Match 21143 Callum Drift vs. Buddy the Elf

[Pizza Guy]

Callum Drift vs Buddy the Elf

 

A somber mood has enveloped the North Pole this year, what should have been the jolliest time of the year has now turned into the most somber, bittersweet time of the year. It’s 3 days until Christmas and the man who’s responsible for bringing so much of it’s cheer, won’t be able to man his sleigh this year…

 

“How is he doc?”

 

“He’s… stable. Honestly with how severe that crash was it’s a miracle we haven’t lost him already. But for the time being, we’re gonna have to keep him under and hope for the best.”

 

On the surface Callum Drift was calm and composed, accepting what the elf doctor told him with a stern expression. But underneath that unflappable facade, Callum’s emotions were a maelstrom. Fluctuating between anger, sadness, hopelessness, and then finally guilt. The crushing weight of guilt was now coursing through him as despite his centuries of experience as the big man’s security detail, he had failed when he needed Callum the most.

 

“Can I see him for a moment?”

 

Nooooooo! Santaaaaaa! You can’t leave us like thiiiiissssss! Why couldn’t it have been me insteeeeeeaaaaaddddd!!?!?!”

 

“Uh sir? Your one hour visitation is up. Also they can hear you all the way on the next floor. Why don’t we get you to the cafeteria, maybe some food will cheer you up?”

 

The elf nurse awkwardly lifted the still weeping man from the motionless patient and as best she could guided him down the hallway, the man still wailing obnoxiously all the way. Callum Drift barely acknowledged the odd sight though, his gaze not leaving the figure in the bed, his longtime client, leader, and oldest friend now currently hooked up to so many wires and hoses, all just to keep him alive a little longer.

 

“I’ll be right outside Drift, just don’t take too long. I got a feeling you-know-who is gonna want a word with you very shortly.”

 

Callum Drift nodded at the doctor before striding over to the stand beside the comatosed man. For a moment he said nothing, just staring at the pale, unmoving face of the man he had given his whole life to protect. The steady beepings of the machine next to them being the only thing assuring Callum that his charge was still at least breathing.

 

“Hey old friend. I… I’m so sorry. I-I know you needed me elsewhere but I just… I just knew I never should have left your side. Somehow I just knew it… And I’m also sorry that I even thought about leaving all this behind. That it took a misadventure with some dickhead hacker to remind why it’s so important that we do this job. For all those people who still believe in decency, love, and compassion for our fellow men. And women of course! I’m not a sexist! Anyways what I’m trying to say is this: I’m gonna do everything I can to keep this ship running until you get back on your feet.”

 

“CALLUM DRIFT TO THE MAIN OFFICE PLEASE! MRS. CLAUS NEEDS TO SEE YOU!”

 

“Alright wish me luck Nick. I know I’ll see you soon.”

 

Callum Drift marched with purpose towards the main office, leaving the still unconscious Saint Nicholas behind. He knew what he was being summoned for and he was more than ready to meet this challenge head on! On his word as commander of ELF(Enforcement Logistics and Fortifications) he vowed that he would carry out his fallen friends duties-

 

“Hey! Mr. Drift! Is that you Mr. Drift?”

 

A-hem. As commander of ELF he vowed to make certain his fallen friends duties-

 

“Hey Mr. Drift over here!”

 

He vowed his fallen friends duties-

 

“Hey Mr. Drift can’t you hear me?”

 

-and make sure that Christmas will-

 

“Hey! Hey! Mr. Drift! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

 

“WHAT? What do you want?”

 

“It’s me, Buddy! Buddy the Elf! Don’t you remember me?”

 

“Who?”

 

“C’mon you know me! I was the elf who discovered he actually human, went on a grand adventure to find my dad, and now I’m the official head of the North Pole-Human Relations Committee!”

 

“Huh?”

 

Callum looked over this peculiar looking individual standing in front of him: he was a tall, lanky, and very awkward looking person, with stereotypically simple elvish clothing that looked strange upon a adult human male’s body. He also had a very goofy looking smile that kinda infuriated Callum, given the seriousness of their current situation. 

 

“You… you were the crying guy down at the ward weren’t you?”

 

“Yeah sorry about that. I was trying to be strong for the other elves but it’s just… it’s Santa man, sniff, sniff how could this have happened to him? Waaaaaahhhh-hu-hu-hu!”

 

“Woah okay Buddy, now’s really not the time to cry hug on my shoulder-“

 

“I just can’t believe this is happening! Waaaaaahhhh!”

 

Those walking by the hallway at the time had a most amusing sight of the usually stern and no nonsense Callum Drift awkwardly holding up a sobbing Buddy the Elf. Buddy even had the gaul to blow his nose right next to Callum’s shoulder.

 

“Alright, alright, look we’re gonna be fine okay? Everything’s… yeah everything is gonna be just fine.”

 

“You really think so sir?”

 

“Yes I do. Now could you please let me have my space back?”

 

“Right yes sir! And Mr. Drift sir, I just want you to know that I will do my part to help save Christmas this year! For Santa!”

 

“Okay and on that note I really have to go, I have a top secret meeting with the head lady in charge-“

 

“Oh we’re gonna have a secret meeting with Mrs. C?”

 

“I’m having a secret meeting with Mrs. Claus. I’m sure you they could use your help down in toy testing lab or something so why don’t you-“

 

“BUDDY THE ELF TO THE MAIN OFFICE AS WELL PLEASE! MRS. CLAUS NEEDS TO SEE YOU AS WELL!”

 

“Well would you look at that? They need me at the secret meeting too!”

 

“Really? You?”

 

“We’ll come on partner! Let’s not waste time standing around! Get a move on!”

 

A very confused and flabbergasted Callum Drift reluctantly followed Buddy the Elf up the next floor, where the Main Office awaited them. Hopefully with some good answers to several very important questions.

 

“Hello gentlemen. Glad you could make it.”

 

“Hi Mrs. C! It’s been too long, how have you been?” 

 

“Oh I’m fine Buddy thanks. How’s Jovie?”

 

“She’s great! She’s and little Susie are visiting her grandparents for this Christmas!”

 

“Hello ma’am. How are you holding up after all that’s happened?”

 

“Just barely Callum. But Christmas is just around the corner and I can’t afford to break down now. So please have a seat, we have much to discuss.”

 

Both Callum and Buddy took said seats in front of the desk of Mrs. Clause. Both wondering what the North Pole’s matriarch summoned them for.

 

“Okay so ever since news broke out that Santa Claus wasn’t gonna be able to fly this year, all everyone has been asking me is how are we gonna deliver the presents now? Who can possibly fly Santa’s sleigh now?”

 

Callum Drift sat up a little straighter as he realized the direction this conversation was going. Mentally getting himself prepared for the big question that he knew was coming.

 

“Those were not easy questions to answer, I know my husband left very big boots to fill, and I can’t imagine the kind of pressure that’d fall upon whoever I asked. But luckily I think I know the exact right person for the job.”

 

Callum nodded his head at her words, a small smile starting to form on his face.

 

“Someone I know I can trust, someone that knows how important Christmas is to the world, someone that in my heart I believe my husband would’ve wanted for the job. Callum…”

 

Callum Drift stood up and opened his mouth to accept the offer-

 

“I’m counting on you to help Buddy be ready in time for Christmas.”

 

(Record player scratch)

 

“…Come again ma’am?”

 

“Gasp Mrs. C, are you telling me I get to be Santa Claus this year?”

 

“That’s right Buddy, it’s gonna be up to you to make sure all the good children get their gifts this Christmas.”

 

Buddy the Elf screamed like a little girl and ran around the office jumping and shouting with joy, like a kid who was just promised their favorite candy for dessert. Callum Drift glared at the unprofessionalism of the elf before he turned back to address Mrs. Claus.

 

“Ma’am this is a joke right? Buddy the Elf? You want to entrust Buddy the Elf with the most important assignment known to man? How in the world did you come to that conclusion?”

 

“Now Callum I know Buddy is a bit, excitable. But I figured his position as North Pole-Humanity liaison would make him more familiar with the outside world then most of us at the North Pole, plus him and Papa Elf helped design Santa’s Sleigh so it wouldn’t take him long to familiarize himself himself with it.”

 

“Thank you much Mrs C!” Buddy the Elf had finally finished his celebration and came over to talk to Mrs. Claus again. “I won’t let you down! I promise to be the best Santa Claus I can be-“

 

“No! Sorry but I’m putting my foot down here! Ma’am if anyone is qualified to take on the responsibilities of filling in for Nick, it’s me! Not some overgrown, undisciplined, squeaky voiced manchild who is treating this assignment like it’s a joke!”

 

“…You know I’m standing right here and can hear every hurtful word you’re saying right?”

 

“Look Buddy, I’m sorry but you are not the right guy for this job. I am! Go back to doing whatever the heck you usually do and leave this to the professionals.”

 

“Well excuse me Mr. Grumpy pants but I think you have a pretty big character flaw yourself.”

 

“And what, pray tell is that?”

 

“Christmas spirit and cheer. You have been nothing short of a negative Nancy ever since we got here, and Santa has told me multiple times that the most important thing to being Santa is having Christmas cheer no matter how hard the job might get.”

 

“Buddy we are smack dab in of a code red in just days before Christmas! Sorry if I am a little too stressed about that then in being a happy go lucky fool like you.”

 

“Well some people would argue in these situations maintaining your Christmas spirit is more important than ever! I know Santa would think so!”

 

“Listen here you childish little-“

 

“Okay enough! Both of you sit down!”

 

Both men reluctantly obeyed Mrs. Claus and sat, Buddy briefly stuck his tongue out at Callum before looking away. Callum rolled his eyes at the other man’s immaturity.

 

“Admittedly I hadn’t considered that you would want this position Callum. But in the interest of fairness how about I make this a competition: you’re both familiar the Santa Claus Simulation Course right?”

 

“Yes ma’am. It’s a simulated town that Nick uses to practice gift deliveries every year to keep himself warmed up for Christmas.”

 

“Papa Elf helped design the course.” 

 

“Okay good, since we still got a few days before Christmas I’ll give each of you a chance to show how good you would be on the job. You’ll each run the simulation and whoever can delivery the most presents in the shortest time with alerting any of the alert systems, will be given the role as Santa. Sound fair?”

 

Both men agreed on this condition. They both then stood and made their way to exit the room, but before leaving Buddy the Elf smiled and held out his hand to the unamused Callum Drift.

 

“May the best replacement Santa win.”

 

“Oh don’t worry, I always win.”

 

With that Callum Drift brushed past Buddy without shaking his hand.

 

“Geez, who stuck a candy cane up his a-“

 

************************************

 

Merry Christmas y’all!

 

So I got inspired after watching Red One(2024) with my family and then watching some clips of Elf on YouTube. Basically both Callum Drift and Buddy the Elf are gonna run a Santa Claus Simulator Course where they must deliver gifts to several houses without setting off alarms. Whoever delivers the most gifts in the shortest time wins the right to be Santa Claus this year.

 

Who wins?

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Callum Drift
Read more about Callum Drift at Wikipedia
Official Site: Amazon Links: Wikipedia

Buddy the Elf
Read more about Buddy the Elf at Wikipedia
Official Site: Warner Bros. Links: Wikipedia

[JohnnyChany]

A fun Christmas themed match. Was curious to see how these two would be competing. Buddy has the joy and festiveness in his favor, but Callum has the focus. I see Buddy trying hard but getting distracted which will cost him.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.80 - JohnnyChany

FPA Calculation:
1 Total Votes cast
4.80 Total Combined Score
4.80 / 1 = 4.80 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Callum Drift: 1
Buddy the Elf: 2