Match 21011 Henry Jones and Indiana Jones vs. Predator Pyramid

[Venom 2009]

“Crow! Tom! Where are you?!” Mike Nelson yelled as he walked onto the bridge of the Satellite of Love. “It’s about time where Pearl calls us and tells us what movie she’s going to use to torture us!”

“YO!” Tom Servo yelled, as he and Crow T. Robot popped up in-between Mike, causing the human to scream in fear.

“Don’t scare me like that!” Mike yelled.

“Well, whose fault is that? You’re the one that’s been hollering for us.” Crow said.

“Ok, fine. Whatever. But where have you two been?” Mike asked the Bots.

“Oh, just doing a little remodeling.” Tom said.

Mike then notices the flashing button. “Well, you two are just in time for Pearl.” Mike said to his robot pals, before he pressed the button. Mike and the Bots could see Pearl Forrester as she was in her castle, just standing on the floor.

“Hello, Mike and Robots. I’m in a good mood today. You want to know why that is?” Pearl asked with a sinister glee.

“Because you’re going to let us go?” Mike asked.

Pearl started to laugh, before she gave Mike a dirty look. “No!” Then Pearl smiled again. “Because I got a movie that will finally crush you.”

“Bring it! We’ve taken on the worse of the worst that you and your family have thrown at us!” Crow yelled with confidence.

“Is that so? Well let me tell you what you’re in for. What do you get when you pin two sci-if horrors against each other? You would think, you would be getting a good movie, but instead you get this train wreck. I am talking about Alien vs Predator.” Pearl said.

Mike and the Bots gasped in horror. “No! Not Alien vs Predator!” Tom yelled.

“Oh, yes! Two downhill franchises in one bad movie!” Pearl let out a menacing laugh. But then Pearl stopped laughing as Brain Guy appeared next to her.

“Pearl? Is Bobo back with that medicine?” Brain Guy asked, before he blew his nose into a tissue.

“Brain Guy? Don’t you see I’m trying to break the will of the prisoners?” Pearl asked in an angry tone.

“Hey, Brain Guy. You don’t look so good.” Mike said.

“Yes, I came down with some illness. I fear if Bobo doesn’t come back soon, my time in this universe will be over.” Brain Guy said, before he blew his nose again.

“Brain Guy, you just have a cold. Bobo had to pick up some things for me, before he could get your medicine. Now why don’t you go back to your room and keep your germs in there.” Pearl said.

“Yes, Pearl.” Brain Guy said, before he walked off.

Pearl looked back to Mike and the Bots. “Now go into the theater and take your punishment.”

Alarms were going off in the Satellite of Love. “We got movie sign!” Mike yelled, as he and the Bots ran to the theater.

The trio went to their seats in the theater, with the AVP movie now playing. Mike notices there was a TV and a DVD Player on the floor. “Uh... Guys? Why is there a TV and a DVD Player here?” Mike asked his robot friends.

“Oh, Tom and I came up with a solution to our bad movie problems.” Crow said.

“Yes, now every time a bad movie is playing in the theater, we can now watch a good movie on this TV.” Tom said.

“What!” Mike yelled. He had to calm himself down to make sure Pearl couldn’t hear him. “Are you guys out of your mind? If Pearl finds out we’re watching a different movie, she will have our heads on a silver platter.” Mike said in a low voice to Crow and Tom.

“That is if she finds out.” Crow said.

“Yeah, all we have to do is take turns of watching the Alien movie, while the rest of us watch the good movie.” Tom said.

“We’ll just pretend we’re concentrating on the Alien movie.” Crow said.

“I don’t know guys. I feel like we’re getting into hot water.” Mike said.

“Come on Mike, do you really want to watch Alien vs Predator?” Tom asked.

“Well... What movie did you pick to watch?” Mike asked the robots.

“Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” Crow said.

Later on, Mike and the Bots were doing their best to watch both the AVP film and the Indiana Jones movie. Pearl was watching the trio on a monitor. She notices Mike and the others weren’t making many jokes on the AVP movie. Pearl then notices there was a different source of sound coming from the theater. She adjusted the camera angle and saw Mike and the Bots were watching a different movie on a TV.

Pearl’s blood started to boil. “How dare they watch a movie that I didn’t pick! If they wanted to watch Indiana Jones, I would have shown them, The Crystal Skull or The Dial of Destiny! They won’t get away with this! Brain Guy! Brain Guy!”

“Yes, Pearl?” Brain Guy appeared next to Pearl and blew his nose into a tissue. “Is Bobo back with my medicine?”

“No! Those three idiots are watching a different movie in the theater!” Pearl yelled.

“So, what do you what me to do about it?” Brain Guy asked.

“What do you think?! I want you to use your powers to get that TV out of the theater!” Pearl yelled.

“But Pearl, I don’t feel so good.” Brain Guy said.

“You won’t be feeling good for a week, if you don’t do what I say.” Pearl said, as she held her fist close to Brain Guy’s face.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Brain Guy said, before he started to use his powers.

The TV in the theater disappeared.

“What?! No!” Crow yelled.

“We were getting to the best part!” Tom yelled.

“Oh, No! Pearl must have found out! Who knows what horrible things she’s going to do to us!” Mike yelled.

“Where are we?”

“I don’t know, son?”

The trio looked up at the big screen, and were shocked to see Indiana Jones and Henry Jones were inside the pyramid from the AVP movie.

“Hey, guys? Why is Indiana Jones and his dad in the Alien movie?” Mike asked.

“How should I know? I’m not the director.” Crow said.

“So, unless this is a special edition with Harrison Ford and Sean Connery, I think Indy and his father got put in the wrong movie.” Tom said.

Indy and Henry were soon discovered by Alexa Woods and her group. “Who are you?” Alexa asked them.

“I’m Indiana Jones, and this is my father, Henry Jones.” Indy said.

“Hello.” Henry said.

“How did you get here?” Charles Bishop Weyland asked.

“I don’t know. We were on our way to Hatay, until we suddenly appeared here.” Henry said.

“That’s it? You expect us to believe that?” Maxwell Stafford asked.

“By the way. Where is here?” Indy said.

“Well if you don’t know, you’re in a pyramid in Antarctica.” Alexa said.

“Wait?! What?!” Indy yelled.

“And the best part, we’re all trapped in here.” Professor Sebastian De Rosa said.

“Well, you’re in luck. I’ve been in tight places before. I’m sure I can find a way out of this pyramid.” Indy said.

“Brain Guy? Why is Indiana Jones and his father in the Alien movie?” Pearl asked.

“This cold is affecting my powers. I accidentally pulled them out of their movie and placed them into the other one.” Brain Guy said.

“Well can you fix the Alien movie?” Pearl asked.

“I can give it a shot.” Brain Guy said. He tried to use his powers again, but suddenly felt dizzy. “I’m sorry, Pearl. But that last attempt took a lot out of me.”

“So, what do we do now?” Pearl asked.

“Well, we could just let things play out. I mean, this is a golden opportunity to see how adding extra characters will change a movie?” Brain Guy said.

“Hmm.... You’re right.” Pearl said, as she rubbed her chin.

--------

So, there you have it. I hope everyone likes the match. The idea of having MST3K involved in a match was inspired by another match made by @broadwaybeyonder.

Basically, this is Indiana Jones and Henry Jones in the Alien vs Predator movie.

This is Indy from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Indy has a whip and sword, along with whatever weapons he can get his hands on. Indy and Henry do have backup from the human cast of the AVP film.

Vote for Indy and Henry, if you think they (or one of them) will survive throughout the AVP movie.

Vote for the Predator Pyramid, if you think Indy and Henry will get killed by the Aliens and/or the Predators.

Who will win?

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Henry Jones and Indiana Jones
Read more about Henry Jones and Indiana Jones at Wikipedia
Official Site: Paramount Pictures Links: wikipedia Indiana Jones wikipedia Henry Jones IMDB

Predator Pyramid
Read more about Predator Pyramid at Wikipedia
Official Site: Twentieth Century Fox Links: Wikipedia

[broadwaybeyonder]

Thanks, @Venom 2009!  

Henry probably wouldn't survive the Pyramid, but Indy has a chance.  

[Macklemore]

I truly do not believe that Indy can beat neither an Alien nor a Predator, let alone multiple hunting him at once. He'd have more luck against the Predators, but even then I don't rate his chances.

[RiotGear]

Given everything he's dealt with fighting Aliens/Predator and escaping the pyramid would be a normal weekend for Indy...

If he was by himself. His impulse to keep his dad and the others safe is what makes this truly a challenge for Jones Jr.

Even then he should be able to rally the mercs and Alexa enough to get most everybody out.

[Culwych1]

If anyone is going to survive this, I reckon it'll be Indy. Perhaps the same sort of story pans out, with Indy and crew joining forces with Pred. Great matchup

[leroypowell3]

All those other people from the movie died accept Sanna Lathan and all her phineness...

I just don't see Indy coming out of this. Abandon plot device and the Jones' don't make it.

[RiotGear]

1 hour ago, leroypowell3 said:

All those other people from the movie died accept Sanna Lathan and all her phineness...

I just don't see Indy coming out of this. Abandon plot device and the Jones' don't make it.

 

So some one with little archeological or combat experience survived, but you're confused how a guy with 3 decades of onsite archeological experience, including with traps etc, and 20+ years of combat experience, including with special forces and military intelligence, is going to survive?

That's on top of physical stats that would allow Indy to throw hands with a Predator, if it came to that. 

[leroypowell3]

23 hours ago, RiotGear said:

 

So some one with little archeological or combat experience survived, but you're confused how a guy with 3 decades of onsite archeological experience, including with traps etc, and 20+ years of combat experience, including with special forces and military intelligence, is going to survive?

That's on top of physical stats that would allow Indy to throw hands with a Predator, if it came to that. 

Indiana Jones is not Dutch. And we've seen him get whooped by big guys and the only reason he won was a propeller blade. Cornered by a Xenomorph or a Predator, him and his dad simply don't have it. His only hope is 'it's Indiana Jones part 12 or something'. 

Love you Indy be cool movie to go see. But you ain't getting my vote.

[RiotGear]

4 hours ago, leroypowell3 said:

Indiana Jones is not Dutch. And we've seen him get whooped by big guys and the only reason he won was a propeller blade. Cornered by a Xenomorph or a Predator, him and his dad simply don't have it. His only hope is 'it's Indiana Jones part 12 or something'. 

Love you Indy be cool movie to go see. But you ain't getting my vote.

 

Your right Indy is not Dutch. Indy has significantly more combat experience and training.

In the fight with The Big German Mechanic. Indiana defeated a larger stronger opponent via craftiness and situational awareness. He could use the same methodology against Predators and Aliens.

Not to mention that Indy doing poorly against The Mechanic probably speaks more. To The Mechanic's ability then against Jones's. Across multiple forms of media. We have seen Dr. Jones display basically some where between peak human and superhuman physical abilities from breaking metal and smashing stone to dodging bullets. On top of being a top tier fighter capable of defeating opponents such multiple spec ops soldiers at the same time or Olympic champion boxers.

In other words Indiana Jones is literally a world class martial artist, with vaguely superhuman stats, and roughly 3 decades of experience with adventuring and combat.

This puts him leagues above folks like Harrigan, Hanzo, Royce, and Naru. Who have killed Predators in close combat.

As for Xenomorphs they are dropped by pistol rounds and harpoon guns. The armed mercs are here. So Indy has access to guns.

Again I ask if Alexa who has none of Indy's skills and borderline no relevant skills/experience that would aid in surviving the Pyramid can survive. Why do you think Indy would do so poorly?

 

[DSkillz]

Good set-up, Venom, and interesting concept. 

This looks like a tough one for the humans. As AvP proved, Alexa's crew won't be much help against the Pyramid's traps, the Xenos, or the Predators. The Joneses are clever enough to get past the traps, and Woods definitely won't be a liability herself. Still, as mentioned, the three of them are very likely gonna need to team up with a Predator to survive this. 

36 minutes ago, RiotGear said:

Your right Indy is not Dutch. Indy has significantly more combat experience and training.

🤨

I don't know about all that. Sure, Indy spent some time in the military, but he's not a lifelong military guy like Dutch. Dutch has no doubt learned more armed and unarmed combat techniques, while Indy tends to rely more on guile and sometimes luck in more than a few situations. 

I think I agree that Indy has more experience dealing with weird and supernatural experiences, though. 

[JohnnyChany]

Big fan of all the MST3k love as of late. Very creative setup, Venom.

[RiotGear]

3 hours ago, DSkillz said:

🤨

I don't know about all that. Sure, Indy spent some time in the military, but he's not a lifelong military guy like Dutch. Dutch has no doubt learned more armed and unarmed combat techniques, while Indy tends to rely more on guile and sometimes luck in more than a few situations. 

I think I agree that Indy has more experience dealing with weird and supernatural experiences, though. 

 

Dutch didn't join the military until he was 19 and we have nothing to indicate he'd seen any sort of combat or even life threatening situation. Before he deployed to Vietnam.

Indy on the other hand joined up at 17 and It's not just his time in military. Jones has regularly found himself in active combat zones both foreign and domestic sense his yearly teens. Even before that he was regularly in dangerous situation in terms of both environment and human opponents. Not just dealing with traps and the like, but also bandits, assassins, and mercs.

Jones has been shooting sense he was a child and took up whip fighting as a teen. He is also a tournament winning boxer capable of beating Olympic Champions. He has also demonstrated some knowledge of wrestling, TKD, Northern Shaolin, and apparently an early version of something similar to MCMAP. 

From what we are shown Dutch is effective, but has a fairly limited move set when it comes to unarmed/melee combat. We also haven't seen him use the same variety of weapons Jones has.

So I'm not sure why you'd think Schaefer has learned more combat techniques.

They have both ended up reling on guild and luck.

[leroypowell3]

Guess we'll have to see who persuaded the most votes. 

Good job. This one sparked a good debate.

[DSkillz]

On 11/11/2024 at 3:03 AM, RiotGear said:

 

Dutch didn't join the military until he was 19 and we have nothing to indicate he'd seen any sort of combat or even life threatening situation. Before he deployed to Vietnam.

Indy on the other hand joined up at 17 and It's not just his time in military. Jones has regularly found himself in active combat zones both foreign and domestic sense his yearly teens. Even before that he was regularly in dangerous situation in terms of both environment and human opponents. Not just dealing with traps and the like, but also bandits, assassins, and mercs.

Jones has been shooting sense he was a child and took up whip fighting as a teen. He is also a tournament winning boxer capable of beating Olympic Champions. He has also demonstrated some knowledge of wrestling, TKD, Northern Shaolin, and apparently an early version of something similar to MCMAP. 

From what we are shown Dutch is effective, but has a fairly limited move set when it comes to unarmed/melee combat. We also haven't seen him use the same variety of weapons Jones has.

So I'm not sure why you'd think Schaefer has learned more combat techniques.

They have both ended up reling on guild and luck.

 

Eh. 

Being a Special Forces operator requires you to learn elite H2H and armed combat training. That training is something that Dutch and his colleagues needed to get through Vietnam War missions and other operations. As much as Indy's been through and picked up along the way, he was never really trained in as many different fields of combat as extensively that Dutch did. 

But we may be getting off track. I'm not really saying that Indy and Henry, Sr. wouldn't be able to survive this Pyramid, but it would still very likely require allying with any surviving Predators. In fact, if a mountain climber can convince Scar to form an alliance against the Xenos, I'm thinking that she may have even better luck at it with Indy by her side (Henry, Sr. might just cower for a bit until said alliance is made, though, lol). 

Therefore, I'm thinking that Alex and the Jonses might just get through this. 

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.90 - Boratz
4.80 - JohnnyChany
5.00 - Culwych1
5.00 - Macklemore
4.20 - DSkillz
4.00 - broadwaybeyonder

FPA Calculation:
6 Total Votes cast
27.90 Total Combined Score
27.90 / 6 = 4.65 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Henry Jones and Indiana Jones: 5
Predator Pyramid: 2