Match 21359 Weapons Merchant (Resident Evil 4) vs. Vincent Gambini vs. Jackie Chiles

[Mercenaryblade]

"What're Ya Buyin'? …A Lawyer."

The arrest of the enigmatic Merchant sent shockwaves through the criminal underworld. A shadowy figure who had supplied weapons, ammo, and questionably acquired artifacts to desperate mercenaries, rogue agents, and unsuspecting tourists in Eastern Europe, he had finally been caught. The charges? Arms trafficking, smuggling, and operating an unlicensed business in multiple war zones.

Despite his tendency to appear and disappear without a trace, the feds had finally nabbed him in a sting operation when he attempted to sell a rocket launcher out of a tattered trench coat in Times Square. The officers involved still weren’t sure how he got through airport security with a full arsenal, but that was beside the point.

Now, he sat in a dimly lit interrogation room, shackled to the table, his glowing red eye scanning the room beneath his hood. A single thought occupied his mind:

"Not a single sale today… What a terrible turn of events."

Outside, in the courthouse hallway, two lawyers stood locked in an intense standoff.

"Let me get this straight," Vincent Gambini said, adjusting his leather jacket. "You think you’re gonna waltz in there with your big words and fancy suit and take this case from me?"

"I don’t think—I know," Jackie Chiles fired back, straightening his tie. "This man—this mysterious, hooded, weapons-trafficking individual—requires a legal representative with poise, sophistication, and a keen understanding of the nuances of international commerce! You, sir, are simply unqualified."

Gambini scoffed. "Yeah? And you’re overqualified. This ain’t a class-action lawsuit over defective sponges, pal. This is a criminal case, and I know how to work a jury."

"The only thing you’re working is my last nerve."

Before the argument could escalate further, the interrogation room door creaked open, and a gravelly voice called out:

“Well, well, well… what’re ya offerin’?”

Gambini and Chiles turned to see the Merchant staring at them, his single red eye glowing faintly. Despite the chains on his wrists, he seemed completely at ease, as if he were the one in control.

“I hear you both want to represent me,” he mused, leaning forward. “But I don’t make deals lightly. I need the best. So tell me, lads…”

He tilted his head.

"What kind of case… are ya buildin’?”

A beat of silence. Gambini and Chiles exchanged wary glances.

"Aw, hell," Gambini muttered. "This guy's gonna be a problem."

Vote for either lawyer if he chooses them.

Vote merchant if he declines both.

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Weapons Merchant (Resident Evil 4)
Read more about Weapons Merchant (Resident Evil 4) at Wikipedia
Official Site: Capcom Links: Wikipedia

Vincent Gambini
Read more about Vincent Gambini at Wikipedia
Official Site: 20th Century Fox Links: Wikipedia

Jackie Chiles
Read more about Jackie Chiles at Wikipedia
Official Site: Sony Pictures Links: Wikipedia

[ThePhenomenalOne]

Interesting match up! I'd personally go with Vincent Gambini as he oozes New York and should be more in his element.

[Mercenaryblade]

  On 3/28/2025 at 12:59 PM, ThePhenomenalOne said:

Interesting match up! I'd personally go with Vincent Gambini as he oozes New York and should be more in his element.

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Thanks this was originally a misclick that was supposed to be rumble. But then I figured, eh, why not? Let's put a quick setup here