Sam time to gather his strength and kick out! 

Gorilla Monsoon: The champion can’t believe it!  Folks, this has been a true back and forth contest!  Uncle Sam looked to be getting the upper hand, only for Hogan to Hulk up to try to score a pinfall. 

Jesse Ventura: But what’s Hogan gonna do now, Gorilla?  If this Uncle Sam can take his biggest move, what can the champ do to put him down? 

Gorilla Monsoon: Hogan rushes to the ropes!  Here he comes again with ANOTHER leg drop!  He springs to his feet and looks to the crowd! 

Jesse Ventura: Holding up one finger?  He’s wanting the fans to tell him to hit his move again? 

Gorilla Monsoon: That’s the plan, Jesse.  One more leg drop should put Uncle Sam away!  Again to the ropes!  He jumps!  NO!  He rolled out of the way!  Uncle Sam rolled out of the way and Hogan came crashing down on nothing! 

Jesse Ventura: No water in the pool, Gorilla!  Now here comes Sam!  Hooks up Hogan!  Lifts him up! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Belly to back suplex!  Hogan is reeling!  Sam again takes a hold of the champ!  Another suplex!  The Madison Garden crowd is roaring! 

Crowd: USA!  USA!  USA!  USA! 

Gorilla Monsoon; A quick flurry of rights and lefts to the champion!  Uncle Sam grabs Hogan!  Hogan’s trying to break free, but he can’t get loose!  A kick to the gut by Sam!  OH MY!  He’s lifted Hogan up onto his shoulders! 

Jesse Ventura: I never thought I’d see anybody manhandle Hogan like this!  I love it! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Hogan dazed as Uncle Sam marches around the ring with him in a fireman’s carry hold.  To the middle of the ring!  A salute from Sam!  And SLAMS Hogan to the canvas! 

Jesse Ventura: Is it enough?! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Sam covers!  Referee!  1!  2!  3! 

Jesse Ventura: WHOA! 

Howard Finkel:  Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, UNCLE SAM!!! 

Jesse Ventura: If this was for the title we’d have a new champ right now, Gorilla! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Indeed, Jess.  The Garden has gone bananas as Sam has his hand raised.  But now he walks over to Hogan.  The champ is shaken.  You can see he’s upset to have let down his Hulkamaniacs.  Uncle Sam offers a hand. 

Jesse Ventura: Hogan won’t take it.  He’s such a bad sport, his ego won’t let him admit that Sam was the better man tonight. 

Gorilla Monsoon: Oh what are you, nuts?!  This is Hulk Hogan were talking abo… HEY!  Wait a minute!  Sheik and Volkoff! 

Jesse Ventura: Jumping Sam from behind while Freddie Blassie took care of the referee! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Do these clowns have any respect at all?!  This man just went 20 minutes with the WWF Champion! 

Jesse Ventura: So what?  Sheik and Volkoff have been disrespected every day of the year by these patriotic yokels!  Time to show these Hulkamaniacs who the real big guns are around here! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Uncle Sam is being worked over in the corner by the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff!  Now Freddie Blassie with that cane of his!  Sheik and Volkoff each grab an arm of Uncle Sam! 

Jesse Ventura: Batter up, Freddie! 

Gorilla Monsoon: He swings back and HOGAN CAUGHT!  He yanks the cane from Blassie’s grip!  Now he grabs him by the hair and tosses him out of the ring! 

Jesse Ventura: Why can’t that red and yellow joker mind his own business?! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Uncle Sam breaks free of Blassie’s cronies.  He bangs their skulls together!  Sheik stumbles into the waiting fists of Hogan!  Sam continues to work on Volkoff! 

Jesse Ventura: Hogan and Sam fighting side by side! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Double Irish whips into the ropes straight into stereo big boots!  Sheik and Volkoff look like the 8^th Calvary just ran over them!  Sam and Hogan look at each other, then charge ahead! 

Jesse Ventura: Double clothesline and Sheik and Nikolai go over the rope and bye bye! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Much to the delight of the New York crowd!  These two patriotic gladiators are standing tall in the ring!  Again, Uncle Sam holds out his hand!  In respect and friendship!  Hogan looks to his Hulkamaniacs!  They want him to do it!  And yes!  He does! 

Jesse Ventura: What a display of good sportsmanship!  It makes me want to throw up! 

Gorilla Monsoon: Well, folks, were just about out of time!  As Hogan and Sam mount the turnbuckles to celebrate with the crowd, we just want to say we hope you had a Happy 4^th of July!  For Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura, I’m Gorilla Monsoon saying good night from Madison Square Garden!