Match 20954 Art the Clown vs. Jack The Clown

[broadwaybeyonder]

“I never should have let you talk me into coming here!” 

Gretchen wept and ranted as she continued to fight against the restraints that bound her wrists and ankles to her chair.  She wore a shirt promoting Halloween Horror Nights and her brown hair a disheveled mess.  A second chair imprisoning a 24-year-old man in a matching Halloween Horror Nights t-shirt sat back-to-back with hers.  The man, named Warren, could barely make out the props and old costume that surrounded them in the warehouse they found themselves.  His face showed increasing annoyance as his companion continued to complain. 

“It’ll be fun, you said!  There’s nothing to be afraid of, you said!” 

“Will you be quiet!” 

“And then you just had to go on and on about that slutty looking clown!  Let’s see where she’s going, you said!  I think she wants us to follow her, you said!  What kind of sicko are you, Warren?” 

“Gretchen!  Will you just shut up already?!” 

“Oh, sure!  Yell at me!  It’s not my fault we got ourselves trapped by some psycho clowns!” 

The bickering couple was interrupted by the sound child-like humming and of heels clicking against the grated floor.  Gretchen tried to control her sobs and Warren’s eyes widened in terror as the clown girl walked into the light.  She was dressed in red and blue corset and skirts, her dark hair was twisted into two pig tails, and her face was painted with black diamonds over her eyes. 

Chance leaned over and put herself nose to nose with Warren and gave a sinister smile. 

“Hi, kids!  Nice and cozy, are we?” 

“Please, please let me go!” whined Gretchen.  “If you want him, you can have him!” 

“Gretchen, shut up!” 

“My daddy has money!  He’ll give you anything you want!” 

“GRETCHEN!” 

“BOTH OF YA SHUT UP!!!!” 

Gretchen and Warren both fell silent as Jack the Clown’s voice burst out of the darkness.  He approached the two chairs and sneered at the terrified couple.  “Is this the best you could get, Chance?” 

“I was walking around the park for an hour, Jack,” said Chance.  “Lover boy here was the only one who was interested.” 

Jack walked around the chairs, Gretchen and Jack trying not to scream.  “So, it looks like we got a ‘buy one preppie, get one Karen’ deal tonight!  Ha!  No matter!  I’m sure they will be enough!” 

“What are you going to do to us?” shouted Warren. 

“Do?”  Jack wrapped his hand around Warren’s throat and snarled.  “I’ll tell ya what we’re going to do, Donald Jr.  I’m going to make you and your mail order girlfriend here famous!  You two are gonna be the stars of my Carnival of Carnage!  For one night only, anyway.” 

“He’s gonna kill us!” screamed Gretchen.  “Oh my God, we’re gonna die!  You and your stupid park!” 

“This isn’t my fault, Gretchen!” 

“ENOUGH ALREADY!” shrieked Chance. 

Jack let go of Warren and patted Chance on the head.  “Well put, sweetheart.  Now keep these two idiots under lock and key until showtime.” 

“But, Jack!  I thought we could have a little fun with them first?  Ya know, see how well they bleed?  Pretty please?” 

Jack was annoyed for a moment before looking into Chance’s pleading eyes, then he shrugged.  “Meh, I never like to see a clown beg.  Sure, why not?” 

Chance squealed in delight as Gretchen and Warren started begging for their lives and yelling at each other again.  “Okay, Donny and Marie,” said Jack.  “I’m going to pick up a few more props for our… rehearsal.  But I’ll be leaving you in the capable hands of my harlequin of horror, Chance.  And she knows what she’s doing, don’t you, honey?” 

Chance pulled a knife out of her boot and brandished it at the couple.  “Yeah, I’m real cutting edge!” 

Jack cackled with delight and ran back into the darkness as Gretchen and Warren screamed for mercy.  Chance held the knife to her lips to hush them.  “Now, kids.  You want to know what’s funny about a knife?” 

Jack rifled through a back closet humming to himself as he heard the sounds of screaming in the distance.  He would pick a potential weapon, toss it aside and look at another, not wanting to miss having ‘fun’ with Chance. 

“Hatchet?  Nah.  Chainsaw?  Ooh, save that for later.  Bear trap?  Huh, gotta remember to get that back to Jigsaw.  AH HA!  Hahaha!  NOW we’re talking!” 

Jack lifted an oversized, multi-colored hammer.  “Blunt force trauma, but leaves you mostly in one piece!  Give me a doggie bag, we’re taking this home! Hahahahaha!” 

When he finished laughing, Jack finally noticed something.  He realized how quiet the warehouse had become.  There were the sounds of guests screaming and laughing in the park outside, but there was no sound of Chance’s victims. 

“Chance?  Chance, did you kill our volunteers again?  We’ve talked about this, babe.  I’m gonna have to bring the hammer down!” 

Jack hefted the clown hammer and marched through the costume racks to the two chairs.  The sight actually stopped the murderous clown in his tracks. 

Gretchen and Warren were still locked in their chairs, but they were no longer arguing or pleading.  Their heads were tilted lifeless and their eyes were glazed over with fear.  Their throats had been slit, their chests ripped open, and multiple stab wounds covered their bodies.  Two pools of blood had formed under the chairs. 

“Damn, Chance!” Jack chuckled.  “You really went all out, didn’t ya?” 

Suddenly there was the sound of honking horn.  Jack spun around behind him and saw nothing.  “Seriously?” said Jack.  “You really want to try pulling a jump scare on ME?!  Get back out on the street and find me some more volunteers!  Or I might just have YOU be the main event!” 

There were two more honks and Jack turned back holding the hammer at the ready to see a clown standing by Gretchen and Warren’s corpses.  He was dressed in a black and white suit, hat, and make-up, but it was all covered in the blood of the two ‘volunteers’.  He smiled with his rotten teeth and waved to Jack.  Jack slowly lowered the hammer as he took in the sight. 

“Ooookay.  Heh!  Don’t remember you at the team meeting.  You’re not one of my clowns, are ya?” 

The clown shook his head, his grotesque smile not changing. 

“Strong, silent type huh?  And I guess you’re the one who butchered my buddies here?” 

The clown nodded in excitement and gave the corpses a hug. 

“Ha!  Gotta love a clown who loves their job!  You do good work, I’ll give you that!  Maybe there could be a place for you in the Carnival!  You wouldn’t happen to have a name, do you?” 

The clown extended a finger on his gloved hand a dipped it into the wound in Gretchen’s chest.  Removing the bloody finger, he began to write out a name on the ground in front of Jack. 

“Art?  Art the Clown?  Meh, a little derivative, but I can work with it.  Say!  How about you, me, and Chance hit the town?  There’s a whole park full of people just waiting to be bumped off!  Err, by the by, did you see Chance?  Sexy clown, packs a switchblade?” 

Art the Clown honked his horn in excitement and motioned for Jack to wait.  He gave an exaggerated, creeping walk into the darkness of the warehouse.  “Listen, Art,” said Jack, shouldering the hammer.  “I like clowns, but I’m not crazy about mimes.  So hurry up and show me where Chance is before I get bored and show you what this hammer can do those buck teeth of yours.” 

There was another honk from the horn, and Jack could make out Art walking towards him with Chance.  “There you are, babe!  Where have you been hiding?” 

Suddenly, Art shoved Chance towards Jack.  The clown dropped his hammer and caught his assistant, but his eyes went wide.  Chance’s throat had been slit, and her favorite knife was now protruding out of her head.  Jack glared at Art, holding Chance in his arms.  “You killed her, too?!”  Art honked his horn and mimed like he was laughing.  Jack became enraged, and yanked the knife out Chance’s head before letting her corpse drop to the floor.  “Okay, Leto.  Now you done it!  Volunteers I can get anywhere!  Chance was MY girl!  If anyone was gonna kill, it was gonna be me!” 

Art the Clown shrugged and pulled out a cleaver from behind his back.  Jack held Chance’s knife ready to strike.  “So you wanna get nuts?!  Come on!  Let’s get nuts!!” 

 

OK:

Art and Jack are in a Universal Studios warehouse full of slasher weapons and circus props. 

Last clown standing wins. 

Game On!  And Happy Halloween! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Art the Clown
Read more about Art the Clown at Wikipedia
Official Site: Fuzz on the Lens Productions Links: Wikipedia

Jack The Clown
Read more about Jack The Clown at Wikipedia
Official Site: Universal Studios Links: Wikipedia Halloween Horror Ngihts Wiki Villains Wiki

[JohnnyChany]

Perfect for the season, a scary clown match. There are so many of them in the database. This was an unexpected pair, and you tied them together pretty well. Art has the jump on Jack, and I expect him to win this fight, but I am casting my vote for Jack. Banking on the rage and the homefield advantage.