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You Be The Judge
Vote for who you would think would win

Anya Forger

Boris Badenov & Natasha Fatale

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Posted

“Oo-ting oot-ting, we’re going on an oo-ting!” Anya happily sang holding her “father” and “mother’s” hands while boarding the platform.The platform was full of students from Eden Academy and their parents for an overnight trip to a neighboring country. 

 

“Miss Anya, do take care. And Loid be careful, I hear all sorts of things about Pottsylvania.” Yor Forger, the girl’s foster mother offered her daughter a hug and an awkward smile at her husband in name. 

 

Loid grimaced, Yor was in many ways the ideal cover wife, but she could certainly be awkward. “This trip will be an excellent opportunity for you to see some more of the world, Anya.” His adoptive daughter looked at him as he thought, “and a perfect chance for me to spy in Pottsylvania for WISE.” His daughter’s jaw gasped open as she read his mind. There would be real spying on this trip! How exciting! Her dropped jaw rapidly turned to a beaming smile as she looked out of the train window as the 3:10 from Berlint to Pottsylvania pulled out of the station.  Loud thought to himself, “Pottsylvania is almost a mystery to all of Westalis. Their economy is focused on spycraft and counterintelligence. The Pottsylvania Eavesdropper is even printed in invisible ink…” As Agent Twilight mused to himself about the assignment awaiting him, Anya grew more and more excited to go to a country full of spies with her Papa the master spy.

 

Anya was awed at the exit to the station. Everyone was wearing black and blue trench coats, hats, dark glasses and clothing. Everywhere she saw posters praising their fearless leader, Fearless Leader. She looked upon a class of five year olds discussing the best ways to steal classified documents in a nearby alleyway, she saw people driving their Assassin-8 cars over their twelve miles of road, and she looked in awe as her thoughts detected a short man in a hat’s thoughts.

“Natasha and me, back in Pottsylvania. Finally free of all the spywork with American moose and squirrel.” A short squat man in a black trenchcoat and hat was accompanied by a lanky woman in a purple dress.

 

“But Boris, we must have something to show Fearless Leader. Or else-” The woman’s thoughts continued, “we will be finding ourselves like so much chopped liver.”

 

“Fret not my deadly darlingk Natasha, we are the cleverest most capable spies in the world. Even without Moose and Squirrel I have a plan. A genius plan guaranteed to achieve success beyond compare. At this moment that little Desmond Boy-Damian-”

 

Anya perked up, “Sy-On Boy?” she looked to her father who was drawn into discussion with the other high ranking parents of her classmates. She would need to protect Damian herself.

 

“He is the son of the party chairman in Ostania, yes? We will make him think we are his new best friends. Fearless Leader will have to appreciate all of our hard work for capturing such a valuable target. I will disguise myself as a very important man, someone far too fancy for his little head! Or we could offer him rare, expensive toys—he will never be able to resist, yes?"

 

“Oh Boris, how will we get these expensive new toys? Pottsylvania only makes mean, we have more mean per inch than most countries have per mile, and his father is so important, what if he ignores us?” As Boris and Natasha schemed, Anya looked over to Damian and his friends before walking up to him.

 

“What do you want, Uggo?” Emile and Ewen Damian’s hangers on said as they positioned themselves between Anya and Damian.

 

“Don’t worry bossman, we can take care of her.” Damian looked at Anya between the shoulders of his two friends.

 

“Sy-on boy shouldn’t take things. It will go badly.” Anya delivered her words with a deadpan seriousness and no smile on her face, as Anya turned away as Damian and his friends gawked.

 

“Was she threatening me?” Damian thought. Anya stumbled as she read his thought, was the friendship scheme in danger? Papa might replace her with Mama if she was a bad student. Anya’s thoughts raced as she looked to her one potential source of help. 

 

“Becky, we need to help sy-on boy avoid strangers” The other six year old lit up at Anya’s suggestions.

 

“Anya, you’re worried he’s going to be seduced by some exotic Pottsylvanian woman? I didn’t think you were the jealous type!” Becky, as always, thought of everything in terms of the romantic movies and shows she loved. “Of course I can help you keep him from those rivals leave everything to me, we can cut out the competition!”

 

Anya thought about knives and scissors to cut the competition as Becky for some reason began talking about romantic walks along historical sites and rivers. 

 

“Darlingk when do we capture the Demond boy?” Natasha asked.

 

“There’s no time like the President,” Boris replied incorrectly, “we just need to wait till he is away from his chaperones like right now.” Boris saw Mr. Henderson calling the chaperones to a quick meeting as he walked over dressed as a man in a blue smoking jacket, white pants, with an appropriate blonde toupee and yachting cap. “Ahoy, ahoy!”

 

“Who are you?” Damian asked to the figure approaching him

 

“Allow me to introduce myself,” Boris gave a deep bow here, “I am Captain Needamore Goldboys. I am a famous Pottsylvanian boat explorer!” Anya could see the wonder gripping Damian’s two less astute friends and she knew it was up to her to keep Sy-on boy safe from these spies, maybe she would even earn a Stella Star and Starlight Anya would return. She would do it, just like her hero Bondman from Spywars. "and let me introduce my assistant, the best scuba diver in all of Pottsylvania Annasinka Debotva." He gestured to Natasha wearing an oversized diving bell helmet.

 

“How can you be a boat Captain if Pottsylvania doesn’t have an ocean?” Boris was shocked at the question from Anya as Ewen and Emile began to accuse her of jealousy because the boat captain wouldn’t want to talk to an Uggo like her, but as this happened Damian decided he was disinterested in this and began to walk away leaving Anya and Boris wondering what to do next.

Posted

So I’m guessing the scenario is that Boris and Natasha are trying to kidnap Damian and Anya will be trying to stop them?

Well considering Anya has managed to run afoul of far more competent criminals (such as the Red Circus or that rouge military group from Code White) I think she successfully protects Damian from Boris and Natasha.

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