Tournament - Keebler Elves vs. Cookie Monster

[JohnnyChany]

THE BATTLE OF HOLLOW TREE

 

Ernie Keebler strolled through the bustling Hollow Tree Factory. The scent of fresh-baked cookies wafted through the air. Ernie's brown hat bobbed with every cheerful step. Inside the tree, the Keebler Elves were hard at work, each dedicated to their particular craft. All happy to do their part in the process.

"Elwood, that dough looks perfect today!" Ernie called out to a flour covered elf who was rolling out sheets of cookie dough with the practiced precision.

"Thanks, boss! Gotta make sure it's just the right consistency," Elwood replied. 

Ernie gave Elwood a thumbs-up. Ernie then passed by Sam the Peanut Butter baker, who was expertly layering dollops of creamy peanut butter into cookies. Ernie inhaled deeply.

 "Smells divine, Sam!" 

"That’s my secret. You bake with love!" Sam said with a proud smile.

Further down the line, Buckets, true to his name, gleefully flung fudge over rows of cookies with a quick flick of his wrist.

"Buckets, your aim is as sweet as ever!" Ernie quipped.

Buckets chuckled. “Years of practice, boss!”

Elsewhere, the hard work of the Keebler Elves was on full display over at Sesame Street. On a small picnic table in the park, a colorful assortment of Keebler cookies lay scattered. Ernie Keebler had left behind a large collection of their finest creations for the residents of Sesame Street to enjoy after a recent visit.

Among the selection were golden-brown Chips Deluxe cookies studded with sweet chocolate chunks, and shortbread Sandies, dusted with powdered sugar. Also, there were buttery Pecan Dreams, the chocolate drizzled Fudge Stripes, and gooey, fudge-filled E.L. Fudge sandwich cookies.

Cookie Monster stood near the picnic table; his googly eyes fixed on the cookies with a look of unrestrained glee.

"Cookies! Me love cookies!" he exclaimed with anticipation.

"Go ahead, Cookie Monster," Grover said gently from behind him. "They're for everyone. We even separated some of them just for you."

Grover pointed to a separate pile of cookies. Cookie Monster did not need a second invitation. He lunged at the table and grabbed a handful of Fudge Stripes. 

"Om nom nom nom!" 

The cookies from Cookie Monster’s pile disappeared with alarming speed. Crumbs flew everywhere.

Grover stepped forward cautiously. "Cookie Monster, slow down! You must savor the cookies, not inhale them!"

But Cookie Monster didn’t seem to hear him. He was already onto the Chips Deluxe from the main pile, shoving fistfuls into his mouth. His eyes spun wildly, and his excitement escalated with every bite.

 "So delicious! So chocolaty! So... so... perfect!"

"Uh, Cookie Monster," Elmo piped up, his voice tinged with worry, "maybe you should take a little break? Elmo thinks you might get a tummy ache."

Cookie Monster paused for a split second. Then he grabbed a stack of Sandies and growled.

"No stop! Me need more cookies!"

The crowd of Sesame Street residents around Cookie Monster began to back away as his eating grew more frantic. He snatched an entire tray of E.L. Fudge cookies.  His growls grew louder and more animalistic. His eyes no longer spun with joy, instead they whirled with a frenzied, feral hunger.

Grover turned to Elmo. "Oh dear, this is not good.  I’ve never seen him this bad before, Elmo.”

Elmo nodded. "What do we do? Elmo doesn’t think this is gonna end well!"

Grover stepped forward. He raised his arms in a calming gesture. "Cookie Monster, my friend, please listen to Grover. These cookies are a gift, but we must be respectful and share with others. You are better than this!"

Cookie Monster stopped briefly and glared at Grover. He slammed his hands on the table.

"No sharing! All cookies belong to ME!"

Grover stumbled back and almost fell over Elmo. 

Elmo gulped and stepped forward. "Cookie Monster, Elmo knows you love cookies, but what about Elmo's feelings? Elmo’s sad when his friends don’t share. Doesn’t Cookie Monster want to make Elmo happy?"

Cookie Monster grabbed a handful of Pecan Dreams and growled. The look on his face was unrecognizable to his friends and sent shivers down their spines.

Back at the Elves’ workshop, the ring of the factory’s phone brought Ernie back over to his desk.

"Hello, Hollow Tree Factory, this is Ernie Keebler speaking," he announced brightly.

"Hey Ernie, it’s Big Bird.”

"Ah! Big Bird! How’s everything on Sesame Street?" Ernie asked.

Big Bird’s tone was unusually somber. "Ernie, I hate to call you for this, but there’s a problem. You know those cookies you left behind when you visited?”

“Yeah, did the kids not like them?” Ernie wondered.

“No, the kids loved them... but so did Cookie Monster."

Ernie laughed. "Of course! That guy’s got a sweet tooth as big as a boulder."

Big Bird hesitated for a moment and then continued. "It’s worse than that, Ernie. Those cookies triggered something in him. He’s... he’s gone wild. Wilder than we have ever seen him before. Grover and Elmo tried to calm him down, but Cookie Monster…he, uh, knocked them out in a rage. He’s obsessed with getting more Keebler cookies, he squeezed the location out of Bert and...and... he’s on his way to the Hollow Tree right now."

Ernie’s smile faded. "What? How long do we have?"

Big Bird sighed. "Not long. I’m so sorry, Ernie. We tried to stop him, but he’s on a warpath right now. My suggestion is to not get in his way. Good luck."

Ernie hung up the phone. His mind raced and his hands trembled. He dashed over to the wrapping station where Fast Eddie was sealing packages.

"Eddie, slow down! We need to get some cookies ready to put outside as a peace offering."

Eddie’s hands froze mid-wrap. "Peace offering? What are you talking about, boss?" 

Ma Keebler, with a rolling pin in her hand, walked over to the station followed by Doc and Flo, the Keebler Elf accountant.

"What’s all the commotion, Ernie?" asked Ma Keebler. 

Ernie quickly explained the dire situation. When he finished, Doc rubbed his chin. 

"Ernie, I’m not sure a few cookies will satisfy Cookie Monster. From what you’ve said and what we have observed from him; his hunger and obsession might not stop until he’s devoured everything we’ve got."

Ma Keebler frowned. "If that is the case, maybe we should abandon the factory. I certainly don’t want anyone getting hurt if he barrels through here. We can rebuild and start up again somewhere else."

Flo shook her head. "If we lose the factory, we lose everything. Our recipes, our inventory, our machines, our livelihood. We have to protect it."

Ernie thought it over and nodded firmly. "Flo’s right. We’ve worked too hard to establish ourselves to let it all crumble now. We’ll defend the Hollow Tree."

"But it’s a factory, not a fortress!" Ma Keebler protested.

The low rumble of a deep, guttural voice interrupted them and echoed through the forest. 

"Cooooookieeee!"

"Cooooookieeee!"

The sound grew louder, accompanied by the crunch of branches and the rustling of leaves.

The elves froze, their eyes wide with fear. 

"He sounds like he is almost here," Eddie whispered.

Ernie took a deep breath and turned to his team. "We’re not giving up without a fight. We’ve got tools, we’ve got ingenuity, and we’ve got each other. Let’s use what we have to protect our home."

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Keebler Elves
Read more about Keebler Elves at Wikipedia
Official Site: Keebler Links: Wikipedia Retroland Time.com

Cookie Monster
Read more about Cookie Monster at Wikipedia
Official Site: PBS Kids Links: Wikipedia Muppet Wiki Sesamestreet.org

[ThePhenomenalOne]

There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than Cookie Monster from depths of a cookie binge, you can only hope to contain him. Unfortunately, the Keebler Elves will not be able to stop the rampaging monster. Their only chance is to offer him a shit ton of cookies everyday. The blind rampage might be too much for reason though. Great set up and thanks for the laugh!