Match 21115 Sue Sylvester vs. The Janitor

[broadwaybeyonder]

Sue Sylvester marched towards the entrance to the McKinley High School football field where her Cheerios cheerleading squad stood waiting.  Quinn nervously adjusted her uniform as Sue approached. 

“Coach Sylvester, we might have a problem.” 

“It’s called puberty, ladies.  It’ll pass.” 

The cheerleading coach looked over her team with a disapproving eye.  “Do any of you allegedly talented girls know what time it is?” 

“A.. little after 3, coach?” said Quinn. 

“And when was the practice to go over the new routine set for, Q?” 

“At 3.” 

“And where at 3?” 

“On the football field.” 

“And does this patch of faded grass resemble the football field to you?” 

“No, coach, it’s just it might be a little… difficult.” 

Sue glared at Quinn.  “Difficult?  You, young lady, have no concept of ‘difficult’.  Try doing a cheerleading routine in a full body cast.  Now get your tails out onto that field so you can hopefully not suck the remainder of my will to live out of my soul.” 

“But the field smells bad, coach!” interrupted Santana.  “It smells like crap!” 

“Like a gerbil.  A not friendly gerbil,” said Brittany. 

Santana looked at Brittany in confusion as Sue sniffed the air.  “Hmm.  Interesting.  And here I thought Schuester had got a new hair gel.  Quinn!  Have these wastes of my time do some stretches while I figure out what’s happened to my football field.” 

Sue stormed through the gates and onto the football field.  Across the field were several lines of fertilizer.  The stench was intense, and it took all of Sue’s resolve to maintain her usual confident expression. 

“Why hi there!” 

Sue saw a man in a maintenance uniform sitting a lounge chair under an umbrella.  He sat on the sidelines in front of the 50-yard line of the field.  The man saluted Sue with a FroYo cup and took another bite from it. 

“Sorry.  I’d love to chat, but I got important work to do here.” 

Sue walked over to the chair and put her hands on her hips.  “And what work would that be, besides contributing to your diabetes?” 

The man licked the spoon and leaned back in his chair.  “I have just laid a special fertilizer on this field, and I need to make sure it isn’t disturbed for the next 8 hours.” 

“8 hours?” Sue said incredulously.  “You’re just going to sit here for 8 hours watching crap?” 

“Why not?  Don’t you teachers do that 5 days a week?” 

“Well, you got me there.” 

“Then again it might not take that long.  I hear the cheerleading team they got around here practices on this field and word on the street is that they stink worse than the fertilizer.” 

Sue’s eyebrow twitched and she stood in front of the Janitor’s chair.  “Okay, Jumpsuit.  That happens to be MY cheerleaders.  And yes, they are crap.  But they also happen to be mine.  So why don’t you get this crap off my field, then run off to find Crow and Tom Servo?” 

The Janitor’s friendly expression melted, and he set his FroYo down before him.  “First off, this isn’t a jumpsuit, it’s pants and a shirt.  Second off, I paid somebody to lay all that crap on your field and I’m not paying him to take it off again.  Third off, although I am attracted to blondes, your hairdo is a little too Hitler Youth for my taste.  So why don’t you fourth off?” 

The Janitor picked up his FroYo and continued to eat it, not breaking eye contact with Sue.  The cheerleading coach could feel the rage building up within her but restrained the urge to strangle the strange man. 

“For the record, you’re not the first annoying bastard that would be buried in my basement.  You will get this fertilizer off my field in four hours.  Or I will prize your mouth open and run you across the field like a Zamboni.  Got it?” 

The Janitor gave a salute with his spoon and Sue stormed off towards her Cheerios. 

“And I thought Schuester was an ass,” thought Sue.  “It’s a new day, and a new mortal enemy.” 

“Well, well, well,” thought the Janitor finishing his FroYo with a smirk.  “Let the games begin.” 

 

OK:

This starts as a battle of wits between Sue and the Janitor but can become a physical fight. 

Who will be made to admit defeat to the superior troll? 

Game On! 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Sue Sylvester
Read more about Sue Sylvester at Wikipedia
Official Site: Fox Links: Wikipedia Glee Wiki Official Site

The Janitor
Read more about The Janitor at Wikipedia
Official Site: ABC Links: Wikipedia Scrubs Wiki Scrubs