Match 21099 Tyrion Lannister vs. Barney Gumble

[JohnnyChany]

THE NEXUS BAR PART 8

 

PREVIOUS NEXUS EPISODES (1,2,3,4,5,6,7)

 

The sign for the Nexus Bar glowed brightly above the cross-dimensional watering hole as it opened for business for the night. Inside, the hum of preparation filled the air. Tifa Lockhart, the establishment’s premier bartender, moved behind the polished bar counter in her traditional white tank top and black skirt, arranging glasses and wiping down surfaces. 

Sanji, the bar's resident chef, worked in the open kitchen near the back. Dressed in a sharp black suit and striped tie, he turned on the stove and went over his ingredients for the night all while a cigarette hung precariously from the corner of his mouth. Aromas of spices already began to fill the air.

TIFA: Ready for another night, Sanji?

SANJI: Always. The Nexus never disappoints. Got a feeling tonight’s gonna be a fun one.

TIFA: I guess we’ll find out.

The doors swung open. A blonde 18-year-old boy in a long white trench coat waltzed in with his Hyperion gunblade by side. He was Seifer Almasy, the cocky yet dependable bouncer for the Nexus Bar. His two close friends and fellow bouncers, Raijin and Fujin, followed close behind. Rajin sported a massive frame with bulging muscles barely contained by a purple vest.  Next to him, Fujin, looked quite small in comparison with her chopped silver hair, all blue outfit and eyepatch over her left eye. Like their leader, Raijin and Fujin were armed to deal with any unruly patrons. Raijin carried a massive staff slung of his shoulder and Fujin had a silver chakram at her hip.

Tifa greeted them brightly.

TIFA: Seifer, Raijin, Fujin! Good to see you three. Ready for possible trouble tonight?

SEIFER: Always. Let’s see who gets rowdy first tonight.

RAIJIN: We’ll handle it, ya know!

FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE.

The trio gave Tifa a wave and stepped outside to take their positions. Tifa turned back to see Sanji staring after Fujin.  His expression was uncharacteristically wistful.

TIFA: You know, if you keep looking at her like that, she might turn around and catch you.

SANJI: Wha—? I wasn’t looking!

Tifa laughed.

TIFA: Sanji, please. I’ve never seen you so demure about a woman before. Why don’t you just talk to her?
Sanju grinned sheepishly.

SANJI: She’s not exactly... talkative. Plus, she’s not my usual type, you know?"
Tifa regarded him with genuine empathy.

TIFA: Maybe that’s the problem. Ever think you’re single because you’ve been going after the wrong type this whole time?
Sanji scoffed.

SANJI: What are you saying? I have excellent taste!

TIFA: Do you?

SANJI: Absolutely. Just look at you, has anyone told you yet how stunning you look tonight, Tifa?
Tifa rolled her eyes.

TIFA: Nice try. But keep your focus on the kitchen.

Outside, the first guest of the night approached: Tyrion Lannister. He looked over the bouncers.

TYRION: Ah, the teenagers are here. Tell me, is there a reason they hire underage guards? Cost-cutting, perhaps?

RAIJIN: Nah, it’s smart, ya know? We don’t drink on the job, ya know?

SEIFER: You wouldn’t get that kind of professionalism, dwarf. You’re lucky we don’t have a height requirement here, like the carnival rides do.
Tyrion chuckled.

TYRION: You wound me, blondie. But I must say, your face..so smug, so punchable…would fit perfectly in Westeros. You’d feel right at home. You really must visit

Tyrion strolled past them. His laugh trailed behind him as Seifer shook his head. Inside, Tifa greeted him before he even reached his stool.

TIFA: Evening, Tyrion. 

She poured him a goblet of wine.

TIFA: Sanji is expecting some excitement tonight, but I’ve got the feeling that it might be a slow night.

Tyrion sat on his stool and raised his goblet toward Tifa.

TYRION: To me it matters not. The wine and your company are all I need.

Tifa smiled.

TIFA: I like having you here too. You’re a good customer.

TYRION: A Lannister always pays his debts…and tabs. With good tips, of course.

Tyrion placed some gold coins on the bar counter.

The doors opened again as more people entered the bar including Springfield residents, Carl Carlson, Lenny Leonard, and Barney Gumble. Barney, red-nosed and disheveled, trailed behind his two drinking buddies and looked hesitant.

CARL: Come on, Barney, give this place a shot.

LENNY: Yeah, Moe’ll never know.

BARNEY: It Feels like betrayal...

CARL: Think of it as expanding your horizons. Lenny and I have been coming here for awhile now and we still make it out to Moe’s most days.

Tifa greeted Carl and Lenny with mugs of beer and a warm smile.

TIFA: Welcome back, Carl, Lenny. 

LENNY: Heya Tifa, we brought our buddy with us tonight. The one we’ve been telling you about.

TIFA: Homer?

CARL: No, the other one. Barney.

TIFA: Glad to see you decided to give our bar a try, Barney. Duff, right?

Barney’s eyes bulged.

BARNEY: You have Duff here?!

TIFA: I can order anything if there’s demand. Added Duff to the list once Carl and Lenny started making regular visits. See that guy at the end of the bar over there, Tyrion. I had to quadruple my wine orders when he became a regular.

CARL: Impressive.

LENNY: That little guy can drink that much?

TYRION: Appearances deceive, my friend. I could drink any man under the table.

LENNY: Not any man.

CARL: You’ve never met Barney Gumble.

Sanji dropped off a plate of his custom nachos in front of Lenny and Carl.

SANJI: Sounds like a challenge to me.

TYRION: There was no challenge layed down.

Seifer brushed behind him as he grabbed some snacks from Sanji for him and his crew.

SEIFER: Of course there is no challenge. There is no way the tiny noble here can outdrink that big guy.

Seifer walked away again, and Tyrion was ruffled. He smiled again.

TYRION: How would a challenge even work, we would have to be drinking the same thing, and I would not debase myself to drink beer. 

Barney burped loudly.

BARNEY: I don’t drink wine.

Sanji scoffed.

SANJI: Tifa, here, can make sure there is equal alcohol content on both sides if she was so inclined.

Tifa nodded.

TIFA: Yeah, if it something you both want to do.

CARL: You should do it, Barney, make your first time here a memorable experience.

Lenny placed his hand on Barney’s shoulder.

LENNY: You don’t even have to worry about getting home, we’ve got you.

Tyrion turned to Tifa with an expectant look.

TIFA: I’m not taking you home, but I can arrange for transportation.

TYRION: Fair enough.

BARNEY: OK. I’m in!

Barney burped again.

TYRION: Then so am I. Prepare yourself, good sir, for glorious battle!

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Tyrion Lannister
Read more about Tyrion Lannister at Wikipedia
Official Site: George R.R. Martin Links: Wikipedia A Wiki of Ice and Fire Tower of the Hand

Barney Gumble
Read more about Barney Gumble at Wikipedia
Official Site: Fox Links: Wikipedia Simpsons Wiki ComicVine

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

No User Ratings on this match received!

MATCH SCORE
Tyrion Lannister: 1
Barney Gumble: 2